It's time for an update and I figure Father's Day (or rather Fathers' Day) is the perfect time for it.
The decision has been made. Much to the chagrin of a few people in my life, I will be proceeding with the process of a third journey. I know their only concerns are for my safety, and there's nothing wrong with that. They all seem to be supportive, they just don't want anything to happen to me. For the record, I totally understand that, I don't want anything to happen to me either.
However, just to point out there is a larger chance of me:
. . . getting killed in a car accident. Yet, I still drive a car every single day of my life- and with my kids!
. . . getting killed in a plane crash. However, I still fly various places to visit people- sometimes with my kids in tote!
Heck, my father's sport of choice when I was growing up was Skydiving. Not the safest activity to participate in and I remember being pretty freaked out about it at times (especially before my wedding when he started diving again) but he did it anyway because he enjoyed it even though he knew there were risks. Come to think of it, my dad has lost more friends skydiving than I have friends who have given birth. My count- zero . . . and when your friends are made up of women, including surrogates, we're talking a looooooot of birthing going on! :)
My OB has signed off on another journey, although he did say he'd rather me carry a singleton this next time instead of twins again and I agree! He said that I could do another twin pregnancy, whether it was a surrogacy or my own, but if I did, he'd watch me more closely. I take his opinion over everyone else since he has seen my uterus first hand and has my medical files. If he had said No, I would've shrugged and said, okay. But he didn't!
While, I know some may be bummed by my decision to proceed, they know I am an educated woman that makes informed decisions and that I am not feeling pressured by anything or anyone.
I am not being held against my will in a Criminal Surrogacy Ring!
I am not a woman from a third world country (possibly?) being exploited so a western couple can have a baby. (My feelings about Indian Surrogacy will have to wait for another post as I still don't have a concrete opinion about it- I'm all over the place).
I am not destitute. As I've stated many times before, my family is financially fine without the money from surrogacy. We bought our house before any of my journey's, we do just fine without it ;) A surrogate friend once shared they had a family member ask her, "If I give you the money would you not do this." She laughed and reminded her that she's not in it for the money, that like me, she's in it for the entire journey. The journey that ends with helping create a loving family.
SOOOOO . . . what are the next steps? Well, for me, even though this will be my third time with my same agency, I still have to go through the process of applying and being screened again.
In the next few weeks I hope to pass the Medical and Psychological Screening and of course the background check. I'm not too worried, although I do think my blood pressure will shoot up once they put the cuff on my arm, definitely "white coat syndrome".
I've already filled out the application with Growing Generations.
My Insurance situation has been straightend out.
I've signed and gathered all the paperwork (Surrogacy agreement, pay stubs, consent forms, etc.)
I've revised my Profile and Pictures. This part is my favorite to complete . . . introducing myself, sharing my family, and reminicing about my last two journeys. This is actually where the title of my blog came from. Someone asked what you should say on the profile and letter to the Intended Parents (how winded to get) and I joke, " I just say: You want a baby. I've got a uterus. Let's do this!" . . . I mean really, does it need to be more than that? Maybe a photo pointing to my pregnant belly with the subtitle, "ehhhhhhhhhh???!!!"
Just wanted to share an email from my dad:
I just spent about 30 minutes discussing with Mamaw your decision to take "the final journey", defending your position on surrogacy with a small discussion on gay rights and the need we all have for a willingness to "learn new tricks". As "an old dog", I may not always agree with you, but I am a seeker of truth and understanding and try not to allow the prejudices, bias and habitual thinking that we all struggle with to control my thoughts and actions. Your happiness and success, as defined by you, are and will always be at the top of my desires. I may not always voice my thoughts when they are conflicted, but know that I always support you even when I'm at odds with your methods or motivation.
I'm very proud of you, Kelly. You're an extremely intelligent and compassionate woman. I take pride in your independence even when it bumps up against my own.
I love you, Kel.