No, I'm not revealing who my new IPs are (that always happens after the birth). . . I just wanted to write a little post on the program I watched on CNN tonight:
Gary and Tony Have a Baby
I was quite impressed with the piece and I'm hoping that a lot of people who have been interested in learning more on Gay Parenting and Surrogacy watched it too. Of course I put the link and description on my Facebook Page, so others that were unaware about the program could watch/record it if they were interested. I actually got the link from my Dad, who also posted it on Facebook, with the comment, "If you're still against allowing loving, intelligent, successful gay couples to parent, then you either have never seen the unspeakable child abuse that heterosexual couples regularly do or you are beyond narrow minded & possibly a full blown bigot." God, I love my dad!
Anyway, I don't have the time to critique the whole piece but I did want to touch on a few parts that bothered me . . .
* Soledad O'Brien asked them at some point why not just adopt . . . like adoption is something that is easy and readily available to gay parents. Not only that, but why are gay men always asked this but never once in my own three pregnancies, did anyone ever ask me why we wanted our own kids vs adoption?
* My biggest issue is always about Positive PR on Surrogacy. Even though, it wasn't overtly negative, like most TV programs on Surrogacy, I still wasn't 100% satisfied. I guess I won't ever be unless it's about me or some of my close surrogate friends who had a similar journey as me. The part that got me the most is when the surrogate discussed how she did have thoughts of keeping the baby and how she thought of him on a daily basis still. Now I know this was her feelings but there are plenty of surrogates out there that don't have those feelings, including me.
To Clarify- NEVER, EVER, NEVER did I think about keeping Natasha and Anjali. They weren't mine. I have three of my own. I don't want anymore kids hence the vasectomy (sorry to out you honey). And I do not think of them on a daily basis. When I go visit George, Sanj and the girls it's more to see how the girls are growing up and spend hours with GEORGE & SANJ. That is who I have a bond with, not the girls, really. It makes me want to email my new IPs and let them know, if they saw the show, they won't have to worry about that at all with me. I don't want to sound cold but I'm helping make a family, not tear one apart!
Of course there was the quick statement of the surrogate getting $30,000. She must be with a very generous agency because, with Growing Generations, you wouldn't receive that much for your participation in a single baby pregnancy until your third surrogacy journey and that was her first time. I remember seeing agencys that paid more but for me, I wanted to work with an agency in California that dealt with gay families, regardless with what they paid.
Another issue I had was that the surrogate only shared the fact that the parents were gay with some family members. She had some family who didn't agree. Well, neither do my Grandparents but I see it as a teachable moment (the teacher in me). None of my family were surprised by my desire to help two men create a family. Why? Because they know me and my passions, which include fighting for equality.
Oh and by the way- I didn't delete the program because I thought it would be great for my kids to see too. I love how CNN has a Parent and Teacher Discussion Guide available. This is great for those that want to share it with their kids or students and talk openly about it. Perhaps I'll show it in my class next semester.