Tuesday, December 28, 2010
First of all, here's the article in its entirety- Do you like how I kept it small so you can't see the horrible picture of my face?
Now here are some sections that you can actually read.
Box with Picture "Hey! Who cut out the face?" Yeah, that would be me! Whenever I complain about this picture, people always say, "You were about to have twins," like I'm pissed because I'm so big. Let me clarify . . . I could care less about how big I look in the picture because #1 I'm not a skinny girl and #2 I was almost 37 weeks pregnant with twins. I post up belly pictures all the time, even naked belly pics, so that wasn't it. It was the grimace on my face . . . my face that had no make-up on and my hair was pulled back like a woman on bed rest who was able to get out of the house on the days she had Doctor's appointments. Anyone want to guess what October 1st was? Yup, a Dr's appointment.
Oh and I love that my HRC sticker on my van is showing . . . it's like they knew keeping it in would soften the blow of the picture :)
So- big Thank Yous to Star for the following things . . .
* Running the article before I turned 36.
* Not disclosing my actual City where I live and work.
* Mentioning my boutique, Ruby Q's . . . I'll take the free advertising.
* Mentioning my blog . . . Again, I'll take any traffic I can get.
* Keeping the HRC sticker in the picture.
* Giving me props for helping out another gay couple (Yay, George and Sanj!)
* Sending the PDF to the guys so they could give me a heads up.
* Saying I had a "healthy sense of humor" and mentioning my "Big Heart" numerous times. (Better that than Big-Boned) LOL.
Things that are either wrong or I find it interesting that they left out . . .
* I find it convenient they left out that I'm a College Instructor. What, do they not want to let it out that some Surrogates are actually educated? Hmmmmm . . . . .
* My NOH8 photo is my profile picture on blogger and twitter, both of which they mentioned visiting . . . so they could not have used that picture? Or referenced it somehow? Dang it!
* They always get the part about shopping around for Surrogates wrong. At Growing Generations, Intended Parents do not get to look through tons of profiles at one time. They get one. If they don't like her, they get another.
In Conclusion, in all the articles I read in Star about my Intended Parents there are numerous false statements, some of which I won't even talk about because they are personal in Nature. But my biggest complaint in the article about who I am, is that when they discuss me "carrying NPH's babies," and "before she gave birth to NPH's daughter and son-" . . . ah, remember there are two dads in this story. I think it would've been more accurate to say, when I was carrying their babies and before I gave birth to their daughter and son.
Being involved in this and knowing the truth regarding these things, it has taught me a lesson about these types of magazines. I was reminded that the stories they publish are not accurate but I never realized how off they could be. How they would say they have a "source" and what the "source" supposedly said was totally false. When you read these magazines, blogs and websites, I'd be careful what you believe because yes, I am big hearted, have a healthy sense of humor and in fact, am beautiful . . . but other parts of these stories are not always so true and sometimes, very hurtful.
One last thing. I have to say I am grateful that the article, although it had issues, was very kind to me. Other Surrogates for famous couples have not had the same experience. So, Thank you Star for being nice to me and not trying to make the wonderful thing I did seem horrible. I help make gay men fathers, it's a calling really, so thank you for not tarnishing that.
Okay, the People article came out and they discuss how they used each partner's sperm. . . . That was the other thing that bothered me . . . all the articles would just talk about Neil using his Sperm. What's up with that? Why would they assume that they'd just use Neil's? Haven't seen the pictures in the article yet, but David better be in them. I get so pissed when they have a picture of "Hollywood Babies" and they only have the most famous parent with them. HELLO?! If I were Mario Lopez's girlfriend, I would be upset if I wasnt' photographed with their baby. What, she just carried her and gave birth to her . . . and is her mother. But I digress . . .
Monday, December 27, 2010
Here is the Ornament for my First Journey- "Natasha and Anjali
My Surro Girlies 11-28-08"
Here is the Ornament for my Second Journey- "The Wonder Twins
Gideon & Harper 10-12-10" although it photographed blue, but it's really lavender.
And here they are hanging on my tree!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
I can't wait to see the card from George, Sanj and the girls and even more so, seeing the pictures from the holidays from both families I helped create. It's like the gift that keeps on giving . . . every few days/weeks I get to see pictures of two beautiful families enjoying each other. It is quite amazing.
Remember when I blogged about . . . How To Remember . . .? Well, along the same line, I decided to have Christmas Ornaments made. So every year when my family decorates our tree I can be reminded of Natasha & Anjali and Gideon & Harper. When I receive them in the mail, I'll post some pictures. I thought it was a great idea. My friend Ashley sent me a picture of her ornament and I thought, I need one of those . . . or actually two.
Lastly, I know all my followers are not on my Holiday Card mailing list, so I thought I'd share our card and my letter this year. As, you can see, my Holiday letters are a little like my blog . . .
Well, well, well . . . here we are, the end of 2010. Man, I can’t believe the year is almost over. Honestly, it feels like a little over 350 days, but what do I know? Regardless, it’s time for the letter of all letters. Yes, hold onto your seats, I give you the Rummelhart’s Yearly Wrap-up.
Ruby is doing great. After starring in her critically acclaimed, one-woman show on Broadway she received early admission into Juilliard. Preston has also had a spectacular year, or should I say Dr. Rummelhart? In the last 12 months he has graduated high school, college and Medical School. He is currently doing his residency and will no doubt finish by the time you read this letter. After Sawyer’s youtube video hit over 10 million views, he was asked by Lady Gaga to join her for the remainder of her World Tour. The costumes are a bit much for a four year old, but how can you pass up on an opportunity like that? Even if he’s in rehab by 6, he’ll be out soon enough to star on Skating with the Stars, so it’s really win-win.
All kidding aside . . . Sawyer is learning a lot in preschool this year as he gets ready for kindergarten next year. We thought Ruby and Preston were “smarty pants” but Soy-town seems to be blowing them away. He loves being outside in the sandbox and enjoys playing games on my phone and iPad. I’m sure you saw him in newspapers across the country and all over the internet. How funny was that?
Preston turned 7 in June and is having a great time in the second grade. He excels in reading and math and adores his teacher. He still likes to play xBox 360, build things with his legos and loves to read in bed at night.
Ruby is still our little dancing queen, well not so little anymore since she comes up to my shoulders now. She is loving the 4th grade and is in her 7th year of dance. We can’t believe she’ll be 10 next year- yikes!
Ricky and I are still doing the same things as the last several years . . . working, trying to be the best parents we can be, working, having babies for people, working and loving each other. Speaking of which, we celebrated our 10 year anniversary this year. Well, not quite celebrate as I had just given birth to twins, but squeezed hands and got Chinese Take-out.
As I mentioned before, on October 12th I gave birth to Gideon and Harper and a week later landed in Star Magazine. I would’ve included a copy of it here but with the picture they published, they should be happy I didn’t decide to burn down their offices. They are doing well and I’m excited to fly to LA to see them in January. At the end of November, the family and I were able to celebrate the 2nd birthday of my first set of surrogate twins, Natasha and Anjali. It has been amazing seeing them grow. I’m lucky that George and Sanj have added us to their family.
We are excited to see what the next year holds, so bring it on 2011!
Monday, December 13, 2010
It feels like more than 8 weeks since I gave birth to Gid and Harper. Now that I'm back to work I get asked (over and over) if I plan on being a Surrogate for the third time. Actually, this question usually starts even before I've given birth. I think I'm being asked even more this time around for some reason.
