Friday, December 30, 2011

This is My Belly, I am no longer ashamed.

I have been wanting to do a post like this for a long time. However, I always thought I'd wait until after I was done having babies and also had my "After" tummy tuck picture to do it. And I thought I'd write it, not here, but a site I have come to love called The Shape of a Mother. I am not sure what has given me the courage to do this now, of all times, but it's time.

Is it the fear of being newly single after 13 years with the same person?

Is it my Surrogate Group's openness?

Is it the thought that some other woman will see my picture and see herself in a new light? See that she is still beautiful?

All the above?


You see, one of my Surrogate Groups started posting pictures of their bodies and bellies. There are only about 35 of us on this particular group and each one is all sorts of Awesome. We trust each other immensely, enough so that even though we sometimes don't feel so great about the bodies that we've been left with after our own babies and our Surro-babies, we still feel safe enough to post up pictures. Some of them are tiny, some of us are not . . . but I've found that we're all beautiful. I decided that I was going to do it too and GOD, was it freeing. To be able to show off what I try so hard to hide . . . to say, "Fuck it! This is me. This is all of me."

Now maybe after I publish this I will feel weird knowing that people out there will have seen what I've been hiding since I started having kids back in 2000 . . . but this body has nourished and grown 7 babies, 8 if we count the one I'm currently pregnant with. This body has breastfeed all of them, from a few days to over a year (depending). This body has completed my own family and has brought joy to two others, three (after July). This body has been good to me and others. This body has brought about so much joy and love. This body has been thin, tan, white, pregnant, stretched out, heavy . . . you name it. This body has seen things that some others have only dreamed about.

This body is mine. I will no longer be ashamed of the way it looks because it has been phenomenal to me and those I hold so dear. It is who I am. And in the future, if I ever get the tummy tuck, or lose more weight, whatever, it will still be mine and I will love it just the same.

Like I put on my Facebook/Twitter today after doing this, "I am Smart. I am Funny. I am Beautiful inside and out. I am a Great Mom. I am a loyal companion . . . and I need to say this aloud everyday to remind myself. My life has changed but "Kelly" will emerge . . . because I am also strong."

I decided to not take a different picture because I was sure I would've tried to get a better angle or change it to try to make it better, perhaps show more of "the girls" since they're pretty great (even more so when in a bra LOL) instead I'm posting the picture that I took when I ran into the back room at work, pulled up my top and clicked. A quick "This is my belly" picture to join the "photo movement" the women I love so much were courageous enough to do themselves.


Photobucket

19 comments:

Heather said...

You are beautiful.. You are smart. You are an inspiration. Love you so much and I'm so proud of you for posting this.

Melissa said...

I am crying..You are awesome..Kelly will rise because she is the most fucking wonderful woman...you are such an inspiration and I'd five anything to have boobs like that!

Angele said...

You are amazing! You are strong! You are brave! You are breathtakingly beautiful! Xoxo

Andrea said...

You are so brave, so strong, and so beautiful. I love you, and I am sooo fucking proud of you.

Meredith said...

Tears of joy!!! Good on you for posting!! You are so inspiring and beutiful and amazing...good job Kelly!!

Michael said...

That is just awesome. Your paragraph about what your body has done in your lifetime was amazing. To see all you have done already is just inspiring.

Melissa B said...

That was beautiful Kelly! I think the tears I am crying some from Pride, the pride of knowing someone as kick ass as you! <3

Madgew said...

You are brave and remarkable and when you wrote about what this body produced it is a miracle and amazing. I still think you will have a tummy tuck and I think you will be happy either way. I waited until I was 60 to have a tummy tuck and I would recommend doing it way before this age. I had serious complications but I am happy I did it and should have done it sooner. It mattered to me. You are one fabulous woman.

Madgew said...

By the way you look so much better than Kate Gosselin did before hers. Also, I truly think this is not that bad considering all the stretching. Fuck the people who don't get it.

joahnaK said...

Sweetie, my belly looks like that, and I haven't had one child, let alone 7-8. Gorgeous!

greatdanasworkshop said...

I love this. I don't know you but I like your belly! It looks just like the rest of ours. Lovely.

The Future Bride said...

I am crying as well. Kelly, this is truly beautiful. I haven't been through half as much as what you've been through, but you are a role model and I can't even express what it says to me that you posted this picture. So thank you, for being so brave and doing it. You are beautiful - both inside and out!

Sandy said...

Kelly you are the most amazing lady that I know. You are smart, talented, and best of all you make the men in your life complete with their babies. Keep your head up high, you can do this!

Jeni said...

Amen Sister!!!

This is just awesome. You are an inspiration to so many. I love that our bellies can tell a pretty incredible story about the families that we have created!

And you ain't kiddin'...the girls look fantastic! I'm jealous!!! Lol!

Mike and Tony said...

You have brought tears to my eyes. What power and strength. I love your belly!!!

Mandie Mc said...

You will make one hell of a Phoenix when these flames are through. <3

Jesse said...

Love it! You're gorgeous!

Awesome awesome post.

Heidi said...

Oh Kelly, you brought tears to my eyes. You are one of the most inspirational people I know. I will never forget the first time I met you. You inspired me to become a surrogate and it has been worth every stretch mark! I am so proud of you for being so brave withhold beautiful body. Love you girl!

Raquel Getzel said...

oh Kelly! You are one smart, beautiful, wonderful, creative, loving and giving woman. Don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise!