Thursday, July 16, 2009
How to Remember . . .
I've been thinking for months what I would like to do to memorialize my surrogate journey. Of course I have this blog which will be around years after I stop writing it but I'm thinking of something else . . . . something I can glance at and the memories will come pouring back, even 20 years from now.
While brainstorming options, several great and not so great ideas emerged . . . .
1. Tattoo? Yes, I already have 2 tattoos that remind me of other times in my life. I have played around with the idea of getting another for the last 15 years, but haven't. I'm not talking about a tat that has all the names and birth dates listed like this one or the one pictured above. Can you imagine, if I got one like the flip flop one across my back? It would look like a closet or shoe store with all the kids I will have given birth to! I HAVE thought of doing some sort of flower, where each "initial" petal symbolizes the times I've given birth. Three for my own kids, one for Natasha and Anjali and one for whoever is born this next time. Then I thought . . . haven't I hurt enough? Between delivering Ruby with no drugs, healing my vagina from Preston, Sawyer and Ruby and a c-section for Natasha and Anjali . . . is this option making me seem like a glutton for punishment? Some may even venture to say a Masochist?
2. Framed Caricature ?- Just kidding, but how funny would that be . . . you come in my house and hanging on the wall is something like this. But they can all be hanging out in my uterus- "it's a party y'all"! Oh, the looks on my kids faces when they're 16 and bring home their dates . . . "is that your mom's, oh nevermind" . . . on second thought?
3. Plant some trees? I have thought about this option since Ruby was born. I love the idea, but what if we move again? If I would have done this with my own kids, Ruby's tree would be at the townhouse we rented in the Bay Area, Preston's tree would be at the first house we bought in Sacramento, and only Sawyer's tree would be at our current house. I guess I could plant 6 or 7 trees at once but that can get pricey if we buy trees that we actually want in our front of backyard.
4. Jewelry?- we've got a winner!
I received a beautiful Tiffany's Bracelet with a Mom Heart Charm Lock two years ago for Mother's Day. I really love that bracelet except during my surrogacy there was an "accident". I'm not sure what happened, but somehow my Mom charm lock did not live up to it's name . . . it unlocked and fell off my bracelet. I was devasted. I called the Medical Office I was just at hoping someone found it, but no one had turned it in.
Of course not, right? It said Tiffany's on it, so I figured it was long gone the moment I noticed it wasn't dangling from my bracelet anymore. It's like me calling saying, "I dropped three One Hundred Dollar Bills in your office today. I don't suppose anyone turned it in"? Duh! I still envision someone's mom from that office gushing over the beautiful lock charm she received as a present. My only solace is that I also envision this mother wondering how in the heck it unlocked and lost her "new" mom lock charm.
* By the way, I did call and speak with someone at Tiffany's. Customer service said I was welcome to purchase another Mom lock and have it sautered closed on my bracelet. Perhaps they should have mentioned this option when my family bought it for me (but I digress . . .)
So now, I have the bracelet but no charm lock. Then, before Mother's Day this year, Tiffany's sent us another catalog with lots of expensive jewlery we could buy and have fall off. But that's when I saw them. They make other "locks" that are initals and numbers . . and it came to me. I can purchase (not all at once) my own children's initals R, P and S. Then, I will purchase the number 2 charm lock, to symbolize Anjali and Natasha. Lastly, I'll purchase either the 1 or another 2 lock charm to symbolize my second surrogacy journey. The 1 if it's a singleton pregnancy or the 2 if it ends up being another set of twins. Of course the major part of this plan, besides funding the purchase of all these locks is to actually have them sautered shut on my bracelet this time.
*Other variations that would help me not have to buy so many lock charms . . . I could get another Mom Charm for my 3 kids and have their initials engraved on the back and/or I can get a different shapped charm and have "Surrogate Mom" or "Stork" engraved on it . . . but I do like the numbers too. We'll see if this ever happens, but it is a thought.
Here's one thing I did in 12/2010 to remember my journeys!