Sunday, June 19, 2011

You Want a Baby. I've Got a Uterus. Let's Do This!

It's time for an update and I figure Father's Day (or rather Fathers' Day) is the perfect time for it.

The decision has been made. Much to the chagrin of a few people in my life, I will be proceeding with the process of a third journey. I know their only concerns are for my safety, and there's nothing wrong with that. They all seem to be supportive, they just don't want anything to happen to me. For the record, I totally understand that, I don't want anything to happen to me either.

However, just to point out there is a larger chance of me:

. . . getting killed in a car accident. Yet, I still drive a car every single day of my life- and with my kids!

. . . getting killed in a plane crash. However, I still fly various places to visit people- sometimes with my kids in tote!

Heck, my father's sport of choice when I was growing up was Skydiving. Not the safest activity to participate in and I remember being pretty freaked out about it at times (especially before my wedding when he started diving again) but he did it anyway because he enjoyed it even though he knew there were risks. Come to think of it, my dad has lost more friends skydiving than I have friends who have given birth. My count- zero . . . and when your friends are made up of women, including surrogates, we're talking a looooooot of birthing going on! :)

My OB has signed off on another journey, although he did say he'd rather me carry a singleton this next time instead of twins again and I agree! He said that I could do another twin pregnancy, whether it was a surrogacy or my own, but if I did, he'd watch me more closely. I take his opinion over everyone else since he has seen my uterus first hand and has my medical files. If he had said No, I would've shrugged and said, okay. But he didn't!

While, I know some may be bummed by my decision to proceed, they know I am an educated woman that makes informed decisions and that I am not feeling pressured by anything or anyone.

I am not being held against my will in a Criminal Surrogacy Ring!

I am not a woman from a third world country (possibly?) being exploited so a western couple can have a baby. (My feelings about Indian Surrogacy will have to wait for another post as I still don't have a concrete opinion about it- I'm all over the place).

I am not destitute. As I've stated many times before, my family is financially fine without the money from surrogacy. We bought our house before any of my journey's, we do just fine without it ;) A surrogate friend once shared they had a family member ask her, "If I give you the money would you not do this." She laughed and reminded her that she's not in it for the money, that like me, she's in it for the entire journey. The journey that ends with helping create a loving family.

SOOOOO . . . what are the next steps? Well, for me, even though this will be my third time with my same agency, I still have to go through the process of applying and being screened again.

In the next few weeks I hope to pass the Medical and Psychological Screening and of course the background check. I'm not too worried, although I do think my blood pressure will shoot up once they put the cuff on my arm, definitely "white coat syndrome".

I've already filled out the application with Growing Generations.

My Insurance situation has been straightend out.

I've signed and gathered all the paperwork (Surrogacy agreement, pay stubs, consent forms, etc.)

I've revised my Profile and Pictures. This part is my favorite to complete . . . introducing myself, sharing my family, and reminicing about my last two journeys. This is actually where the title of my blog came from. Someone asked what you should say on the profile and letter to the Intended Parents (how winded to get) and I joke, " I just say: You want a baby. I've got a uterus. Let's do this!" . . . I mean really, does it need to be more than that? Maybe a photo pointing to my pregnant belly with the subtitle, "ehhhhhhhhhh???!!!"

****UPDATE*****

Just wanted to share an email from my dad:


I just spent about 30 minutes discussing with Mamaw your decision to take "the final journey", defending your position on surrogacy with a small discussion on gay rights and the need we all have for a willingness to "learn new tricks". As "an old dog", I may not always agree with you, but I am a seeker of truth and understanding and try not to allow the prejudices, bias and habitual thinking that we all struggle with to control my thoughts and actions. Your happiness and success, as defined by you, are and will always be at the top of my desires. I may not always voice my thoughts when they are conflicted, but know that I always support you even when I'm at odds with your methods or motivation.

I'm very proud of you, Kelly. You're an extremely intelligent and compassionate woman. I take pride in your independence even when it bumps up against my own.

I love you, Kel.

13 comments:

Krystal said...

Congrats and your decision and best of luck to you! I look forward to following.

Madgew said...

Kelly, it is your body and your decision and as long as your immediate family (husband and kids) are standing with you go for it. How old are you? Since it is not your eggs I would assume it is for a younger woman so not necessarily have to do amino or other tests but just normal gestational screenings. It will be wonderful to follow along as I missed the first two not knowing you until recently.chrank

Kelly & Her Uterus said...

@Madge- yes amnio is based off the egg donor's age, not mine. I'm 36 and since I've been a surro before could do so (with my agency) until 40 or so . . . but I want to be done by 40.

Nutty Mommy said...

Congrats on your decision, Kelly! I wish you the best on your 3rd journey and look forward to reading your blog updates as your journey continues!

Sandy said...

How exciting. Are you going to blog every step of the way??? Congrats and enjoy your pregnancy w/ your beautiful uterus! :-)

Mike and Tony said...

YAY FOR YOU!! I am so excited for you and the amazingly blessed IPs who get to work with you!

Michael said...

Yay! How exciting! I know you say no twins...but hopefully someone will get lucky. You seem to have that special uterus that loves twins on the first try! Do we owe you a tummy tuck now since you decided to do it again?

Ashley said...

Woo hoo!!! This is exciting news! I knew you couldn't not do it. I am so happy for you and I can't wait to hear about your journey (hopefully it isn't so private this time so we can all be there with you every step of the way). Good luck, girlie! There is an awesome couple waiting for you and that uterus so go get 'em!!

Susan said...

Congratulations. I'm glad you listened to yourself and your OB and made a decision that is right for you.

Queen of the Nerds said...

Congratulations on your decision! I can't wait to read all about it.

Nicole P. said...

Congrats and Best of Luck on journey #3 :)

Kiamae1975 said...

Just found your blog by clicking "Next blog". This is my first time here and I hope to come back and see how things are going with you.
My husband and I are saving up and going to hire a surrogate to carry our next child. We adopted our first wonderful baby girl. It happened so suddenly, she's our miracle.
I admire you greatly and coming from an extremely infertile momma I appreciate what you are doing. I have the strong desire in my heart to have more children. I don't have to give birth to them because they are already in my heart.
I was extremely blessed with being in the room when our 17 month old was born and got to cut her umbilical cord. I think it helped me to feel even closer to her when she was born.
Even though we don't share any DNA I kind of feel that the birth mother was a surrogate for us because our baby girl looks just like her daddy (my hubby). Even our 3 frozen embryos don't share my DNA because we had to use an egg donor.
We aren't at the point to check out agencies but hope to ask you when we are ready what agency you used.
Good luck and hope you have a beautiful pregnancy and easy labor when you are chosen.

LovelyMrsJessica said...

I think you are REMARKABLE, an absolutely amazing person. I do not know you, and stumbled upon your Facebook through GG's Facebook page, and clicked the link. I HOPE to give the blessings you've given families some day. I've just finished my screening. WHAT A BLESSING YOU ARE! xoxo jessica GOOD LUCK, and BEST WISHES!