So will I? I don't know. I've thought about it the whole time. Twenty years ago when I thought about being a surrogate, I certainly didn't think I'd do it more than once. A few months into my first journey I thought I would do it a second time and Natasha and Anjali's birth sealed the deal. So when Growing Generations asked me a few weeks later if I saw myself doing this again, I told them Yes, but that I wanted a several months of not being pregnant. A few months later I was matched and my second journey began. Even back then I thought about a third journey. Would that be crazy? What would people say? Would I be pressing my luck? Would I be too old by then?
My answer is, I don't know, because I really don't know. I would LOVE to go round three . . . there are couples out there who need help and I enjoy being pregnant but I'm not sure how everyone would react. I'm not usually a person who cares what people think but I have to admit, a third surrogacy might push some of my family and in-laws over the edge. However, they know me well, so I'm sure they realize this is something I'm thinking about.
I may do a Positive/Negative chart post, so you can see exactly how Rick and I are coming to our decision but for now I know if I do go Round #3, I may need to change it up a bit. A friend of mine who is also a Surrogate asked to be matched with a straight international couple. That way it would be a totally different journey, so it wouldn't take away anything from her first journey. Well, even though my second journey was also for gay men, it was TOTALLY different . . . I think most of you know why.
I see my matches like my children. I have 3 kids. They are all different but I love them the same. I remember when I was pregnant with Preston (my #2 bio) I thought, is there anyway I could love him as much as Ruby? And I did. I love my #3 bio kid Sawyer too. And my Intended Parents are the same. I remember after Growing Generations approached me about being a Surrogate again. I was thinking, Would I feel the same about them as George and Sanj . . . it didn't seem possible. But I found out that my heart was big enough for the 4 of them, and luckily, so was my uterus :)
Now, I have been asked by Growing Generations if I'd be interested in being a Surrogate a third time. Just like last time (and the time before) they already have an idea of a great match for me. They've done a great job matching me so far, so I trust that this new couple they have in mind would be great too. There's just one "catch" . . . it's a straight couple. **crickets** I know, I was surprised as well. This is not something I've really thought about before. In all honesty, I haven't thought about it too much until now, well besides debating if my Uterus was Heterophobic. But I've been having some interesting conversations with myself (again, another post for later). Last time I felt a little like I was "cheating" on George and Sanj. With this opportunity, would I be "cheating" on Gay men everywhere?! Who knows, it may just be the different type of Journey I need . . . we'll see.
In Conclusion, I have a lot of thinking to do. Do I help one more family or do I retire? I know one thing for sure . . . I don't want to be the Brett Favre of Surrogacy. Wait, let me clarify. I don't mean I'm going to text someone a picture of my uterus . . . I mean I don't want to keep going back and forth about my decision. I want to make an educated decision and stick with it.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Which brings me to my new catch phrase that will join "My Uterus Is An ALLY" in my own Hall of Fame.
Drumroll please . . . . . . . .
Kelly. Helping Gay Men "Procreate" since 2008!
I think it has a ring to it! :)
Friday, December 3, 2010
First of all, "The Blues" that sometimes follows your Surrogacy birth is hard enough to talk about with other Surrogates (if you even know any) . . . let alone trying to explain it to Non-Surrogates who won't get it. When I had Natasha and Anjali, I didn't know any other Surrogates. I didn't meet Stacie (online or otherwise) until after I gave birth. So when I went through it the first time, I was alone. From then on, I've tried to make it my job to seek out other Surrogates and introduce them to each other or at least Follow their blogs publicly and make supportive comments, so they knew they were not alone. It really makes a difference during your journey to have someone who knows what you're going through (for the most part). Yes, each journey is different, but there are several things that are very similar, if not identical, for us all.
After I gave birth to Natasha and Anjali, I came home feeling great about what I accomplished. I went through all my pictures (there were tons) and revisited my blog to remind myself what happened . . . Later, I would do this whenever I felt down. I think the first few days back after my second surro-birth were a little tougher. Out of respect for Gid and Harper's Parents, I didn't take any of my own photos. So when I got home, I had nothing to look at except for the special blog I created just for them. I was so thankful when hours after I left the hospital (a day after they left) they texted me pictures of the babies. A few days later they emailed me tons of pictures from our time in the hospital . . . it was exactly what I needed. Pictures of me with them, of them with their babies, of my kids with their babies, everything I needed to remind myself of the beautiful outcome to our journey.
Pictures or not, the first week or two are the toughest. I am a crier. I cry at cheesy movies and Oreo commercials. So, imagine a woman who has all these hormones from being pregnant, who just gave birth, who doesn't know what to do with herself and who has time to sit around and think of it all. For me, I would be fine, then I'd just start crying . . . for no reason and I couldn't control it. At first it was several times a day. Then after a week or two passed, a few times a day. Then a few weeks later, maybe once a day. Anything and everything could trigger it, like I said, I couldn't control myself. Then eventually, for me about 5 weeks, you notice you went an entire day without crying.
And here's where it is easier to talk to other Surrogates . . . most people, including my friends and strangers would see me crying and might think I missed the babies. Not so. What I THOUGHT it was, was me missing the contact with the IPs, but that wasn't it either. Both times after the birth the Parents would email, text and call me on a weekly basis. So in my head, I thought I was being abandoned, but I wasn't, NOT AT ALL . . again, no control over the feelings . . . even those that are totally unfounded or flat out wrong. I remember thinking the first few weeks, that they were ignoring me . . . but if I would rationally think about it, they had sent me flowers, cards and emailed me new pictures, called me to tell me about how the babies were doing. Heck, we'd even make plans to have them visit me or have me fly down and visit them. Is that being abandoned? NO! And even though I could rationally think of all of that and how it didn't add up to the way I was feeling, my behavior wouldn't change. Having no control of my feelings was tough, especially when you're a woman who is usually in control of everything.
I emailed some of my Surrogate friends 3 days after I got home from the hospital (6 days past Birth) when I finally figured it out. Here's an excerpt from that email. . . .
"In the past I've compared it to planning a wedding . . . how you spend almost a year planning for your wedding, this one day and in a matter of hours it's over. Yes, you're happy but later you're left with a "now what do I do" since you spent so much time on the planning . . it's like you feel empty in a way. But I finally realized what it's really like for me. . . it's like I got fired from a job I loved. My job was over and the company needed to downsize. I had done my job well but there isn't really anything else left for me to do . . . I don't like (feeling this way) this stage and I'm glad it doesn't last long."
Then about a week later . . .
"Can someone remind me how long "the blues" lasts? I can't remember . . . I'm over this not being in control of my tears. Went grocery shopping (for the first time since bed rest) and lost it in the store. LAME"
Here's that story- I knew I was still crying over whatever but needed groceries. I figured, it would be good to get back to normal, so I took off. About 15 minutes into my trip, with my cart half-way filled, I had a woman in her early sixties approach me. She said she had seen the article of me in Star Magazine and wanted to Thank me. She then told me her older brother was Gay and that when she told him about me, he started to cry. Well, that was all I needed to start bawling inside Safeway! I couldn't stop. I told her I was sorry. I thought about leaving my groceries and getting the hell out of there but my kids needed food. So I took several deep breaths and continued. A few aisles later, I ran into a friend who could tell I had just been crying. She made the mistake of asking me what was wrong . . . TEARS! I kept apologizing and telling her I couldn't control myself and that unlike my appearance, I was in fact okay. (I don't think she believed me). I don't think anyone would believe you in that situation . . . but that's how it would always play out. Whether it was Safeway or my dining room table, when I'd start to cry (for no reason) I'd start apologizing to whoever I was with and tell them I was okay. It was almost like an out of body experience. I was looking at myself thinking, "Jesus Kelly, pull it together" but just couldn't.
