Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Q & A Part I

Since I'm so open about the subject of my Surrogacy I get plenty of questions. They say there are no stupid questions, but I'm starting to think, whoever "They" are never carried another couples baby. I figured I'd share some answers of some of the most popular questions I've been asked so far. You'll notice I put Part I in the title . . . I assume Part II will come a few months from now when I start really showing and new questions arise.

Q: What made you want to do this? Did you just decide one day to do it?
A: It may sound weird, but I think this is one of the reasons I'm here (put on this earth). I have known for a really long time that I would do this someday. To anyone who really knows me, this is not really a surprise at all.

Q: Wow. I couldn't do that! Now this is more of a statement, but whatever. I hear it a lot.

A: Yes, I know there are not a lot of women who could (or should) carry a baby for someone else, family or not. But I'm not your average girl. And lucky for infertile couples out there, a few of us do exist.

Q: Aren't you going to want to keep them?
A: No, why would I? They are not my babies. They were not my eggs, not my husband's sperm and we already have 3 of our own, thank you very much. I went into this knowing all the above. We're done having (our own) kids. There is an amazing couple that needs my help. Why on earth would I try to keep THEIR child? I would not babysit a friend's baby for 9 months while they're fighting in IRAQ and then expect to keep it once they returned.

Q: It's not your egg but it's your blood, so won't it be your DNA?A: No. A fertilized egg has half it's genetic material from the egg and half from the sperm . . . nothing from me.

Q: What does your husband think? Mine would never let me do that.
A: Well, then I guess I'm lucky I married the right man. I have a loving husband who supports me (so far) in everything I've wanted to do. He knows what things are important to me, he knew about the surrogacy idea even before we were married. He is excited by the idea because he knows this journey is important to me and our family as a whole.

Q: Do your kids understand?

A: Ruby (age 6) and Preston (age 4) totally get it. We began discussing this with them when we started the process and even bought a book for them (a few posts below). Sawyer is 19 months and oblivious to the whole thing. My children are one of the reasons we're doing this. I think this is a great learning experience. There are so many ways to make a family and I want them to CELEBRATE all families, no matter how they get there or who's in it. This experience will help them see first hand that everyone (regardless of race, sexual orientation, religion, etc) should be admired and celebrated.

Q: You get a lot of money for doing this, right? (now I haven't had any friends ask me this as it is a bit rude but my mother gets asked this a lot and I've had students ask me too).

A: I'm sure some people become a surrogate because of the money but I'm not one of them. I kind of think that the money is there to help partners think, okay there are other reasons to do this too. Not only that, but with the amount of time and energy you put in, it's nice to get some compensation.

However, a lot of money, No. I make more teaching part time, a few hours a week (with little to no complications for my body) than I'll be taking home from this experience. Most people see a number and think, wow . . . without thinking of a few things. Also, unlike other "jobs" you don't usually have to work 24 hours a day, 40 weeks a year . . . . never off, limited to what you can eat, drink, physically do, etc. I think you catch my drift.

Q; What if you have 5 or 6 babies?
I won't have that many babies as only a certain amount of blastocysts are placed inside the uterus.


Lisa said...

I don't have a question, just a comment. You're the coolest thing since sliced bread!!!
:) Lisa

rebecca said...

aghh ur soo funny girl and i love ur views on this!!!U are So amazing for doing this for another couple!!!

*ChRiStInA* said...

My own sister told me that she was thinking about doing a surro after seeing me but could NEVER do it for a gay couple b/c she doesnt wanna get to the gates of heaven and God turn her away bc she helped a Gay couple have a baby? I was so amazed at her stupidity. I helped a wonderful, deserving couple have 2 beautiful babies and dont regret it no one bit