Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Favorite Post Delivery Question of All Time

Now this hasn't happened yet, but I know, eventually it will, because with me, it always does.

My Favorite Post Delivery Question of All Time . . . (drumroll please)

"So When Are You Due?"
This is an excellent question- for someone who is still pregnant. However, for those of us who have already delivered, it is the biggest kick in the stomach . . . squishy, stretched out stomach.

With Surrogacy it's even more likely. Most people know not to ask, "When Are You Due?" when you have a baby in a stroller with you. With Surrogacy, there are no baby/babies to show what you were just up to- so chances are, someone is going to think the baby/babies haven't arrived yet. Bummer.

Now I know that most women will still look about 5-6 months pregnant after they deliver, that is pretty average . . . the baby/babies are gone, so is the placenta(s) and lots of fluid . . . but for some, including me, it will take months (or years) to not look pregnant. There are also women who will leave the hospital looking like they just went in to visit a friend who had a baby . . . I have some friends like that . . . there are lots of words I could use swirling around in my head, but these are friends, so I will just smile and be happy for their flat stomach. Yes, Happy, that's the word I'll go with.

Last time, after I gave birth to Natasha and Anjali, I ran into an older customer who asked when I was due. I was dumbfounded. Sure I had heard it before, but I was a good 26 pounds lighter than the last time she saw me and about 16 inches less around the waist. How in the hell could she not tell? I mean, come on! All I have to say is that it was good that she was in her 80's and fragile, because in my mind, the only thing I could think about was kicking that cane out from underneath her. LOL

Here I was about 2 weeks before the birth of the girls

Don't you think she would've noticed, even if the belly was, say, half it's size? I guess No.

Here I am the day of the birth of my second journey-

And here I am leaving the hospital, only down about 18 pounds at the time (can someone say 6 bags of fluid?)
Yes, I know, I look pregnant still . . . but not 9 months with twins! HELLO!

It hasn't been long since the birth, I'm already down 38 pounds as of today and yes, I still look pregnant. I'm going to hope will all my might that I make it through the next month without the dreaded question . . . but I'm certainly not going to bet money on it.

*** UPDATE- 2 weeks post birth and I'm down 47 pounds . . . which is weird because I only gained about 36 in the pregnancy . . . but I'll take it!!! ***


Mommy with Many Gifts said...

I can't tell you enough how much I feel your pain!! It absolutely sucks sometimes. After having my boys, it took months to lose the baby bump. The worst thing that happened to me, was when I was with my 4 month old baby and someone still asked when I was due!! And now, after having the surro triplets, it sucks even worse because I don't have a baby with me to stop people from asking that question. I feel like getting a shirt made that says, "Don't ask... I just had triplets!!" And it's not like I'm not losing weight either. I just about lost all of my pregnancy weight, but that stupid bump is still there!! I have found myself even counting the days since someone has last asked when my "due date" was... it's been over a week now, so I'm hoping everyone keeps their mouths shut!!

BTW, have you heard of the Belly Bandit? It made such a difference for me and I recommend it to everyone.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the birth of the twins! Ugh, someone asked me that question when my son was a few weeks old and with me. Looking forward to reading about your second journey someday! You look great in both photos.

Heather said...

You look so happy - especially in your most recent pictures!! I can tell you that I was the friend you needed to be happy for with my first child. With #2 - the first surro I was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes the day I was released from the hospital. With #2 - second surro I squeezed into the pre-pregnancy clothes at the bris - 8 days after giving birth. Since those first 3 kids it has been MONTHS (ok, years....) since I have fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I agree though - that question is a painful one.
As far as you are concerned - If they saw you BEFORE this delivery and saw you now - I give you permission to kick any cane!! You look great - I am sure down 30# helps even more, but that belly just doesn't disappear! Not sure how big your twins were, but my 10# kid destroyed my belly!

Mickey said...

It's a simple fact that you never EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER ask a woman if she's pregnant or when is she due unless you are 100% that she is currently pregnant.

My husband learnt it the hard way with one of our neighbours. We didn't talk them much since...!

MrsKnight said...

I'm not kidding.... we attended a family BBQ the DAY AFTER the birth of our third child... WITH BABY, my husband's grandfather (yes, he's old) asked him if I was pregnant. Someone was CLEARLY not fully aware of their surroundings.

I always put on an extra 20 lbs in my butt and thighs, so there's NO HOPE of returning home slim and trim. But this time I'm getting myself a postpartum GIRDLE. In some asian cultures it is (or was) traditional to bind mommies abdomen with cloth to bring everything more quickly back to shape. Some people might think this is barbaric or unnatural or sexist or... whatever -- I think it's a great idea.

Heidi said...

Yay! Congrats to you! I must admit that I learned the hard way about that dreaded question, but in my defense, I was only 16 and didn't have a clue. Never again! I know all about the after baby jelly belly, and I too have been asked the question. With all the hormones, I was almost in tears. Fun stuff!

JewelieP said...

You look fabulous, and don't you forget it! Thank you for continuing to make me smile with your blog. I just love it!