Q & A Part I

Since I'm so open about the subject of my Surrogacy I get plenty of questions. They say there are no stupid questions, but I'm starting to think, whoever "They" are never carried another couples baby. I figured I'd share some answers of some of the most popular questions I've been asked so far. You'll notice I put Part I in the title . . . I assume Part II will come a few months from now when I start really showing and new questions arise.

Q: What made you want to do this? Did you just decide one day to do it?
A: It may sound weird, but I think this is one of the reasons I'm here (put on this earth). I have known for a really long time that I would do this someday. To anyone who really knows me, this is not really a surprise at all.

Q: Wow. I couldn't do that! Now this is more of a statement, but whatever. I hear it a lot.

A: Yes, I know there are not a lot of women who could (or should) carry a baby for someone else, family or not. But I'm not your average girl. And lucky for infertile couples out there, a few of us do exist.

Q: Aren't you going to want to keep them?
A: No, why would I? They are not my babies. They were not my eggs, not my husband's sperm and we already have 3 of our own, thank you very much. I went into this knowing all the above. We're done having (our own) kids. There is an amazing couple that needs my help. Why on earth would I try to keep THEIR child? I would not babysit a friend's baby for 9 months while they're fighting in IRAQ and then expect to keep it once they returned.

Q: It's not your egg but it's your blood, so won't it be your DNA?A: No. A fertilized egg has half it's genetic material from the egg and half from the sperm . . . nothing from me.

Q: What does your husband think? Mine would never let me do that.
A: Well, then I guess I'm lucky I married the right man. I have a loving husband who supports me (so far) in everything I've wanted to do. He knows what things are important to me, he knew about the surrogacy idea even before we were married. He is excited by the idea because he knows this journey is important to me and our family as a whole.


Q: Do your kids understand?
A: Ruby (age 6) and Preston (age 4) totally get it. We began discussing this with them when we started the process and even bought a book for them (a few posts below). Sawyer is 19 months and oblivious to the whole thing. My children are one of the reasons we're doing this. I think this is a great learning experience. There are so many ways to make a family and I want them to CELEBRATE all families, no matter how they get there or who's in it. This experience will help them see first hand that everyone (regardless of race, sexual orientation, religion, etc) should be admired and celebrated.

Q: You get a lot of money for doing this, right? (now I haven't had any friends ask me this as it is a bit rude but my mother gets asked this a lot and I've had students ask me too).

A: I'm sure some people become a surrogate because of the money but I'm not one of them. I kind of think that the money is there to help partners think, okay there are other reasons to do this too. Not only that, but with the amount of time and energy you put in, it's nice to get some compensation.

However, a lot of money, No. I make more teaching part time, a few hours a week (with little to no complications for my body) than I'll be taking home from this experience. Most people see a number and think, wow . . . without thinking of a few things. Also, unlike other "jobs" you don't usually have to work 24 hours a day, 40 weeks a year . . . . never off, limited to what you can eat, drink, physically do, etc. I think you catch my drift.

Q; What if you have 5 or 6 babies?
A: I won't have that many babies as only a certain amount of blastocysts are placed inside the uterus.

Super Uterus!

We had the first ultrasound yesterday and everything looks good so far.

The image on the right is from our ultrasound. You will notice (at this time) there are 2 embryos, that's right two.

However, they couldn't really see a membrane. What this means is that there may be a chance that these are identical twins, versus fraternal twins. If this ends up being accurate, of the three blastocysts placed into my uterus, two didn't attach but one of the blastocysts divided into 2 embryos . . . and those 2 attached. I go back in for 2 more ultrasounds at 8 weeks and 10 weeks, so maybe the membrane will show up better or they will rule that these are, in fact, identical twins.

This is very exciting. The Intended Parents are so excited. My kids are really excited. Rick is excited that we don't have to raise twins. So pretty much it's a WIN for everyone.

My family is a bit concerned with certain Risk Factors that are more likely in multiple pregnancies, but I am going to remain positive. I am a researcher and a have no problems asking TONS of questions, so chances are I will know all the possible issues and what I can do to try to prevent them. I am a "glass half full" type of gal (in this case 2 glasses that are half full) so I'm sure it will all be great. I will get huge, but I get huge anyway. I already have been stretched- so bring it on!

What will you be doing December 2008?

I had my blood drawn for the hCG level test this morning- 7 hours later I finally hear the results. We were looking for a level of 100 to confirm the pregnancy. Anything lower and I'd need to go back on the 9th and see if it had at least doubled since the 7th . . . . but my level was 267.

I'm very excited. I was really hoping it took the first time. The transfer wasn't really hard for me but to have to go through it over and over as the Intended Parents, that I wasn't excited about.

I will go in for the first ultrasound around April 20th. Of course I'll keep you all posted. I'm sure there will be more to say the weeks leading up to that. I still have injections and medications to take until May 17th, so if a needle is involved, a blog can come up at any given time!

They gave us an estimated date of arrival as December 15, 2008 (40 weeks). We'll see if I last this time. My own Children arrived at 36 weeks, 38 weeks and 37 weeks. If history repeats itself we could be looking at Thanksgiving baby for G & S.

