Q & A Reviews along with new Q &A comming!

I've had several emails lately from prospective surrogates so I thought I'd highlight some of my Frequently Asked Questions throughout my pregnancy/post birth, including some new ones (which is taking me longer than I thought) . . . .

Q & A Part I from April 30, 2008 (one month after transfer).

Comments From Strangers from Sept 21, 2008 (third trimester).

Q & A Part 2 (originally labeled part 2 but really 3 if we count "Comments from Strangers" from December 12, 2008 (after birth).

My Magic Fountain!

I had to share this with everyone because I thought it was soooo funny.

So the other day I'm talking with my sister, Jess, about my current surrogacy journey and mentioned babies. She said, "babies?" and I explained that with IVF they usually transfer 2-3 embryos hoping that only one (or two) actually take, so that it could be "babies" again.

Then she said, "Your Uterus is like a Magic Fountain, you throw Hopes in there and Dreams Come True!" I thought that was great . . . so I immediately updated my Facebook Status and Twitter with it!

Ready for Temple . . . a year later

When I first saw these pictures, I just about squealed. My lips tingled with the thoughts of doing some raspberries on those tummies!


If you look to the right, you'll see the cute pic of Anjali and Natasha asleep, a year ago ready for temple.

Here they are this year getting ready for temple (Anjali's in blue and Natasha's in orange)





and here they are at The Sydney Murugan Temple





They are having a great time. Sanj emailed me that the family in Australia all know me by first name now, even the kids (because they followed the blog). He said, "It is funny when they mention your name in the middle of a conversation and am, for a second confused, if they were referring to you. Even one of my nephews asked me out of the blue if the girls get to see "Kelly" often? Very sweet!"

So, a quick shout out to the family . . . If I ever visit Australia, I promise to stop by!

Pregnancy Juju?

I have been following a few Surrogates closely through their current journey and sadly, they don't seem to be having much baby luck. I think (at least I know I have thought this for myself) that things went really easy last time. I matched right away with a great couple, they picked a donor and we synced quickly, my body responded to the hormones great, and the transfer took the first time . . . with twins . . . identical twins . . . and girls, just like they hoped. Can it get any better than that? At least it couldn't get any worse, right?

Well, a few Surro-friends I have (friends that are Surrogate moms not substitute friends) seem to be destined to all be pregnant together, even though some signed up months ago and a few are just finishing their paperwork now. Without naming names, they are all dealing with different issues: IPs taking weeks or months to find a donor, a donor dropping out at the last minute, bodies not responding to the meds, unsuccessful transfer(s), or a blighted ovum just to name a few. That's a lot of stuff to go on- whether it's your first journey or your second. It makes you wonder which is more stressful? A first time where you have nothing to compare the negative too (wondering if it's you, etc)? Versus a second time where you have everything to compare it to . . knowing, it's not you (or is it?)- knowing that you had it so easy last time and totally took it for granted.

So, as a Surrogate, you may be wondering, is there anything you can do to help your IPs have positive results? Aside from the usual eating healthy, cutting caffeine down, keeping a positive attitude, taking your meds correctly, etc.

I've heard stories of athletes not showering, not shaving, or continually wearing dirty socks because their team was on a winning streak. It makes me wonder if Surrogates do the same thing for the second, third or whatever number transfer they undergo? I would think it would be pretty unsanitary (not to mention inhumane) for a Surrogate to bring a rabbit's foot in with her for the transfer and wearing a horseshoe around your uterus could be cumbersome. I also think not showering or wearing dirty clothes would scare off IP's pretty quickly. So, when Surrogates go in for the transfer, take their first pregnancy test and go to their first ultrasound after a positive pregnancy test, should they bring some sort of Baby JuJu with them?

I know what mine is. At my first transfer I really freaked out about giving myself the shots the night before the transfer. So much so that the night of the transfer, before George and Sanj left to go to bed (after a day of hanging out with me during bed rest) I made Sanj give me my shots on my right hip. Now, he had years of experience of giving mice shots, just not humans :) So when he pulled out the needle, blood squirted out. We put a band-aid on it but I still bleed through, staining my Pajama pants and underwear. So . . . . . my Baby Juju, at least for the moment, is my green polka dot panties and my pink/brown PJ pants (with horses). I pick these because every time I wear them or wash them and I see the injection blood stain on the right hip, I smile and think of George, Sanj and the girls. And how great it was . . . so if I wear them again, to any of the events where I need some luck, maybe it will help . . . even if it's for me to remain positive.

Some may wear symbolic and good luck jewelry, or pray to some Patron Saints for Fertility, or cast a spell . . . I'll just stick to green polka dot panties!

We'll Make Our Own Positive PR!

After my last post, about the negative PR Surrogacy gets, my friend Stacie (also a surrogate starting her 2nd Journey) decided to post a paper she wrote about one of the coolest surrogates she knows, besides herself. Who you ask? Really? You need to ask??

Basically, Stacie had a writing assignment in her English class where she had to interview someone and write about it . . . Ladies and Gentlemen . . . I give you, "The Sunny Side of Surrogacy". Oh, and I think "Greg" and "Samir" will love it! LOL.


*****Updated*****

Here's the horrible article that set me off on the Negative PR post. And below is my email to the author.

