I'm not the Mom, I'm just the Stork!

Off All Meds!

2012-02-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

I finally got the email I've been waiting for "Discontinue all meds!" Woot! Woot!

FIrst I got to discontinue the lozenges . . . then the shots . . . and finally the vaginal suppositories- and those are the worst! All the surro's I know joke about the suppositories. They are pretty gross and leave you with we all call "pasty vagina." When you are using suppositories you are single handedly keeping Carefree panty liners in business. Although, I have to say the one good thing this time is that the suppositories that Dr. Kolb prescribed came with an applicator. The last two times, Dr. Sahakian prescribed suppositories that didn't come with an applicator. TMI, I know what you're thinking, "Gesh Kelly. Stop it with the Pasty Vagina comments and the visuals of applicator free suppositories!"

Okay, Okay, I'm done . . . for now anyway! ;)

Found the perfect shirt for me!

2012-01-21T23:07:00.000-08:00

Source: etsy.com via Kelly on Pinterest

We have arms and legs!

2012-01-17T16:21:00.000-08:00

I REPEAT, WE HAVE ARMS AND LEGS! Specifically, two arms and two legs.

Here's one of the ultrasound pictures from my 10 week appointment. I love how much change happens at the very beginning. Blastocyst, to white mark to bean to something that looks like it will eventually be a baby! Today during the ultrasound, this little man was wiggling around so much. It was like he was making Uterus Angels or something . . . arms and legs flailing about! So fun!

I was also able to have my OB appointment today too. It was great seeing Dr. Park. I haven't seen him for almost a year. However, when I called to make the appointment and tell them that I was using my own insurance, they all jumped to the conclusion it was mine. Hahahahahhah, yeah, I am so done having my own babies, not to mention that THANK (enter your deity here) that this isn't mine, since my husband just bailed on me last month.

Another cool thing is that I was able to take the photo books N & D (my past IFs) made of Gideon and Harper's first year (part of my Christmas Present) to share with the office. They loved seeing how big they have gotten and I was glad I was able to share them. It's hard not being able to share tons of pictures of my surro-wonder twins, especially ones of me with them.

Dr. Park and I talked about how I was feeling (physically and emotionally) and discussed a plan of action for this pregnancy. He stated that because in my last two c-sections I didn't make it to the scheduled dates, that he'll schedule me at 38 weeks for my c-section. This will also help out in the fact that my IPs will be making a much longer journey to be with me when I deliver their son. There is no, "Quick, my water broke" flight out of Australia. I'm sure from July 15th on, I'll be crossing my legs hoping they make it! ;) We are due 8/11/12, so that would put our c-section towards the end of July.

8 weeks Check-in

2012-01-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

Had my 8 week ultrasound and blood work done this week. Things are looking great. The embryo measured 8 weeks, 2 days, so right on schedule. We were able to see the heart beat and hear it too. His heart rate was at 174. Next week, he will graduate and from 9 weeks on he'll be called a fetus.

My blood work was great too. So great, that they are starting to ween me off the meds. Dr. Kolb took me off the delestrogen shots that I had to do every three days for the last several weeks and he took me off the lozenges. I still have to take all my different vitamins and daily Progesterone shots and I'm down to three, instead of four suppositories a day. If you're interested, I did a blog entry about my daily medications/vitamins over at The Next Family site. Feel free to check it out.

I have one more ultrasound scheduled at 10 weeks, then I'll be sent to my OB. So far, no food cravings or aversions that I've noticed this time around. I am feeling good, pregnancy wise. Minimal morning sickness, like always. Although I am pretty tired. This is pretty right on for the first trimester and then with what is going on in my personal life, it makes total sense. I am looking forward to the second trimester, when my energy usually returns!

This is My Belly, I am no longer ashamed.

2011-12-30T13:22:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to do a post like this for a long time. However, I always thought I'd wait until after I was done having babies and also had my "After" tummy tuck picture to do it. And I thought I'd write it, not here, but a site I have come to love called The Shape of a Mother. I am not sure what has given me the courage to do this now, of all times, but it's time.

Is it the feeling of being out of control since my husband of 11 years told me he wanted out 16 days ago?

Is it my Surrogate Group's openness?

Is it the thought that some other woman will see my picture and see herself in a new light? See that she is still beautiful?

All the above?

