My bag is packed and hanging out in the back of my van. I'm ready to go . . . just waiting for that whole "labor" thing to begin. My family and friends are so surprised I haven't given birth yet. I am actually the most stunned- I guess I jinxed myself blogging about how early my own kids come. I thought for sure between my early births and and with twins usually making an early appearance, by today, the parents would be experts at wiping spit-up, changing their girls outfits 4 times a day after multiple "blow outs", and trying to function on minimal sleep with no showers. But here I am . . . still VERY pregnant and they are still very clean and well rested (with plans to see the new Bond movie Friday).
Back to the packing . . . it was much easier to pack for my hospital stay this time around than when I was about to birth my own kids. I get to pack a few things I would have never packed before and get to leave several items at home. More than likely I'll be having a c-section, so instead of staying for only one day, I might be in the hospital for 2-4 days. New items I packed this time are books. With three kids at home, a teaching job, a children's boutique and a television addiction reading a book for pleasure (written for an adult) isn't usually my top priority. So, I made sure to bring two books that I've been wanting to read, When You Are Engulfed In Flames by my favorite author David Sedaris and Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach. Since I won't need to care for the twins or my own children, I may actually be able to read both books from cover to cover! Heck, with a c-section I'll have a catheter in, so having to stop reading to go pee won't even be an issue! I'm also debating about bringing my laptop. Sutter Memorial has free Wi-fi so I figured I can keep up with the blog during my "down time". I can create magical blogs in my hospital bed and later have a nurse help me up to walk around and post it from the free Wi-fi area . . . or when my family comes to see me, have them post it. Seriously, if not for the fact that this will be major abdominal surgery with a few weeks of recovery, my hospital stay has the makings of one of the best vacations I've taken in the last few years.
On the other hand, no need for me to bring car seats, the girls won't be going home with me. Don't need to pack any outfits, diapers, or any other baby gear. I also don't need to bring anything for Rick, as he won't be staying overnight with me like he did with our kids. We've discussed his "job" through all this and it doesn't need to be much. These aren't our kids, so it's not like he needs to be there during the birth. Yes, he could give me encouragement and support, but the parents will be there, and their excitement for the outcome will undoubtedly be more than Ricks, so they may be the better bet. I do think if something goes wrong, maybe I would want him there, but I hate to go there . . .
Even though it may be a downer, it is part of the whole experience, so maybe I will mention some of my anxieties. Let me preface this by saying I have a huge imagination, so there have been a few things I've thought about during this process. Ultimately, I'm very optimistic, so my overactive imagination hasn't gotten out of control. As we get closer to delivery and it became apparent that I would probably be having a c-section, some new thoughts started to tip-toe into my mind . First, I could lose my uterus but the fact is, our family is complete, so it's not like I would be devastated that a future baby wouldn't have the chance to join our family.
One of the things that does make my heart skip a beat is that I know dying during birth does happen, although very unlikely. I have thought a little bit more about this just because I've never had a c-section before, so I've devoted a little bit of time to all my what if situations. The biggest sadness I feel besides of course my children losing their mother is the thought that Sawyer is too young to remember me if I did pass. (Again, it is not my goal to freak people out here or have them to start to tear up, but I have tried to stay genuine during all my posts, and this goes for the sad thoughts as well as the funny ones). Perhaps I should insert a pooping during delivery joke here to cut the tension? Again, I'm very positive and know that everything is going to be fine, but I would be lying to say that the thoughts above never have entered my mind.
Well, it's the end of the post and I'm still pregnant- damn it! *smile*
I'll keep you posted. I'm hoping things happen soon. No one, including my OB, thinks I'll make it to November 30th (which is our induction/c-section date) but you never know. I do hope that I give birth before this Monday or after next Friday. It would suck to spend Thanksgiving without my family in the hospital. Although, it may suck more to be pregnant at Thanksgiving since more than a cup full of food seems to give me heart burn. Perhaps I need to see this in a more positive light . . . as a diet technique. I will no doubt have several pounds to shed in the next few months (or years for me) this could be a blessing in disguise, my inability to eat or enjoy Thanksgiving. Perhaps the twins should stay in longer so they can help me not eat Christmas Cookies?