Friday, December 12, 2008

Q & A Part 2

One of my favorite parts of being a surrogate is all the great (and sometimes funny) questions I get asked.
Here is the link to Q & A Part 1 and I thought I'd share a few that I've received in the last 2 weeks -it's been 2 weeks, can you believe it?

Q: Have you had them yet?
A: Now I try to not to take offense to this question, but it seems almost silly to me because I was so HUGE 2 weeks ago and even though I have a belly left (it's just deflated and several inches lower), I'm already back down to my pre-surrogate pregnancy weight. I would think it would be noticeable that I'm about 26+ pounds lighter than 2 weeks ago, but whatever! Perhaps, because I'm still about 30 lbs away from where I was before I gave birth to Ruby . . . but again, whatever!

Q: Was it hard to let the babies go?
A: Not at all. Again, I went into this whole thing knowing they were not my babies and that I didn't want anymore children, so it didn't bother me at all to see them drive away with their parents. I always wonder if people think I'm some cold-hearted lady when I say this, but it's the truth! (Wait, that sounds bad . . . the truth is it wasn't hard, not that it's true I'm cold-hearted, ha!)

Q: Did you cry at all?
A: Yes, I'm a total cry baby . . . Oreo commercials, Steel Magnolias, Brokeback Mountain, heck, even The Green Mile book and movie by Stephen King . . . not to mention I was full of hormones! First, I started to get all "misty eyed" in the delivery room- watching the dads react to the birth of their girls was amazing. Too see them so happy, and know that I had something to do with it, it was indescribable!
The other time I started to cry was when the parents and their family started thanking me (and hugging me) as they were leaving . . . I lost it. I wasn't crying because I wanted the girls, I was crying because the girls were so wanted. If you had a Grandma thanking you for helping her son and his husband and helping give her grandbabies, well, you would be a cold-hearted lady not to cry at that!

Q: Do you still hear from the parents?
A: Yes . . . mind you, it's only been 2 weeks, so I'm sure as time goes on, our communication will space out a bit- having kids will do that, but for now I seem to talk with them every day or two. I hate to call because I know they must be tired and I don't want to wake them (not the girls, I don't want to wake the parents!)

Q: Did you enjoy being a surrogate?
A: I can easily say my experience, as a surrogate was absolutely amazing. I really believe that in the future, when I look back on all my accomplishments, it will easily be one of the best things I ever did. As a friend of mine wrote in an email - “You were able to help give a wonderful gift so that two people could experience what you and I know so well... the incredible love and joy that can only be experienced by having kids." It really was an unbelievable journey for my family, their family and me. The feelings I had when I saw the parents with their babies will stay with me forever.

Q: Do you think you'll do this again?
A: I don't know. My goal was just to do this one time, but my experience was so amazing and there are other couples who still need help. I know after we got matched, I asked George and Sanj how long they had been with Growing Generations before I came along and it was almost a year! It's hard enough to find someone who wants to be a surrogate, but then to find someone who passes the medical and psychological screening, and who's not just in it for the money, that's were you run into even more issues. I tend to have easy pregnancies, heal quickly, and with my hips, I was made for childbirth . . . put that with the feeling of helping someone create a family they always wanted, it's almost like a drug- I think I'm addicted! :)


Listen Up, MoFos! said...

As always, you leave me speechless! You are just so generous and sweet. I would not pass the mental health screening, I would not be able to give them up! I wonder about your kids, do they say anything, do they ask?

Foodie Patootie said...

I'm a friend of Sanj's and George's, and I just keep looking at the pictures over and over, reading your words and your father's comments, and shaking my head in total awe and amazement. For once in my life, I am without words. A HUGE Mazel Tov to Sanj, George, and you, Kelly.