You see, one of my Surrogate Groups started posting pictures of their bodies and bellies. There are only about 35 of us on this particular group and each one is all sorts of Awesome. We trust each other immensely, enough so that even though we sometimes don't feel so great about the bodies that we've been left with after our own babies and our Surro-babies, we still feel safe enough to post up pictures. Some of them are tiny, some of us are not . . . but I've found that we're all beautiful. I decided that I was going to do it too and GOD, was it freeing. To be able to show off what I try so hard to hide . . . to say, "Fuck it! This is me. This is all of me."

Now maybe after I publish this I will feel weird knowing that people out there will have seen what I've been hiding since I started having kids back in 2000 . . . but this body has nourished and grown 7 babies, 8 if we count the one I'm currently pregnant with. This body has breastfeed all of them, from a few days to over a year (depending). This body has completed my own family and has brought joy to two others, three (after July). This body has been good to me and others. This body has brought about so much joy and love. This body has been thin, tan, white, pregnant, stretched out, heavy . . . you name it. This body has seen things that some others have only dreamed about.

This body is mine. I will no longer be ashamed of the way it looks because it has been phenomenal to me and those I hold so dear. It is who I am. And in the future, if I ever get the tummy tuck, or lose more weight, whatever, it will still be mine and I will love it just the same.

Like I put on my Facebook/Twitter today after doing this, "I am Smart. I am Funny. I am Beautiful inside and out. I am a Great Mom. I am a loyal companion . . . and I need to say this aloud everyday to remind myself. My life has changed but "Kelly" will emerge . . . because I am also strong."

I decided to not take a different picture because I was sure I would've tried to get a better angle or change it to try to make it better, perhaps show more of "the girls" since they're pretty great (even more so when in a bra LOL) instead I'm posting the picture that I took when I ran into the back room at work, pulled up my top and clicked. A quick "This is my belly" picture to join the "photo movement" the women I love so much were courageous enough to do themselves.

Single Surrogate?

2011-12-26T11:54:00.000-08:00

Well, I have some bad news to report. No, not that, the baby is doing great. I have some "personal" bad news to share . . . .

Last week, we took our kids to Disneyland. It was supposed to be a magical trip leading into the Holiday Season. Well, on our drive, I was talking with my husband about why he was acting so strange. Well to make a long story short, he wants to leave our marriage. He does not want to work on the issues he has within our marriage, he is moving out.

First of all, I have to tell you that I was totally blindsided. I did not see this coming. I honestly thought we'd be married forever. I can count on one hand the amount of fights we've had in the last thirteen years together. Again, I was totally shocked.

Now- not to air my dirty laundry out there for all to read, but I thought that this was a MAJOR event within this Surrogacy, so I figured I would be honest and share. I don't know what will happen in the end (with my marriage) but I can tell you that this Surrogacy will end with a healthy baby boy being born to two amazing dads this summer. I told my IPs what happened when I saw them last week for the ultrasound and they did look worried. Who can blame them. Rick and I look so great on paper . . in our profile you see a monogamous couple that has been together for 13 years and married for 11, with three beautiful kids and two successful surrogacies under our belt. If they wanted a single mother of three children as their surrogate, they would've picked her. Unfortunately, that's what they have now and I feel awful for them. I have tried to let them know that regardless of what is happening in my personal life, I am still 100% on board for this journey.

Rick and I haven't come up with a final plan but a few things are for sure (because of the Surrogacy). We signed a contract, so we are sticking too it . . .

1. We are supposed to be monogamous . . . this means that I won't be having any sex for the next several months and if for some reason Rick decides to come back and work on our marriage (and I decide this is what I want too still) he will need to get re-screened.

2. I have daily injections that I can't do myself (psychologically and also can't reach around my boob to hit my hip) for the next few weeks and he will be stopping by to do them nightly for me.

3. No matter what we decide, we will not get divorced until after the baby is born as it could mess up legal paperwork and I need to keep my insurance the same.

4. He has stated that he'll try to not stress me out so much regarding all this, easier said than done when you spring a "separation" on someone.

Yes- this whole situation sucks. It was awful timing . . . Christmas, I'm Pregnant, etc. but I can tell you one thing for sure. Rick leaving has nothing to do with the Surrogacy (lots of people are thinking that) . . . we both agreed to do this again. I'm not sure if he's going through a mid-life crisis or what but my goal for the next year is to keep myself, my three kids and one embryo/fetus as happy and healthy as possible.

Oh and on a side note, guess I won't be getting that tummy tuck after all. Damn it!

One Little Bean!