I think having a c-section doesn't help you get over the blues any quicker because as much as you try to get things back to normal, you can't. You are physically not capable of doing so. Hell, I had Sawyer (MY last baby) on Saturday morning and walked Ruby and Preston to school on Monday. This doesn't happen with a c-section. I am also well known for pushing my limits (Hello! Disneyland at 29 weeks pregnant with twins) so I have to make sure I take it easy. This means no going to the gym to get your mind off of it.
Lastly, one of my surrogate friends told me that she finally felt back to normal when she went back to work because for her, her job is her life. I think that's a great point but for me, I think I've made Surrogacy my life, part of my identity. It's what I do. It's who I am. It's what I blog about. It's how I spend my free time (following other blogs). It is something I can't get away from . . . and why would I want to? The Blues pass, but I will be me forever.
My Name is Kelly and I'm a Surrogate Mother.
For other Surrogates who read this, when you get to this part of your journey . . . if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. I am here.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Here's Ruby with Anjali- the girls are wearing the silly sacs we gave them for their birthday. A monkey for Natasha and a cow for Anjali (which I hear, days later, they are still wearing)
When we ate lunch, Anjali insisted on sitting on Rick's lap
Here's our try at a group picture. Even though it was 1 day before their second birthday, they have already mastered the skill of not cooperating for family photos :)
And Last, here's a video of singing Happy Birthday. My apologies (in advance) for our singing voices :) Not sure how to make it smaller so if you'd rather, here's the LINK
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
1. I'm a very loyal friend, if someone is messing with someone I care about (in high school or at the age of 34) I will take them out and not think twice about it.
2. Some people say I'm the funniest person they know (They've got a great sense of humor).
3. Some people totally don't get my jokes/comments (what's their problem?)
4. I thank "enter your deity here" everyday Girls Gone Wild wasn't around when I was younger and "going wild" . . . my breasts were amazing and I didn't mind showing them off every now and then, ahhhhh memories.
5. Being a surrogate mother was one of the most emotionally rewarding things I've ever done . . . and I think I may do it for just one more couple (It was that awesome)!
6. I worry that my daughter will grow up to be bitchy, so I've tried to talk to her since she started school about how to be a great friend and never say anything about someone that you wouldn't say to their face.
7. I'm used to being good at things, so when I'm not, I get frustrated and want to quit (I hate that about me).
8. I do too much and it's hard for me to say no when I know people need my help.
9. Every now and then, I look around at my house and family and wonder how I can have all of this? I still feel like I'm not an adult sometimes, like I was just in high school 3 years ago.
10. I want to punch people in the throat when they say something is "gay" . . . get a new fucking adjective, one that fits.
11. Did I mention I have the mouth of a sailor?
12. I have a dolphin tattoo and a butterfly tattoo- and apparently tons of women do- but I chose mine because I used to swim competitively and butterfly was my best stroke.
13. I had sex too early but wouldn't take back anything that I did in the past because it made me who I am today . . . . it helped me realize I wanted to teach other people that sex doesn't equal love and it's not something to be ashamed of or taken lightly.
14. I'm addicted to my computer, seriously, I am.
15. When I watch BIG LOVE I think about what it would be like to have other wives with me, and I think I could make it work.
16. I hate it when people use religion as fact in a discussion. I don't believe in God, so your argument holds no validity with me . . . but feel free to have your own beliefs- just don't assume everyone has your faith.
17. Speaking of which, If your god was so against homosexuality wouldn't it have been in his "Top Ten" . . so maybe people should use their "church money" to keep people who steal, murder, commit adultery and work on Sundays from getting married.
18. I am for equal rights- and no one can make me believe ANYONE should have any less rights than I do.
19. I'm glad we don't have any pets.
20. The three movies where I cried the hardiest (heaving chest, can't breathe, barely consolable) were Schindler's List, The Green Mile and Brokeback Mountain.
21. I'd like to teach full time at my college but SOMEONE won't fucking retire.
22. Songs on the radio "take me back" and sometimes to places and people I shouldn't think about.
23. When I read the description of a Scorpio, it is true (for me).
24. There is nothing wrong Masturbation at any age.
25. I don't want to lose my children, but I can't wait to see what kind of people they grow up to be.
I see your 25 and raise you 1 more . . .
26. I have a wild imagination. Sometimes I'll think about if a robber comes in, or if this happens- what will I do and I'll work out an ENTIRE plan in my mind about how I'm going to get my family out safely . . . .. did I mention we're sitting in Baskin Robbins?
Monday, November 29, 2010
First of all, I'm coming off a high of spending a day celebrating my surro-girlies 2nd birthday (will post about that ASAP with pictures).
Next, not only did I get an adorable Thanksgiving Day picture from the guys but I'm in the process of making plans to visit "The Wonder Twins" (Gideon & Harper) in January when I have to go to Los Angeles for the California Gift Show to shop for my store, Ruby Q's.
FYI- The Wonder Twins is what I called Harper and Gideon during the pregnancy. I grew up watching the cartoon and since they were boy/girl twins, I couldn't call them "my girlies" or "the boys" . . . so the Wonder Twins it was.
"Wonder Twin Powers Activate, Form of a Fetus . . . Form of Another Fetus!"
Oh- and I actually ordered Holiday Cards, picked a photo from this weekend instead of stressing about a formal picture . . . finding matching clothes, hoping for no black eyes or facial scratches, don't care who's actually looking at the camera . . . much less stressful!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
How dare you hurt a couple this way. You are lucky that I am not in the same state as you or I would seek you out and KICK YOU IN THE UTERUS!
In all seriousness, this is why I think it is very important to use a reputable agency as Intended Parents and as a Surrogate. My agency, Growing Generations, screens Surrogates and their partners medically and mentally. They do background checks on both the woman and her partner/husband.
Lastly, Audrey, I'm serious, you better hide that uterus if you see me . . . because my beautiful uterus (proven fact FYI) is stepping up to your cheating/scamming uterus and I think all my readers know who'd win that Contest. It's a Uterus-Off Y'all!
FYI- for those of you who don't know me, this is a joke. Now, I would think that would be a "no-brainer" but I guess not, as I received a comment about how horrible and sick I am. LOL! Whatever! I would never kick someone in the uterus . . . although, if I did- it would probably hurt her less than the hurting of the couple she scammed.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Let me give you a little history . . . even though I have only purchased and used APPLE (MAC) computers since 1985, I do not own an iPhone yet. Once they make a deal with Verizon, I'm sure I'll be in line, but for now I refuse to pay money for a phone and then have to pay more money to use it with my provider. In September of this year, I received an iPad as a gift. Something to help me "make it through" the boredom that is Doctor Ordered Bed Rest. I like the iPad. It is fun and has lots of games for myself and my children too. Ruby loves the math flash cards, Preston enjoys Angry Birds and Sawyer loves Checkers. All these games were Free, as was Smurf's Village.
So . . . . . I found out last night while looking at my online bank statement that almost $70 was charged to my account from iTunes. Upon investigation, I discovered my 4 year old (who has played various games for months with no issues) had purchased smurfberries while playing the "FREE" game. Specifically, he purchased 1 bushel for $11.99 and 11 buckets at $4.99 each. Luckily he didn't click the most expensive option, Wheelbarrow for $59.99, because if he did, with the amount of times he clicked it, my total would've been over $700!!
