The Wonder Twins reached the 2 month mark yesterday. They are doing well and getting bigger. I sent them the cutest Elf outfits for Christmas and am counting the days until I get the pictures of them wearing them- I'm also counting the days until my trip down there next month.
It feels like more than 8 weeks since I gave birth to Gid and Harper. Now that I'm back to work I get asked (over and over) if I plan on being a Surrogate for the third time. Actually, this question usually starts even before I've given birth. I think I'm being asked even more this time around for some reason.
So will I? I don't know. I've thought about it the whole time. Twenty years ago when I thought about being a surrogate, I certainly didn't think I'd do it more than once. A few months into my first journey I thought I would do it a second time and Natasha and Anjali's birth sealed the deal. So when Growing Generations asked me a few weeks later if I saw myself doing this again, I told them Yes, but that I wanted a several months of not being pregnant. A few months later I was matched and my second journey began. Even back then I thought about a third journey. Would that be crazy? What would people say? Would I be pressing my luck? Would I be too old by then?
My answer is, I don't know, because I really don't know. I would LOVE to go round three . . . there are couples out there who need help and I enjoy being pregnant but I'm not sure how everyone would react. I'm not usually a person who cares what people think but I have to admit, a third surrogacy might push some of my family and in-laws over the edge. However, they know me well, so I'm sure they realize this is something I'm thinking about.
I may do a Positive/Negative chart post, so you can see exactly how Rick and I are coming to our decision but for now I know if I do go Round #3, I may need to change it up a bit. A friend of mine who is also a Surrogate asked to be matched with a straight international couple. That way it would be a totally different journey, so it wouldn't take away anything from her first journey. Well, even though my second journey was also for gay men, it was TOTALLY different . . . I think most of you know why.
I see my matches like my children. I have 3 kids. They are all different but I love them the same. I remember when I was pregnant with Preston (my #2 bio) I thought, is there anyway I could love him as much as Ruby? And I did. I love my #3 bio kid Sawyer too. And my Intended Parents are the same. I remember after Growing Generations approached me about being a Surrogate again. I was thinking, Would I feel the same about them as George and Sanj . . . it didn't seem possible. But I found out that my heart was big enough for the 4 of them, and luckily, so was my uterus :)
Now, I have been asked by Growing Generations if I'd be interested in being a Surrogate a third time. Just like last time (and the time before) they already have an idea of a great match for me. They've done a great job matching me so far, so I trust that this new couple they have in mind would be great too. There's just one "catch" . . . it's a straight couple. **crickets** I know, I was surprised as well. This is not something I've really thought about before. In all honesty, I haven't thought about it too much until now, well besides debating if my Uterus was Heterophobic. But I've been having some interesting conversations with myself (again, another post for later). Last time I felt a little like I was "cheating" on George and Sanj. With this opportunity, would I be "cheating" on Gay men everywhere?! Who knows, it may just be the different type of Journey I need . . . we'll see.
In Conclusion, I have a lot of thinking to do. Do I help one more family or do I retire? I know one thing for sure . . . I don't want to be the Brett Favre of Surrogacy. Wait, let me clarify. I don't mean I'm going to text someone a picture of my uterus . . . I mean I don't want to keep going back and forth about my decision. I want to make an educated decision and stick with it.
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8 comments:
I say do it!! One last time. Know it's your last going in to it. Enjoy it. Experience surrogacy with a straight couple. Embrace it. :)
All the very best with what ever it is that you decide. I'm anxious to find out!!
I just had to comment on how you're surro birthday tags were all 2's today.
Natasha & Anjali 2 years, 2 weeks & 2 days old
Gideon & Harper 2 months and 2 days old
How sweet!
I think that is amazing that you are thinking of a 3rd round already!
I say go for it! (not that it means anything lol) But for sure! if you feel in your heart and uterus you can do it, then do it:)
And as for the straight couple....That's hard, because knowing how much you care and fight for gay rights, surrogacy is just another way for you to stand up for what you believe in..
But on the other hand, so many straight couples need help in this department too and it would give you a totally different experience. Can't wait to see what you decide:)
Gay to straight is TOTALLY different, but not necessarily bad. Just different. ....and just what I needed!
Can't wait to hear where your hear leads you!!
Now this is exciting news!!! I am so happy that you are going to see the new twins next month... how exciting! And I am right there with you, retire or not? Only you can make this decision, but I really think you should. And yes, your family will think you are nuts, but that's what makes you so brave and strong. And a heterosexual couple?!? Now, I NEVER thought that would be you, but I think that would be the greatest experience after the two journeys you already had. It doesn't hurt to look into it and if the feelings seem right then you know you were meant to do it. I can't wait to hear the outcome of your decision.
@Ramona- that is cool! Thanks for pointing it out!!
I think what you are doing is the coolest thing ever. I only wish I was young enough to do it myself. I really enjoyed reading your blog and finally figured out who the latest babies belong too. Way cool
I just wanted to say that I admire your points of view regarding life, kids, surrogacy and gay rights. The world needs more people like you! I think you should know that you have done a wonderful thing (twice) and thanks to you there are 2 beautiful families that wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you and your uterus (of course!). Whatever you decide to do at the end should make you feel in peace and satisfied with yourself.
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