2011-12-21T20:54:00.000-08:00

My IPs flew in today for the first ultrasound. One little embryo snuggled in for the journey! They measured the embryo, the sac and yolk. We were able to see a heart beat and even get a heart rate for them. Everyone was very excited. Later we had dinner before I drove back home.

Tomorrow, they'll be driving up to see where I live and meet my kids. They'll also get to meet my mom. Actually, my mom has been able to meet each of my IPs, although usually it's at the birth, so I'm excited she'll be able to meet my new guys too.

Sorry I don't have a picture . . . since the guys were there they got them and I forgot to take a picture. I'll see if they'll send me a picture of the photo so I can share. If not, you'll see one in 2 more weeks.

It was weird to see only one baby on the ultrasound since the last two times were twins . . . but don't get me wrong, I'm going to love only carrying one this time, after two sets of twins, it should be cake ;)

It Is Confirmed!

2011-12-06T15:52:00.000-08:00

This morning I drove an hour and fifteen minutes for a blood test that took 5 minutes, turned around and drove and hour and a half back. It sucks that there's not a closer place to do my monitoring. Especially since I have to go back again in two days. I swear, my RE this time is killing me with all the blood drawls and ultrasounds, etc. There are a few places that are closer for blood but they don't have same day results- BOO!

Anyway, enough of the bitching, it's all for a good reason . . . .

I got a call from HRC several hours later that my Beta was 273. Now before you start thinking twins, since both of my last Beta's were in the mid to high 200s and they were twins . . . this time my Beta was 12 days past my transfer, not 10 days. Since this time is 2 days longer, I feel pretty safe we have one baby in there! Woot! Woot! Won't have an ultrasound until around Christmas but I feel very confident.

So far my uterus (magic fountain) has played nice . . .

You want 2 girls . . . WISH GRANTED!
You want a set of boy/girl twins . . . WISH GRANTED!
You want one boy . . . (so far so good) . . . .

Happy Third Birthday Sweet Girls!

2011-12-03T17:19:00.000-08:00

Last weekend while in the Bay Area to celebrate Thanksgiving (a day late) we also were able to swing by to celebrate Natasha and Anjali's third birthday.

Here are some fun pictures from our day with my first Surrogate family.

When we first got there of course the kids (and George and Rick) surrounded the PS3

Here's Ruby holding Natasha

Here are the girls Birthday Cakes. Natasha chose a pink pig and Anjali chose a blue fish

Time to blow out the candles

Here's Natasha

and next was Anjali

We had a great time and before we left, we made sure to take a picture. Not sure why George sat so far away LOL

Our visit was way too quick, as we had to get back and we knew holiday weekend traffic might be horrific.

It's Pee Time!

2011-11-30T21:38:00.000-08:00

Last week I had my transfer. So here I sit at 6dp5dt, six days past a five day transfer, and I got the go ahead from my IFs to do an at home pregnancy test. Now before we proceed, I'd like to revisit a conversation that took place in the transfer room. Now, I'm going to summarize, instead of quoting here . . .

Dr. K- Your uterus looks perfect.

Kelly- Thanks!

* Kelly's Uterus (blushes) *

Dr. K- We're only putting in one embryo. It is slow growing.

Kelly's Uterus- CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

I have to admit that I was a little worried. Even though my IFs only want one child at a time and my OB and I would both prefer that I only carry one baby this time, it was a little scary that they were only putting in one . . . and then to tell me in so many words that it wasn't an "excellent" embryo. But I then told myself . . . we (my uterus and I) could do this. We had to.

So after the transfer I tried to put our conversation behind me and think good thoughts. I took my own advice, positive uterine talk, "I am a magic fountain."

For the next day I tried to be as lazy as possible, taking my bed rest very seriously. I started to notice that perhaps this would be a lucky trip when I started noticing my numbers around. Let me explain. I have a few lucky numbers that I always use when I play roulette and I saw them in a few different places during my trip to LA.

29-3-11-33-22

First, my room

Then a painting in my room (that's a 3 on the horse if you can't see it)

After I took a shower I noticed a sticker on my towel

And then I go to my transfer

I never saw 22 or maybe I did before I realized I was seeing my lucky numbers. Now I know it seems silly, but in a situation like this, I'll take all the luck I can get! I don't typically see my numbers all around so I thought all this is pretty cool. I know that all of a sudden this has turned into a longer post than you wanted . . . so back to the beginning.