Since this has happened, I have now learned that you can change the settings on your iPad or iPhone to deny In Ap Purchases. I did so immediately! Another thing that someone shared with me is that the iOS will keep you logged on for 15 minutes after you download the app. Additional purchases won’t require a re-entry of the password during this 15 minute interval . . . so you may want to not let your kids use your device until 30 minutes past an authorized purchase. I have also emailed iTunes to try to get my money back. I consider it an unauthorized purchase. Every time I've ever made a purchase, I have to put in my password. I have never made an IN AP Purchase, didn't even know it existed, so I assumed my kids didn't have access. I WAS WRONG.
Last night, I started googling about this very thing and have found I am far from alone! I have found others on Twitter complaining about their kids purchasing Smurf Berries too! I even stumbled upon a father who complained to the media because his son did the same thing. Since, there are other parents out there in the same boat, I've decided to start a Facebook Group, "I got SMURFED by Capcom!" It's a group for Parents who found out (the hard way) they need to change setting to "NO IN AP PURCHASES" on their iPads and iPhones because they were shocked to learn their children were making unauthorized purchases on their Apple products.
I am really hoping that Apple had no clue, because it seems very obvious to me that this is a BIG SMURFIN' SCAM! If it was an oversite, I hope they fix it quickly. When I read how Smurf's Village has outsold Angry Birds, I believe it . . . perhaps Capcom, the company that created the game, knows EXACTLY what they are doing!
BEWARE! Don't get Smurfed like me!
Heard back from Apple and I will be refunded . . . "Please note that this is a one-time exception, as the App Store Terms and Conditions state that all sales are final." I hope APPLE speaks with Capcom about this or their iTunes Customer Service is going to be working a lot of overtime on this issue.
Story got picked up by the Associated Press . . . since there have been tons of newspapers/websites/blogs picking it up . . . Here's a link to one of the stories- Bushels of "Smurfberries" cost parents buckets of cash
I also did a quick interview with KGO Radio in San Francisco and a quick blurb on the local news station (below)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Originally Posted on 4/22/09 My Uterus is Just Very Friendly! . . . proceeding with second journey.
Originally Posted on 11/6/2008 Shaved Legs and Memory Lane #1 - Ruby's birth/first birth experience aka Poop fest.
Originally Posted on 8/26/10 These are a few of my favorite things . . .
Originally Posted on 6/30/09 It's the Least I could've done . . . - recalling the Thank You BBQ George and Sanj threw my family where I got to meet their friends.
Originally Posted on 7/16/09 How to remember . . . - where I decide how to commenarate my Surrogacy journeys.
Originally Posted on 12/28/09 Where is all the Good PR on Surrogacy? - because it can be read enough.
Originally Posted on 5/8/10 It's Hard to Name Babies - and guess what? They went with one of my unused names! YAY!
Monday, November 15, 2010
If you remember, back in June 2010 I went to San Francisco Pride with two of my surrogate friends. One of the most eventful activities we participated in was the NOH8 Photo Shoot.
When we got to the front of the line, we introduced ourselves and explained why I was exposing my belly and putting the stickers on it. I am not sure if we were the first Surrogates to pose for photographs but just in case, I sent them pictures of us waiting in line and one from the Pride Parade. Later, I saw they posted it on their blog (towards the bottom). At the time, I told them I'd compose a "WHY I POSED" but never got around to writing it down. Well, I finally ordered copies of my picture and it arrived today . . . so I figured, I should take the time to complete it.
One day, it would be awesome to take another NOH8 photo with the my both my surro-families; 4 Dads, 2 sets of twins and the Surrogate that loves them all, me.
In the last 9 years I have given birth to seven children. Three are my own and four (two sets of twins) are babies I birthed for two different Gay couples. My Uterus is an Ally.
I consider my Surrogacy for Gay Men my own Uterine Activism. I feel strongly and passionately about Equality and figure, if I don't have tons of money to donate to the cause, I at least have a Uterus and Blog that can send a powerful message. I belong to HRC, make donations to organizations fighting for LGBT Rights, including Marriage Equality and posing for the NOH8 Campaign was one more thing I could do to let society and my own kids know that I SUPPORT GAY FAMILIES.
Please know that I will continue to "fight the fight" because no one has the right to tell my friends, the fathers' of my surro-babies or (many years from now) my own children that they can't marry whoever they LOVE. I pledge to repeal Prop 8 and restore marriage equality in California . . . and I promise I will fight for your rights until the day I die.
*Natasha & Anjali 11/28/08
*Gideon & Harper 10/12/10
-Kelly & her Uterus
***** UPDATE *****
They have put it on their site . . . here's the direct link to mine CLICK HERE and if you want to read other people's stories CLICK HERE! I also have it below, so years from now I'll still have it, when the link isn't working anymore.
Repost from January of 2009
All my surgical tape has fallen off (okay, some of it pulled) to reveal a C-section scar about 5.5 inches long. This is one of the things my OB, Dr. Knight will be checking this Tuesday at my 6-week follow up appointment. This got me thinking about scars in general.
The definition of the word Scar:
1. A mark left on the skin after a surface injury or wound has healed.
2. A lingering sign of damage or injury, either mental or physical.
I agree with the first meaning but I'm not quite "on board" for the second (regarding my own experience). When I look at my scar the last thing that comes to my mind is "damage or injury".
I look at My Scar and see a lingering signs of Hope, Joy and Family.
I'm not going to say I don't have any vanity, because I do, but I am a bit bummed that my days of wearing bikinis are over. This has nothing to do with the scar from my surrogacy pregnancy, it has to do with my belly from my own three pregnancies. The last time I wore a bikini was probably the year 2000. The scar is so low that even with a bikini on (when Hell freezes over) no one would see my scar. It's kind of a bummer because it could be a great conversation starter.
The subject of scars even takes me back to the night before our embryo transfer. I was watching The Replacements on TV while trying to "talk myself down" to administer the shots. There's a great line from the movie that comes to mind. The Quarterback is in a huddle trying to say something inspirational to his teammates before a win or lose play of the game. What he comes up with is . . ."Pain heals, Chicks dig scars... Glory lasts forever".
Well, the pain is gone . . . I'll have to get back to you on the other two! ;)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
As of now the "Wonder Twins Complete Journey" starts at our positive home pregnancy test and ends with me in my hospital gown, going in for my C-section. Enjoy!*
*For those of you that are other surrogates carrying twins, don't let my belly scare you . . . I can get big! :)
Friday, November 12, 2010
I can't believe it's already been one month since Gideon and Harper were born. I have a feeling my last 4 weeks have been completely different from N and D's . . . just as it was different than George and Sanj's first month.
I have been losing weight and they have been losing sleep. I have been trying to get my life "back to normal" and their "normal" has changed forever.
For me, it's been a hard getting things "back to normal" this time around. Being on bed rest for several weeks was great because the babies stayed in for almost 38 weeks and helped my swelling come down but boy did it SUCK! It's almost impossible to take care of 3 kids and a business while on bed rest. Thankfully, my mom came up again (like last time) for a few weeks to help out. I was able to drive to doctors appointments, so Tuesdays and Fridays were a dream. I would actually do my hair and make-up because I had someplace to go . . . well, usually I would. I guess the one day STAR Magazine decided to take a picture of me (for an article that came out in an early November issue) I had neither my hair nor my make-up done. Luckily, the article was very nice but the picture, well, I guess it could've been worse . . . I could've been bending over or picking my nose. I even had several customers tell me they couldn't believe that was a picture of me, because "I'm so pretty in person" . . . LOL . . . yeah, usually I'm photogenic too, but what are you gonna do?! But I digress . . .