Re: The Surrogate Life Wednesday, January 6, 2010 11:22 AM
From: "Kelly Rummelhart"
To: leah.finnegan@gmail.com

Saw your article. Have to say I'm glad that you didn't go through being a surrogate. After you have your own kids, if you ever decide to help a couple in need, please let it not be about the money- as you will NEVER have the best experience if you are "renting your womb" versus helping a couple become a family and find a legitimate agency. I've never seen my surrogacy as a "Business Opportunity" but that as helping gay men have the family the deserve.

It would have been nice to see some positive PR about surrogacy, instead of another person with no experience joking and making it negative. I get it, you wanted to come off as funny, quirky, cool. I know, I'm biased so instead of enjoying your article I sat there shaking my head, thinking, "here's another one".

Feel free to visit my blog (below) where you can see what it's like when you can blend humor and surrogacy with a positive outcome.

Kelly



Kelly's Surrogacy Blog
http://www.justthestork.blogspot.com

Where is all the Good PR on Surrogacy??

One of the reasons I try to keep up my blog is to show a continuing, successful Surrogacy journey . . . You know, one where I don't take off with the babies, extort money or the IPs don't end up suing me for breach of contract, etc. It's so hard to find good PR on Surrogacy sometimes. It's like the media has decided to only show the negatives and that really makes me mad. I understand the need to share some possibilities and to remind Intended Parents and Future Surrogates that they need to do their research- but I'd also like to see some positives . . . or does that not sell magazines and papers these days?

Well, I am here to tell you that WE exist. There are plenty of women, like myself, who are psychologically healthy, financially stable, college educated with the desire to help infertile couples become families . . . with proven experience of releasing the children to their families upon birth. So why don't they ever mention us? Why can't they show that Surrogacy can be a great option? Luckily, there are a few blogs and online groups where future Surrogates can see that there are perfectly normal stories of successful journeys.

I have to say I am a bit biased when it comes to Legitimate Agencies that have been around for years. I think it is important that both the IPs and Surrogate are supported and protected by an Agency. Most of the negative stuff I have read about Surrogacy didn't include a Legitimate Agency with a great history, but people choosing to go independent, hiring just a Lawyer or signing on with an Agency that hasn't been around long. Heck, even in the aforementioned Groups Online I've seen some women that I wouldn't leave a pet with . . . searching to become a Surrogate, luckily, if she goes to an agency like mine, they will "weed her out" but if she chooses to go independent or with a less than stellar agency, who knows. Maybe she'll end up like this woman.

Again, I fully admit I am biased. I'm sure there are a lot of Independent Surrogates who would say the same thing that I'm complaining about, " . . that there are plenty or examples of positive outcomes to Independent and newer Agency journeys . . ." but we don't see the good PR, just the bad.

I remember when I first started the process, I saw this article in Newsweek and here's MY Post about it. Even when they do the articles on Serial Surrogates, they tend to start out positive and end negative . . . making you wonder what motivates someone to be a Surrogate so many times instead of focusing on how many families she has helped over the years to create.

Even when Surrogacy was all over the Tabloids with Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, instead of focusing on how great it was that Michelle was helping someone's family grow, it was about her marriage status, her job, her sexuality- things that had nothing to do with her ability to help carry someone's child. Heck- her house got broken into by the Local Police. Again, not great PR . . . even worse PR for the Martins Ferry Police Department.

So, I guess I'll try to always keep up my blog, so others, even 20 years from now will see that successful Surrogacy is possible. Even if the New York Times or The Morning Show never pick up my story with George, Sanj and the girls, if you search hard enough on the internet, you'll find it. It may even be in the year 2025 or so when I post a pick of Anjali and Natasha graduating from High School . . . because I know I'll either be there or at least get lots of pictures from the event!

One Year Get Together!

*AFTER POST NOTE* My husband wanted me to put a forewarning in here that this post is more cute than funny. I didn't think I needed to warn people, but apparently he says, my readers are expecting, "cute funnies" and I didn't come through this time.

As you know, Natasha and Anjali turned ONE November 28th. I couldn't go to their birthday party so George and Sanj made a "Down Memory Lane" trip to Sacramento.

We met at 33rd Street Bistro, where we had been April of 2008, when I first had lunch with Sanj's mom and aunt during their visit to the states


While we were waiting for our take out lunch, the girls were chillin' at the bar.


We were able to hang out for the afternoon and visit our OB Dr. Knight and some of the Nurses that worked the floor where the girls stayed for a few days after delivery.

Once we pulled up to the Doctor's office, I gave the girls the Owl Hats I brought for them . . . part of their Christmas Present


Here's a close-up


We were able to hang out with Dr. Knight for a bit. Here's George and Sanj telling Dr. Knight about how much fun they've had in the last year . . . and how little sleep

and sharing their BRAG BOOK that starts with a picture of the blastocysts that were implanted!

We ate at Dr. Knight's. Here I am with Natasha


Next, we walked over to the Nurses' station on the Recovery floor. They totally remembered all of us and couldn't believe it had already been a year. Here are some of the Nurses posing with the family and the flowers George and Sanj had sent them


On the way out we had to take a picture of me and the girls by the Maternity Admissions sign


It was so great to see my Surro-family again. I am really lucky that we an usually get together every few months. It has helped make my experience as a Surrogate Mother even better. Through this process I didn't just gain some friends, I gained another sect of a family.