I'm at 6dp5dt. I've had "tingly boobs" for the last few days, which is usually my clue that I'm pregnant. So I thought it would be a good time to start testing yesterday. So yesterday morning- negative. I was surprised because I have "tingly boobs". So I tried again around dinner time. Negative. I was dumbfounded. Then I reminded myself, they only put in one. I got a faint positive last time at 4dp5dt, but that was with twins. So right before I went to bed I peed again and I thought I saw a very faint positive, VERY FAINT. It would be a negative to a normal woman but we Surrogates have amazing vision when it comes to analyzing pregnancy tests.

This morning I decided to get out my less confusing digital test and here's what I got

And in case someone can't interpret the words YES, here's a different one for you

Next is my Beta Test on December 6th. That will be a confirmation of the positive test and that things are still going in the right direction. I'm just hoping that the "one slow growing embryo" doesn't split. Remember, an embryo splitting isn't a new thing for me.

For now- a big Congratulations to the Intended Parents and maybe a "Good Job" for my uterus. That makes me Three for Three on positive transfers and this one really needed to be timed right. Now, if I get the job I'm applying for, my delivery will be during the few months I'm not teaching- PERFECT!! As my fellow surro said, "Only you and your fanfucking AWESOME uterus can turn, "lesser quality" eggs into babIES! yes I said babIES!!" All I have to say to that is Baby Angele, BABY. ;)

Transfer Time!

2011-11-27T00:09:00.000-08:00

Sorry it's taken me a few days, but I've been busy with family since I returned from my embryo transfer.

So to make a long story short . . .

Monday 11/21- flew to LA after work. Met up with other Surros Misti and Stacie for dinner

Tuesday 11/22- Arrived at HRC Fertility and was told I would transfer on Thanksgiving day instead because embryos were looking good . . . 5 day transfer (instead of 3 day).

Skyped with my IPs (who couldn't be there with me).

Hung out with Stacie all day, including lunch with other Surrogate friends Andrea and Laura

Stacie and I tried to crash Growing Generations Offices' but we were too late, they had all left for the day. BOO!

Went to The Grove and found the perfect shade of red lipstick (that has been a goal for several years).

Wednesday 11/23- Hung out with Stacie in the morning. She gave me my shot (took several tries) before she flew back home.

That night, played with my new red lipstick

Thursday 11/24- Headed over to HRC early in the morning. Transferred one nice looking (but "slow growing") embryo into my welcoming uterus.

Here I am in the reflection of the window (can see the ultrasound machine, weanie wand and me half naked)

The Embryo!

The Embryo nestled into my lovely uterus (the white streak on the left)

I then went back to the hotel where I settled in for a full day of bedrest (more like "lazy time"). I spent my time grading Quizzes, Latex Projects and watching a marathon of The Twilight Zone and Friends Thanksgiving episodes. I was also able to Skype again with my IPs.

I also got this Good Luck Video from Natasha

Friday 11/25- Flew into the bay area to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family and hang out until Sunday, when we go to George and Sanj's to celebrate my Surrogirlies THIRD birthday!

****My Beta (blood test to determine pregnancy) happens on December 6th. Even though Dr. Kolb told me the embryo wasn't growing as fast as he'd like he assured me that the chances of a successful transfer are still good. I was a little nervous about his "slow growing" statements and of course only implanting one is an "all or nothing" scenario but I am staying positive.

It is now Sunday (very early) morning and I am having a few "boob issues". They have been a little tingly (usually my sign that I'm pregnant) and really heavy. We shall see . . .

Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-11-17T22:19:00.000-08:00

My birthday was November 3rd. I turned 37, which I think makes me the world's oldest surrogate ;) No, I'm kidding but sometimes I feel that way. Sure I'm quickly approaching 40 but my uterus doesn't look a day over 22!

I wanted to share with you the best present I received this year

How cute are my surro-girlies?! I know what you're thinking, they look so big. Well, they'll be turning THREE in about a week or so, if you can believe that. And like every year since they've been born, my family and I have been invited to celebrate their birthday with them. (God, I love George and Sanj!)

I have their presents already wrapped and ready to go. Now I just need to go get knocked up next week and then go celebrate with my surro-girlies that weekend. Pictures to follow!

Game On!

2011-11-16T18:33:00.000-08:00

I heard back today and it looks like I fly out Monday the 21st (after teaching) for a Tuesday, November 22nd (if they go 3 day) or Thanksgiving Day (if they go 5 day) Transfer.