Once I got home from the hospital, I wanted things to go back to normal (after weeks of doing nothing) but recovering from surgery doesn't quite make that an option. So for the last few weeks, I've been taking it easy, trying not to re-open my "baby wound" and longing for the day I can lift heavy things at work and re-join the Gym. I have a 2-4 more weeks until that can happen, but I know it's coming and that makes me happy.
I also rejoined Facebook, for sanity's sake. I thought it best to dump my Facebook back in August, after the news of my IPs expecting leaked. It was hard enough not telling anyone about who my Intended Parents were, but with all the coincidences piling up (surrogacy, twins, October due date, Disneyland trip) . . . it became impossible. Friends would ask, "Are you their Surrogate" or "I think I know who your IP's are . . . am I right?" I would just email/text/say back, "How cool would that be?" It has been great to get back on and interact with everyone. I really missed seeing what all my friends were up to.
Lastly, I am going to do a post about "The Blues" that a lot of Surrogates, including myself, go through after the birth . . . so there will be a bit more of "getting back to normal" in that post too. But for now, I have to sign off . . . have normal mom stuff to do- laundry, Doctor's appointments and Dinner to think about. I guess my NORMAL, for the most part, has returned.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Well, this morning I checked my email and the usual stuff was there . . . spam from Old Navy, emails from my former IPs, Facebook notifications and business stuff. Nestled in there was an email from Forbes entitled 2005. It was an email I wrote to myself from 2005. I love stuff like this. It's the same reason I'm one of those lame mom's who writes the full page letter that accompanies the Holiday Card. I love to look back and remind myself where I was, where I thought I was going, etc.
Thought I'd share it with you (in bold) and my comments about it (not bolded).
Greetings from your past. In the fall of 2005, you agreed to receive this message, which has been preserved in the Forbes.com E-Mail Time Capsule. For more details, visit the links below.
Here is the text of your message:
You are living in a one bedroom apt while you wait for your house in Gridley to be finished (next week). We look back on this time as the "dark weeks" . . . we had to move out of our first house 6 weeks before our current house was finished. We chose to rent a furnished apartment and thought, "how bad could it be?" Glass 1/2 empty- we went from 2500 sf to a little over 800 for 6 weeks . . . 1 bed, 1 bathroom, fold out couch and no cable. I missed the entire last season of Alias! Glass 1/2 full- went from 800sf to 3440sf . . . it was like moving from our living room to a palace! LOL CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE
Ruby is 4 and Preston is 2 1/2 and you just turned 31. CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE Oh, sweet memories . . . when Ruby didn't have an attitude and Preston was loving wearing his new "big boy underpants" . . . and I was so young, 31 sounds way better than 36!
Ricky and you just celebrated your 5 year wedding anniversary. The second 5 years went just as quickly as the first five!
Kids- debating about having another . . . . want one but sometimes think about how much easier it would be with 2. Obviously, we decided to go ahead and go for the #3 baby. Actually, this is around the time I applied to be a Surrogate. Then when Growing Generations called me about it, Ricky and I decided to finish our own family before we proceeded with the Surrogacy. So we put my online application on hold and got busy . . . less than a year later Sawyer was born. *Actually, according to this, I've birthed 5 babies in 5 years! Now of course, that includes 2 sets of twins, so it's more like 3 births in 5 years . . . .but it sounds much cooler the first way!
Jobs- working PT at American River College but just applied for FT at Chico State in the EOP program Still working Part Time at ARC but never even got an interview for the Chico State job . . . their loss! I can't feel too bad, I've actually gotten every job I've ever interviewed for . . . well, except for APPLE, which went on a hiring freeze (10 years ago) after my second phone interview for a Curriculum Developer postition. Man, I still think how different my life would have been if that freeze never happened and I had 10 years worth of Apple Stock. But things happen for a reason . . . maybe I wouldn't have had the time to be a Surrogate? Things worked out exactly as they should've, I know that much!
5'4" and about 1XX-1XXlbs depending Yes- I blocked it out . . . no one knows my weight!!! I'm still the same height and about 3-5 pounds heavier . . . not too bad for birthing 5 kids in 5 years! LOL
I'm glad I did this. Just wish I did the 10 year option too . . . maybe I did! Maybe in 2015 I'll get another one. I totally forgot I had done this but now that I think about it, I think I did do another one with encouraging words. Guess I'll have to wait and see!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Here's the thing . . . at 36 is when the insurance Growing Generations uses for Surrogacy goes up. Now, they aren't calling you old, they're just saying your uterus has seen better days, years, in fact. You can still be a Surrogate, it's just that your IPs will have to pay a little bit more to insure your old, worn uterus.
I'm not saying that I would for sure be a Surrogate for the third time but it's nice to know it's an option and I guess it is, as long as I don't waste time deciding. In my mind, if either set of my IPs asked for me to carry for them again, I would say YES. I have developed a wonderful relationship with both couples and think it would be cool to help provide another child for them. However, I know George and Sanj's family was complete with Natasha and Anjali and my other IPs have 3 week old twins . . . so I'm going to guess they aren't thinking of extending their family just yet. (Even though, as crazy as it seems, it would be something you'd need to start thinking about because the Surrogacy process is far from lightening fast).
Most of my friends and family have already asked me (even before I delivered) if this was the last time. I'd just tell them, I don't know, but it probably is. I think I'm in denial that my Surrogacy days are probably over, if I don't say I'm 100% not ever going to do this again, I don't have to think how sad that would be. Kind of like after giving birth to Sawyer, my youngest, I knew he was it for us but I didn't want to say it aloud, or that would make it true.
So for now, I'm not going to say never . . . but that it's pretty unlikely. I have dreams of a tummy tuck and it would be great not to be pregnant at my 20th High School reunion. Not to mention my uterus may go from "beautiful" to "she looks good for her age" . . . which I suppose is a lot better than "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
It was great to watch him be so at ease with himself after denying who he was for so long. I swear I teared up several times during the hour long program.
Now onto the Surrogacy part. He stated that he used a Surrogate and it was similar to a Private Adoption and implied that the surrogate didn't know who he was, that she just wanted to carry the babies and get on with her life and that a lot of Surrogates preferred it like this.
Hmmmmmm . . . I guess that type of Surrogate exists but I have yet to meet (online or in person) a Surrogate who didn't want to form some sort of friendship with the Intended Parents. This sounds a lot like the "Womb for Rent" views that drive me nuts. I can't imagine carrying babies for someone and never meet them, not share the months that their babies are growing, and not seeing their faces the very moment their children are born. I understand he's famous but it can be done.
Sure, certain parts may leak, but it is doable . . . it is possible to meet and form a friendship over the journey. Have them there for the embryo transfer, various ultrasounds and appointments, spend time with the surrogate and her family, etc. Surrogacy can already seem surreal for IPs . . . meet your surrogate, possibly see them a few times (if you don't live too far away) and then, BAM- you have babies. This must have been super Surreal for Ricky . . . interview your Surrogate on the phone and then get your twins months later. Who knows, maybe they talked on the phone or emailed or had a secret blog . . . something to share the information about the pregnancy. Or maybe I'm letting my personal feelings about Surrogate/IP relations get in the way and this woman really was perfectly fine carrying babies for a man she met over the phone . . . who just happened to be Ricky Martin. Stranger things have happened.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Here's Natasha, Anjali, George and Sanj . . . very adorable Siberian Tigers & Dads!