Newsweek Article on Surrogacy

Talk about perfect timing, eh? Newsweek has an article on Surrogacy Although, it is even more interesting to read the comments. One stated that surrogates are uneducated and poor- talk about hitting the nail on the head with Rick and I, ha! Yeah, we're pretty destitute and regarding education, I call leaving school in the 8th grade an excellent choice. (FYI- for those of you who don't really know me, I'm totally joking . . I have a Masters in Education and Rick and I have done pretty well).

Although the part that scares me is within the comments people are advertising about being surrogates and looking for a surrogate. I would advise everyone to go through a reputable agency. There are several out there, mine is Growing Generations. The other part of the company is know as Fertility Futures. Here's an article about them in W from a few months back.

I guess I'll be buying Newsweek tomorrow on my way to work. I figure I can read part of it to the kids, or at least show them the pictures. They already have the book The Kangaroo Pouch and they love it. It's a story for young children about Surrogacy told through a kangaroo mom who's helping another kangaroo family. Preston and Ruby (my 2 oldest) totally get the idea of what I'm doing thanks to the book and of course meeting the Intended Parents. We even have a photo of them on our family photo table. It's actually pretty cute because Ruby has written about them in her journal for 1st grade.

Transfer Complete- Let the bed rest begin!

Transfer Day with G & S (Intended Parents)!

9:00 am Bagels at Noah's

10:30 Get Pregnant

So, this morning at 10:30 am 3 blastocysts where placed inside my uterus.
The process feels a lot like a regular ol' Pap Smear But this time, when I walked out, I could be pregnant. That is actually one of Rick's jokes, "My wife went to LA for the weekend and came back pregnant."

After the transfer we came back to the hotel and I started my 36 hour stint of Bed rest. Here's what it looks like-

So- I'll be on rest duty for the next 36 hours. Since my own 3 kids are at home with Rick, it may actually be possible. I brought some work with me from the store and of course my computer so I should be set. There's also a nice flat panel TV on the wall, I'm just missing my own DVR. But I have a King size bed, 4 pillows and no one to fight over it with.

I'll go in April 7th for a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. Until then, I'll take it easy per the Dr. and keep my fingers crossed.

My 3 Hour Freak out . . .

I flew down to LA Thursday night and got set up in the hotel . . . The Beverly Hilton, that is!   Everything was going great until it was time for my shots.  It was the night I  had to give myself 2 shots but I  couldn't do it.  To procrastinate I decided to take a shower . . .  then dry my hair . . . then paint my nails . . . . then I loaded up the needles and began what turned into a three hour freak out.

 

I paced around, kept getting in the position, and counting 1-2-3 and when that didn't work, 3-2-1.  The movie The Replacements was on TV, then it ended- no shots completed . . . then Jay Leno started . . . and ended.  Finally, after hours of me trying to talk positively ("You can do it Kelly"), not so positively ("Don't Be Wimp"), reminders ("You've given birth 3 times, have tattoos, had piercings, you can do this") and using empathy ("These shots are the only thing standing in the way of their family,  just do it!")

I did it!  Did I mention that during the process I pricked myself a few times, not hard enough to insert the needle but hard enough to bleed . . . I think Law and Order and CSI call them "Hesitation Marks".  Of course the shots didn't hurt, I just blocked myself mentally . . . it's amazing how we can psych ourselves out over our fears.  Kind of like the first night Rick had to give me the shot.  The funny thing is I knew this, I kept telling myself this, but it still took a little over three hours!  

I was finally able to go to sleep and dream wonderful dreams of helping create a family for my friends, yeah.

Let's Get Knocked Up!

Our "Transfer Date" is set . . . . drum roll please . . . . Friday the 28th of March!

 This is when the Intended Parents Blastocysts will be placed in my uterus- oh, excuse me, I mean my beautiful uterus will receive the most gorgeous blastocysts the world has ever dreamed of .  (You think I'm joking, but the rumor is out, they are indeed gorgeous.  I hear Angelina Jolie is already trying to adopt them).  

But seriously, I almost envy those little blastocysts-  I love my house, but from what I hear, it's no where near as gorgeous as where they will be "shackin' up" for the next several months.   Feel free to doubt, but I've seen the ultrasounds . . . I know what I'm talking about :)

Anyway- I fly down Thursday night after teaching, have the transfer sometime Friday, bed rest for 24 hours and then  I fly back on Sunday.  

I have been getting ready for the transfer by taking prenatal vitamins and doing the Delestrogen shots every 3rd day.  I also started my Progesterone shots on Sunday and those will continue EVERYDAY from now until around the 8th week of pregnancy.  For those of you keeping count at home, that's 1 shot of Delestrogen every 3rd day + 1 shot of Progesterone every day = two very bruised butt cheeks.

Rick, my husband asked the other day if  "irritability" was one of the side effects from the injections.  (That would be a no, that's just a side effect of being married with 3 kids 6, 4 and 18 months).  But I have had some side effects  . . . a little weight gain, bloating and one or two I won't mention for your sake.

Well, I need to go, it's shot time!