Thursday, February 10, 2011

Surrogacy/Pregnancy isn't always Pretty

This week a surrogate friend of mine had to stay a few nights in the hospital (31 weeks with twins). To stop the contractions, they gave her different medications that caused her to get really puffy and she had made the comment, "Will not be taking any more pictures of myself this pregnancy...Good grief, bed-rest, magnesium drip and stress for 3 days= one very swollen lady."

Of course I told her that she needs to still take pictures because otherwise she won't have awesome "HOLY CRAP" photos not to mention, an accurate account of her journey- the good and the bad. Sure we like to take pictures when our hair is done, make-up on and we're looking great. But that's not the WHOLE journey.

I, myself, have been guilty of not putting up photos when I don't look great (or I cut off my head to "save face"). It took everything that I had to post up the Post Delivery Picture after I had Gideon and Harper because I still looked very pregnant and my face was very swollen. But I figured what the hell, it happened. It wasn't "Pretty" but it happened.

So, I thought for Melissa's sake and other surrogates out there, I'd share a few "not so pretty photos" that remind me and my surro twins' Dads about the marvelous journey we went on. FYI- these are in no particular order and cover both journeys, not just the latest.

Fun times with injections (this one was done the night before the transfer by David)
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I wish I would've taken a picture of the one that Sanj did for me after the transfer. However, I still have my PJ bottoms and lucky polka dot green underwear that have a blood stain from where I bleed all over after the injection. Ah, good times!

Fun Times with Swelling (this was after a trip to Disneyland in August about 29 weeks preggo with twins. I think it was the 8+ hours in a car with hardly any stops that really did it!)
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More Fun with Swelling (after I was finally able to get one of my rings off)
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Hooked up to the NST machine
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Babies listening to their Daddies reading them stories
24 weeks belly buds
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Fun times with IV's
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When I look at these pictures, they are beautiful in their own way. They help me remember how marvelous the experience was and how I'm not sure I'm ready to give it up.

Because for every photo there is of me with an IV punctured into my hand or my a huge monster foot, there are also several of these . . .

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. . . and isn't that worth it?

*(I have several from my last delivery that I can't share :( but They are just marvelous and would've been placed here if I could).

8 comments:

chirpingmom said...

Loving this post so much! Thank you for sharing.

But I have to say, you mentioned that you were totally okay with not being allowed to share any pictures from your latest journey, but judging from some of your comments… you don't seem to be as okay with it as you claimed to be?

Kelly & Her Uterus said...

@chirping mom- I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to post pictures and blog about other parts of my second journey. I AM okay with not because I understand. I blogged for them on their own blog, so that was nice.

I understand that people would take an awesome picture of 2 dads in a delivery room and somehow say something negative. It is sad to not be able to tell people you're expecting or go buy baby things ahead of time because someone will sell you out. I couldn't imagine being in that situation.

So as much as I'd love to post pics, I won't (unless they've already shared themselves). I will just have to continue to share pictures with my family and close friends.

Thanks for your concern :)

The Future Bride said...

You are such an incredible woman. Reading this post, and your blog in general, brings tears to my eyes. My sister can no longer have children and my aunt recently served as a surrogate and completed their family. I know how strong and good-willed you must be. I am truly honored to read your blog and wish that there were more woman like you in this world...

Anonymous said...

Loving this post. I like that you're able to balance the difficult vs wonderful things with a surrogacy journey. It`s so real the way you tell it. It help people understand. The pictures are sweet, they say more than thousand words, and they show the way towards the goal - to help create a family.

It is good that you don`t share pictures, and blog specific things from your 2 journey. I understand that they don`t want that, and I love that you respect that.

Have you decided to take on a 3 journey?

Bella

Missy Bowyer said...

Holy Cow, You made me cry! Thanks for the perspective. I guess I feel like people (myself included) expect every and all parts of this journey to go off without a hitch,no complications otherwise maybe it wasn't meant to be...I am gonna take a pic right now of my big fat glorious self and celebrate two lives living in me...pretty or not:)

Madgew said...

Okay Kelly, those feet look dangerous.

Heidi said...

You are a brave woman! It's soo true though you do have the good the bad and yes some ugly. As song as something beautiful is created as the result...it is all worth it.

BTW...I preggo with twins! :)

Krystal said...

I'm glad you posted this because you're right, it's not all roses. You're a brave woman! Thanks for sharing.