Here's one of Anjali with her Appah
and here's Natasha, stalking :)
And here's one of my own children
Hope everyone had a great Halloween, whether it was their first, second or 10th! :)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
My Favorite Post Delivery Question of All Time . . . (drumroll please)
"So When Are You Due?"
This is an excellent question- for someone who is still pregnant. However, for those of us who have already delivered, it is the biggest kick in the stomach . . . squishy, stretched out stomach.
With Surrogacy it's even more likely. Most people know not to ask, "When Are You Due?" when you have a baby in a stroller with you. With Surrogacy, there are no baby/babies to show what you were just up to- so chances are, someone is going to think the baby/babies haven't arrived yet. Bummer.
Now I know that most women will still look about 5-6 months pregnant after they deliver, that is pretty average . . . the baby/babies are gone, so is the placenta(s) and lots of fluid . . . but for some, including me, it will take months (or years) to not look pregnant. There are also women who will leave the hospital looking like they just went in to visit a friend who had a baby . . . I have some friends like that . . . there are lots of words I could use swirling around in my head, but these are friends, so I will just smile and be happy for their flat stomach. Yes, Happy, that's the word I'll go with.
Last time, after I gave birth to Natasha and Anjali, I ran into an older customer who asked when I was due. I was dumbfounded. Sure I had heard it before, but I was a good 26 pounds lighter than the last time she saw me and about 16 inches less around the waist. How in the hell could she not tell? I mean, come on! All I have to say is that it was good that she was in her 80's and fragile, because in my mind, the only thing I could think about was kicking that cane out from underneath her. LOL
Here I was about 2 weeks before the birth of the girls
Don't you think she would've noticed, even if the belly was, say, half it's size? I guess No.
Here I am the day of the birth of my second journey-
And here I am leaving the hospital, only down about 18 pounds at the time (can someone say 6 bags of fluid?)
Yes, I know, I look pregnant still . . . but not 9 months with twins! HELLO!
It hasn't been long since the birth, I'm already down 38 pounds as of today and yes, I still look pregnant. I'm going to hope will all my might that I make it through the next month without the dreaded question . . . but I'm certainly not going to bet money on it.
*** UPDATE- 2 weeks post birth and I'm down 47 pounds . . . which is weird because I only gained about 36 in the pregnancy . . . but I'll take it!!! ***
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
As an ALLY, I try to share my experiences with Surrogacy so that other women may think this is something they might consider doing as well. So far I know of at least five women who have applied to be or who have become Surrogates since meeting me or running into my blog. I hope that it spreads, that they may be a positive catalyst for others to become open about the idea of being a Surrogate too.
Who knows, 20 years from now, when my children talk about how their mom helped 2 different couples become families, maybe someone will decide Surrogacy is for them as well . . . . and become a surrogate for a man who remembers that as a teen, he didn't think it would get better . . .
. . . but it will, because I promise I will fight for your rights until the day I die.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Growing Generations, my agency, discusses such things through the entire process. It starts when you fill out your profile and you let them know your thoughts on several possible issues. They ask about your feelings on the termination of the pregnancy for whatever reason and they even ask about selective reduction . . . how you feel about going from 3 embryos to 2, 3 to 1, 2 to 1 etc.
The above questions, along with a lot of others, help my agency find a couple that have similar views of what I want my surrogacy journey to be . Both the IPs and Surrogate get to see each other's Profiles, so we can see what we agree on and things that may need to be discussed further. Now, I can't speak for other agencies or Surrogates who choose to go independent, but all this is discussed AGAIN at the actual match meeting. You need to discuss all of this so that everyone is on the same page and it is much easier to discuss what you would do/what is best for you (IPs and Surrogate) BEFORE you are pregnant and in the situation of possible termination/reduction.
But here's the thing, there is someone out there for everyone. I would never carry triplets but there are other Surrogates who would . . . so obviously, I would never match with someone who wouldn't reduce if we ended up with 4 or 3. At the same time, there are some Surrogates who would not participate in a termination for any reason. I, on the other hand am Pro-Choice and realize that the fetus(es) I carry are not mine, so Ultimately, it isn't my decision. Yes, it's my body, but it's their future child/children. What I may chose for my own family (if I found out my fetus had Down's Syndrome, Spinal Bifida,etc.) has nothing to do with someone else's child.
I have really lucked out that none of this has ever been an issue for me in my journey as a Surrogate or as a Mother. I can't say the same for some of my surro-friends.
One Surrogate I know had to reduce from 3 to 1 and it was really tough on her. Of course she complied, as all this was discussed numerous times before she was pregnant, but I'm positive that it affected her negatively as her blog told the story of someone dealing with something I never had to deal with . . . even including a little ticker that mentioned 2 angels going to heaven. When I saw that, the first thing I thought was, "Whoa! I hope her IP's don't read her blog" and my other thought was that she obviously was deeply affected by what had transpired and I hope I would never have to feel the way she was feeling.
Another surro-friend carried twins, one that was diagnosed with Down's Syndrome. They told the parents the baby wouldn't survive the pregnancy . . . she lived until she was 4. When I asked this surrogate her opinion about this new story she said, " . . . Now, having been there and done that . . . it absolutely, unequivocally, HAS to be the PARENT'S choice. This is a sacrifice we make as surrogates. We are not the parent." I couldn't agree more.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Without his work, Natasha and Anjali and the babies I am carrying now would not have been created, as well as about 4 million other babies world wide. So thank you!!!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
And here's a link to something Scotch wrote about his and Todd's Journey to Parenthood. CLICK HERE
Lastly, a teaser on Oprah- CLICK HERE.
I'll be DVRing it and will write comments later. Hoping it's great PR on Surrogacy!
***UPDATE- My comments on the Nightline Segment***
So, first thing is first . . . I actually really liked this segment on Nightline. A few reasons? Well, it dealt with my agency, gay fathers and a surrogate who isn't "down and out". Not to mention the person they had on to discuss the "other side" didn't come off as a total as*hole and make me want to throw something at the TV.
* I liked what Stuart, one of the CEO's of Growing Generations had to say. I thought he did a nice job, even discussing the adoption arguemnet that a lot of people bring up. However, if I can interject, and I know I've said this before, why don't people ask straight couples who are having babies why they didn't adopt?
* Kristy, the surrogate, is a teacher, married, with 3 of her own children. Do you know what that means? She has a College Education, makes decent money without Surrogacy and Nightline even commented about how she wanted to work with a gay couple. Were we seperated at birth? LOL Although, I did find it funny they mentioned that Growing Generations' Surrogates make around $30,000 . . . let me tell you, first time surrogates with a singleton or twins don't receive that in compensation, even a second time surrogate with singleton wouldn't be compensated $30,000. But I think it's safe to say that most Women at Growing Generations are Surrogates for other reasons besides the compensation.
And I loved how the IPs talked about how Kristy and her family are part of their family and will be forever . . . see, it's not just George, Sanj and my family!
*Glenn Stanton from Focus on The Family, which is an anti-gay organization, seemed to be the counter point of the segment. However, he either didn't communicate well or parts of what he said were cut in the editing room because the statements he made could've really been taken either way. It wasn't overt hate or yelling and since I know it was supposed to be the anti-gay parenting/surrogacy view, I was a bit confused. I felt that the way I interpreted what he said wasn't all that negative. The only really "in your face" part was when they showed a clip of several of their posters/handouts . . . "You don't have to be Gay" "Preventing Homosexuality," etc.
