Living Vicariously Through Photos

On my Private Surrogate Group on Facebook we share pictures of bellies, Intended Parents and surro babies. I love seeing all their photos and of course love to share my own. I especially have a place in my heart for big ol' belly pictures. I think it's because I love being pregnant and I love having a big belly full of babies! Hell- some of the times I've felt the sexiest was when I was pregnant. I really do miss it. A lot of women say they want to get back to their pre-baby body, sure, I do too . . . but you know what I'd like even more than that? A Pregnant Belly! When I see the pictures and read the posts about those that are currently preggo, I get a little jealous.

I think I've said this before but one of the reasons I enjoy being a Surrogate is that I get to be pregnant, have the big belly for a few months and NOT have to raise another child. I totally enjoy being pregnant. I have cherished the 5 times I had "the belly" and even though now I have a flabby, stretchy, C-section apron tummy, I wouldn't change anything. Which brings me to the next Surrogate sharing phenomenon- "getting stitched back together." I have a few friends, some of which were Surrogates, who have visited "Dr. Lookin' Good". I have seen the before and after pictures of the abdominalplasties, Boob Lifts, Boob jobs and I'll admit it- I'm jealous.

So- I'm at a kind of cross-roads. With insurance issues (supposedly) behind me, do I go for one last journey? One final affair with the belly? Make sure I do all the things I forgot to do the last two surro-journeys? Henna on the Belly? Belly Cast? Monthly Belly Art with the kids? OR do I retire from being a Surrogate and make the much needed Tummy Tuck/Boob Lift appointment with the plastic surgeon? OR do I have the best of both world's? Do one last hurrah and then go under the knife . . . right in time for my 20th high school reunion and a few years shy of my 40th birthday? My thirties were for babies and my forties and beyond will be for me. Like Angel said, "Today for you. Tomorrow for me!"

So which is it?

Start the process of dieting, exercising and the much needed Tummy Tuck to regain (or the closest I can come) my College Spring Break body?


Or bring a loving couple a child and a big belly for me?


Decisions, Decisions. I guess I need to really think about it all . . . but you know what they say . . . the third time is a charm.

Visiting my Girlies!

On Easter, my family and I had the pleasure to go visit George, Sanj and the girls. We were only able to hang out for about an hour or two (Easter with the in-laws) but we had some Easter goodies for Natasha and Anjali and we were dying to see them . . . especially after the videos they sent me.

The day started out memorable with my son Sawyer spilling a completely full cup of hot cocoa all over the floor. Luckily, by now George and Sanj are used to having twins that spill things. When you don't have kids, the spills can get annoying. It reminds me of our trip last summer in LA visiting out other surro-family. The guys insisted it was fine for the kids to eat pizza in the living room while we hung out and ate in the dining room . . . Fast forward to about fifteen minutes later and there are greasy handprints all over their couch. Last month, when their house was on the market, I swore you could see the handprint in the listing. :) And when I flew down last month to visit, the couch wasn't there anymore. I laughed and asked if they threw it away because of the grease but I guess the buyers wanted it (and the handprints came out) . . . or at least that's the story they gave us!

Anyway . . . . after the hot cocoa spill everyone took turns playing games on my iPad (no one played Smurf's Village)




and then next was an impromptu Yoga class. Ruby does yoga as part of her Physical Education at school and was teaching the girls some of her favorite poses







Eventually we had to go (about 5 hours less than most of our visits) so they walked us out knowing they would see us again soon. Gosh I love them!

My Venus of Willendorf Mother's Day Gift

Wanted to share with you the awesome Mother's Day Gift that my father and Step-mom sent me. The picture is the actual Venus of Willendorf, but my parents sent me my own replica figurine and I LOVE IT!

They know me so well! I guess once you buy yourself a custom uterine plush, you send the message that "normal" gifts just won't do! ;)

You may have seen this work of art before, but if not, it is a limestone carving of a female figure. This piece of prehistoric art was carved around 22,000 BCE. Several people believe that it celebrates fertility (hence the larger breasts, abdomen, etc). I know modern day c-sections were not the cause of her abdominal roll, but it certainly looks like the c-section "apron" that several women I know have been left with, including myself!

Of course with Art, just like Poetry, everyone can have their own opinion of meaning. When I see this figurine, it makes me think of a someone very similar to me . . . someone who has had several children (maybe some of them not her own), someone who carried either big babies or multiples, someone who used their body to bring about love and life and was left rounded, stretched and soft but above all a selfless mother.