Sunday, September 21, 2008

Comments from Strangers

Now that I'm REALLY showing I'm starting to get lots of comments from Strangers . . . which then puts me in a weird position of smiling and going with it or some level of disclosure (without feeling like a liar or disclosing too much).

When I'm out with all my kids- 2, 5 and 7 next month I get the old, "Wow you have your hands full" or the close "You are going to have your hands full" comment. I got these same comments when Ruby was almost 2 and Preston was about to be born . . . oh, to be able to time travel, I could go back and say, "This is nothing, wait until Fall of 2008, you'll be speechless!"

The usual progression of questions . . .

"Wow, when are you due?"
I usually answer December 15th but they think more like November since it's twins and I tend to deliver early anyway.

Next is usually either:
"Twins?" or "How many kids do you have already?"

Which then leads to a few possibilities . . . .
"Wow, 5 kids?" or "Twins, are you going to dress them alike?"

Which then goes to (depending on how much disclosure) . . . .
"What do you mean they aren't yours?" or "I don't think I could do that." or "That's amazing, what a great friend you are." or even, "I've always heard of people who are surrogates but never met one in person." (I always smile at this one, like I'm a unicorn or the tooth fairy).

From there- people (strangers, not friends or most acquaintances) either move on, talk more about it superficially or worse case scenario . . . there are some who want to know every personal detail (and will ask as if it's their right to know) . . . "Who are the Parents?", "What do they do?", "How come they can't get pregnant?" (I guess never hearing about this little thing called Doctor Patient privilege), "Is it her egg and his sperm?" (one of my favorites, most of you know why) . . . this list can go on but I think you get the point I'm trying to make. That point being, it can be hard to discuss my surrogacy (with the goal of educating people) and at the same time protect the privacy of the Intended Parents and my family. It was one of the reasons I started the blog, besides keeping the Intended Parents friends and family in the loop, I can send people to it to answer some questions and not have to get into the downward spiral of some conversations.

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