He mentions the re-writing of the human script on what makes a family . . . is that supposed to be negative? There are lots of things that need to be revised through time (i.e. who has the right to vote? who has the right to marry?) Glenn says, "Now, we're saying that parenting is not about being male and female but about any grouping of adults who have a good heart and the love towards the child. And that is a radical, humanly radical statement." Not sure what makes parents who "have a good heart and love towards the child" a radical statment- to me seems to be a no-brainer. Of course, he's talking about the fact that the parents are the same gender as radical . . . eh?? I don't see it. :)
Oh- and when I went to Focus on the Family's website, their tagline is "Helping Families Thrive", but since they don't want all families to thrive, only straight ones (with a mom and a dad) perhaps they should revise their tagline . . . . how about "Helping Straight Married Families Thrive" or something to that tune?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The other one I love is a skit Amy Poehler did on SNL called "I'm no Angel" . . . where she's pregnant and hanging out at a bar, with a little dance sequence in it. LOVE IT but can never find it online. *sigh*
Monday, September 13, 2010
First of all, my friend Ashley (who I referred to Growing Generations) had her transfer and found out a few days ago her Beta Test was positive! Yeah! She'll have her ultrasound soon to confirm the pregnancy is continuing and to see if there's one or two.
My other surro friend Ashley (who I've mentioned on my blog before) gave birth to her surro triplets and everyone is doing well.
To read her birth story, see pictures of some huge almost 32 week triplet princesses click HERE!
I can't imagine triplets- whoa!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
These are few of my favorite things, about Surrogacy
* Reading the Profile of the Intended Parents . . . how they met, describing each other (for George and Sanj I loved reading about their wedding!)
* Having a great Match Meeting- you leave just knowing this is the Couple you're going to help turn into a Family.
* The Excitement when your meds arrive . . . something is finally happening!
* Telling the IPs that you're pregnant . . . and that your "high number" may mean twins! (I'm 2 for 2 on this one!)
* Witnessing the IPs hear the heart beat or see their embryos/fetus' on the ultrasound for the first time.
* Being able to Blog about my experiences.
* Seeing how excited your Intended Parents are . . . and how nervous they get as you approach the due date.
* Finding out what the genders are . . . hearing the Ultrasound Tech now call them the IP's son(s) or daughter(s) . . .
* Meeting Other Surrogates who "totally get it" (Thank you Facebook and other Blogs!)
* Feeling that you are making a difference in several people's lives. including your own.
* Seeing people's reactions when I tell them I'm a surrogate- and the conversation that follows.
* Having the IPs meet and spend time with my kids- that way they get to know me better and also my kids can see, first hand, that two men can love each other and have a family if they wish.
* Being able to educate people on Surrogacy (answering questions, blogging, etc.)
* The look on the Parent's faces in the delivery room as their child/children make their entrance.
* The tears shed by the grandma and other family members moments and days past the birth . . . including the hugs and thank you's for helping make their sons the parents they deserve to be.
* Having my kids meet the babies in the hospital . . . a great lesson on giving and what makes a family. Plus, Ruby loves holding babies! :)
* Being able to go home and not raise additional kids :) - i.e. wake up for feedings, changing diapers, etc.
* Getting email and phone call updates on how things are going, including pictures and visiting my surro- families . . . . whether it be for days, weeks, months or years.
* Knowing that even after the birth, we will always be a part of each other lives, even if just by a memory of the wonderful and exciting year (or more) that we grew a family.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
For now, I'll continue to talk about surrogacy and hope my blog spreads by word of mouth. So if you enjoy it, feel free to pass it on!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Getting your Meds! Of course I hate taking all the injections, I'm not big on shots at all. Remember back to my first time? But there is a certain excitement you get when your FedEx box full of needles, hormones, alcohol swabs, band aids, etc. arrives. It's a lot like Back to School Shopping. Years ago, I'd take all my stuff out and lay it out in front of me. I'd anxiously unwrap everything and take the price tags off. Put all the school supplies in my new back pack- ahhhh so fun! I'm sure you can see the organization of the 12+ weeks of shots is very similar!
I remember in my first journey, I had my Meds shipped to my work (it had to be signed for) and couldn't wait to get home that night. I tore open my box and layed it all out on the table. Separated everything, made sure to read all the directions and proceeded to organize it by bag. By my second journey I had happened upon another surrogates blog and she had a picture of how she organized her Meds. I LOVED IT! I knew that was exactly what I was going to do the next time around. It was organized and even better I could daydream about getting my Meds . . . laying them out . . . and then putting them in my brand new organizer. I'm almost getting goosebumps reliving it all now! LOL
Well, here it is . . . a Surrogates "Back to School" Shopping if you will
All of my Surrogate readers are going to relate, I'm sure. The rest of you, just take my word for it. I know that when any of my Facebook Surrogate friends mentions her Meds arrived, there seems to be quite the celebration and remembrance by the rest of us. Sure, part of it is the Back to School organization fun but the other is the excitement of your journey really getting started. It could have been weeks or even months since you applied to be a surrogate, got screened, got matched, etc . . . but your Meds arriving really shows that soon, you will be helping create a family . . . and that is WAY COOLER than a bunch of graph paper, pencil sharpeners and high lighters!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
If Your not attached to them then why not let them be a family without you? (Does the doctor from your own children births still hang around in your family pictures?)
And why all the pictures anyway? Are you going to be an AUNT to them???
Seems funny to me!!!
8/3/10 10:51 PM
To which I replied in the Comments Section:
Kelly's Uterus said...
Anonymous- If it seems funny to you I'm assuming you haven't followed our journey from the beginning and just stumbled upon this or a few posts.
When I gave birth to their girls, I was invited to their future wedding . . . I get emails and phone calls from George and Sanj and get invited over often. And yes, actually (smart ass) I am going to be an Aunt- at least that is what George and Sanj would like. If George and Sanj wanted to be a family without me, I would think they would sever contact. I was told in our match meeting that they wanted a relationship that went past the birth and things haven't changed.
Why so many pictures? Well, because I have lots of followers who would love to see how the girls are growing and have been with our journey since March of 2008.
Oh, and for the record Dr. Task and Dr. Knight don't hang around in my family pictures because they were my doctor and nothing more . . . I saw them once a month for 10 minutes . . . they did not become friends and they certainly didn't put their life in danger to help me create a family. I hope this answers your questions
8/3/10 11:12 PM
Now I was a little mad when I read this although it was very obvious to me that they are not a regular follower or didn't take the time to read the last 2 years of posts because if he/she had, they would see that the relationship I have with George and Sanj is a bit different than some other surros have with their Intended Parents. I sent George and Sanj a copy of the comment and my reply and they also thought it was ridiculous. I also reminded them that if/when it ever comes up that they need me to not be around as much, to let me know and I will gladly follow their wishes . . . to which they joked that they would, " . . . sooner tire of each first, silly! . . ." LOL
George even sent me an email about how he would've responded if he was me (the surrogate):
"Dear Anonymous, thanks for your comment and your interest in my writing. Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) is bringing so many wonderful things to so many people who otherwise wouldn't be able to have families. I am honoured to play my part in all of this.
Different surrogates are motivated in different ways, and as you can tell from my articles, I want to help the world. I had no idea that my first time as a surrogate would not only fulfill that dream, but also introduce me to a couple of people that I wanted as friends. And I can say on behalf of Sanj & George they feel the same way.
The whole process could have been at arms-length, more of a transaction. Instead, I have more people in my life that I care about, and they do too. Our families have become close. I don't want to imply that this happens to all surrogates and to all intended parents. It may be the exception. But no matter how you meet new people and are drawn to them as friends and family, it is a blessing."
And it's comments like this from George and Sanj that tell me that the relationship our "extended" family has is exactly how we want it to be. If Anonymous wants to think it "seems funny" or thinks I should "leave them alone to be a family" he/she obviously hasn't had a powerful relationship like ours and that saddens me.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Here's THE LINK to my picture but bigger
Stacie and Heather's photos turned out Great too!
They're doing another photo shoot in Seattle in August, part of me wants to go since my belly will be even bigger, but it's the same weekend as an important clothing buying event for my store. Oh well :(
Seeing my picture makes me daydream about taking a Creative Group shot with both my sets of IPs and their children, with me in the middle. How AWESOME would that be?!!
The next step . . . I have to write my Why I Posed blog, but I'm pregnant and tired, so I'll do that later.
Here's Anjali laughing
and here's Natasha taking some pictures on Appah's iphone
and here are two more of the cutest surro girlie twins around
I'm loving the piggy tails by the way!!!! ADORABLE!!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Some of my favorites so far-
* Preston (my 7 year old) . . . "Wow Mom, your belly is like Kung Fu Panda's belly."
* Sawyer (my 3 year old) when he ran into my belly in the hallway . . . "Those babies hit me."
* Ruby (was 7 years at the time) when she was answering a classmate who told her 2 men can't have babies . . . "What do you mean? George and Sanj are having babies."
* Preston (7 yrs) when a stranger was helping me move a box into the back of my van at Sam's Club . . . "My mom has 2 babies in her belly . . . . but they aren’t ours . . . ”
* A little girl at Preston's dance class (age 7yr) . . . "So, those babies aren't yours? You aren't keeping them? . . . "You don't like them or something?"
* The same little girl when she saw me wearing my bellybuds . . . "They can hear Music? Cool. . . . (then whispering) Can they hear me right now?"
* Ruby (my 8 year old daughter) when she found out my IP's had recorded children's stories on the bellybuds and when I told her no . . . "Ohhhhh, Can I listen to the stories? . . . . But I don't want to read them myself."
Monday, June 28, 2010
Here we are in our shirts at the Parade- you can see the front and the back said "Proud Gestational Surrogate for Growing Generations" with their logo on it
And Sanj even joined us for the festivities Sunday!
Some of the yummy places we ended up eating at:
House of Nanking on Kearny
*just a warning, the more pregnant you are, the more difficult to find comfortable seating. They really pack you in there- I think the person next to me got to know me (and my uterus) very well . . . but the food was marvelous!
SPQR on Fillmore
* not to be confused with the neighborhood a few blocks down ( a bit iffy) . . . where we almost got out of the cab and just knew (call it gut feeling) it would not end well. LOL Here we are at the correct location
Aliotos at the Wharf
*this is my favorite restaurant in San Francisco . . . had my college graduation dinner and 30th birthday (surprise dinner with friends) there. So GOOD!!!
Hot Cookie Castro Street
*If you're in the Castro, Hot Cookie is a must! The macaroons are soooooooo yummy and the staff is great. However, if you're there around midnight on the Saturday night of Pride weekend- be ready for quite the crowd.
We went to Wicked Friday night. It was good. I LOVED the story but Elpheba (or whoever played her that night) . . . . well, she had her moments. It just made me wish I would've seen it with Indina Menzel, that's all. We also stopped by Walgreens on the walk back to the hotel to pick up a pregnancy test for Stacie, who had her transfer a few days before . . . and there was a very faded positive line. Then on Saturday and Sunday she retested and the positive line got even darker each time! YEAH!!!
I was so excited because the NOH8 Campaign was doing an Open Photo Shoot at the W hotel. I've been wanting to do this for a while, so luckily Stacie and Heather wanted to go too. I only wished I would've been farther along, so there was a HUGE Belly in the picture, but my current belly will have to do :) Once I get the picture, I'll post it. But for now, here's just a group pic we took in line
and then when I got to the front they gave me a logo on my face (and duck tape over mouth of course) and another logo once they heard my story. Here's just the belly with both stickers . . .
Once I get my actual professional picture, I'll write a blog about why I posed. Here's what someone else said (it touched me deeply) on why their family posed. CLICK HERE
Oh- and here was one of my favorite posters from this weekend
UPDATE- Stacie had her blood test and she is indeed pregnant for her second Surrogate Journey! Congrats to her Intended Parents!!!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Gary and Tony Have a Baby
I was quite impressed with the piece and I'm hoping that a lot of people who have been interested in learning more on Gay Parenting and Surrogacy watched it too. Of course I put the link and description on my Facebook Page, so others that were unaware about the program could watch/record it if they were interested. I actually got the link from my Dad, who also posted it on Facebook, with the comment, "If you're still against allowing loving, intelligent, successful gay couples to parent, then you either have never seen the unspeakable child abuse that heterosexual couples regularly do or you are beyond narrow minded & possibly a full blown bigot." God, I love my dad!
Anyway, I don't have the time to critique the whole piece but I did want to touch on a few parts that bothered me . . .
* Soledad O'Brien asked them at some point why not just adopt . . . like adoption is something that is easy and readily available to gay parents. Not only that, but why are gay men always asked this but never once in my own three pregnancies, did anyone ever ask me why we wanted our own kids vs adoption?
* My biggest issue is always about Positive PR on Surrogacy. Even though, it wasn't overtly negative, like most TV programs on Surrogacy, I still wasn't 100% satisfied. I guess I won't ever be unless it's about me or some of my close surrogate friends who had a similar journey as me. The part that got me the most is when the surrogate discussed how she did have thoughts of keeping the baby and how she thought of him on a daily basis still. Now I know this was her feelings but there are plenty of surrogates out there that don't have those feelings, including me.
To Clarify- NEVER, EVER, NEVER did I think about keeping Natasha and Anjali. They weren't mine. I have three of my own. I don't want anymore kids hence the vasectomy (sorry to out you honey). And I do not think of them on a daily basis. When I go visit George, Sanj and the girls it's more to see how the girls are growing up and spend hours with GEORGE & SANJ. That is who I have a bond with, not the girls, really. It makes me want to email my new IPs and let them know, if they saw the show, they won't have to worry about that at all with me. I don't want to sound cold but I'm helping make a family, not tear one apart!
Of course there was the quick statement of the surrogate getting $30,000. She must be with a very generous agency because, with Growing Generations, you wouldn't receive that much for your participation in a single baby pregnancy until your third surrogacy journey and that was her first time. I remember seeing agencys that paid more but for me, I wanted to work with an agency in California that dealt with gay families, regardless with what they paid.
Another issue I had was that the surrogate only shared the fact that the parents were gay with some family members. She had some family who didn't agree. Well, neither do my Grandparents but I see it as a teachable moment (the teacher in me). None of my family were surprised by my desire to help two men create a family. Why? Because they know me and my passions, which include fighting for equality.
Oh and by the way- I didn't delete the program because I thought it would be great for my kids to see too. I love how CNN has a Parent and Teacher Discussion Guide available. This is great for those that want to share it with their kids or students and talk openly about it. Perhaps I'll show it in my class next semester.