Even though we ended up being 4 days later than the tentative schedule, I'll still be delivering in July or August, which is perfect if I get my new job. The EDD would be 8/11/12. My own kids came at 36, 37 and 38 weeks. My surro twins came at almost 39 weeks (I know, right?!) and 37 weeks.

I will be bringing my lucky green underwear and will be re-visiting my transfer blogs from the last two times, taking a stroll down
Memory Lane . . .

From my first transfer ever . . . . March 2008

Written at my last transfer February 2010

So here's to positive thinking and hoping for First Transfer Success. I am 2 for 2 so for . . . hoping we can let it ride!

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Program

2011-11-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

Do you hear that? It's the sound of brakes . . .

So I got an email from Growing Generations today saying that instead of Harvesting, the Egg Donor has to continue to be monitored. Her next appointment is the 16th. If things are good she may harvest on the 17th, if not, more monitoring. Ugh! If you haven't figured it out yet, that means I will definitely not be transferring this Friday.

I am sooooo stressed out by this. Things were coming together so nicely. I wanted to transfer in November and when things were looking bad, they turned around and squeezed us in. I only had a few "black-out" dates, dates that won't work for me and they missed them all. I would've transferred on a Friday and been back in time to teach 7:30am on Monday. Now I don't know. I was really hoping to not miss any days teaching and had told them (and just reminded them) that I can't do a Monday and Wednesday . . I can do OR if need be but not both. We'll see what happens.

It's just so hard because I don't want to be the glitch . . . but at the same time I need to protect my future. I was hired as Long Term Temp at the College I've taught at for the last 9 years and now, there is a Full Time Tenure Track Position Open (with mainly Human Sexuality) and I'm not about to blow my chances by missing a week of work (Monday AND Wednesday). I have waited too long for this. At the same time I don't want to jepordize the guys chances of transferring ASAP either . . . not sure what the options are . . . . Can we just decided on a 3 day or 5 day instead waiting to make the decision? Can they have the ED "hover" on meds so she can harvest a few days later?

*Have I mentioned that all this is happening with elevated hormone levels? The fact that I'm still typing, instead of chucking this computer across the room is a big deal*

Honestly, I'd rather transfer around Thanksgiving and miss that than miss teaching. I wrote an email to the RE saying as much. Thanksgiving is NOT blacked out. I can eat Turkey with my family next weekend.

So everyone, keep your fingers crossed that I have one more thing to be Thankful for.

Should know very soon . . .

2011-11-13T12:26:00.000-08:00

Today is the day that my IPs Egg Donor goes in to see if she's ready to "harvest". So, I should know in the next day or two the exact dates of my embryo transfer! As of now it's set for the 18th for a 3 day transfer or the 20th if a 5 day transfer. I still have yet to get my travel arrangements set, waiting for todays information.

I can't believe that I'll be pregnant (again) in less than a week. Will keep you posted.

Ready? Set? GO!

2011-10-26T23:20:00.000-07:00

I received my IVF calendar Monday night and had to schedule an ultrasound for today! Luckily they were able to squeeze me in. All my ultrasounds and blood draws will be done at Northern California Fertility Medical Center

My uterus looked great (did you expect anything else?) so I start meds tonight. Yes Tonight! And talk about quick shipping- look what arrived today

I was amazed at the size of the box (larger than the last two times) but since Dr. Kolb has a different protocol , I should've guessed it.

I haven't had time to put it in my cool organizer yet (I actually never cleared out the old stuff) but here it all is pulled out and on my island

So shot #1 . . . this time Lupron in the abdomen and it was NO PROBLEM. I guess the positive of birthing seven kids is the belly I got left with, enough adipose tissue to not feel it at all. So bring it on Mr. Lupron, Bring.It.On.

Squeaky Wheel? Meet Oil.

2011-10-24T18:29:00.000-07:00

I sent my agency another reminder that November would be perfect for the embryo transfer and that I was freaking out that we were being pushed into December, not the best time for me. Apparently the ED was sent her legal documents mid-September but the law group never followed up, until they sent them again mid-October.
**CUE MY EMAIL**

Well, today I got an email with tenative dates . . . and they're in November. As long as the ED sends in her items ASAP and agrees with the dates, we'll be moving- and quick!

10/26/11 - Ultrasound (US)/Estradiol level (E2)-If OK, start Lupron . . . . you read that correctly- in TWO DAYS I start injections!

10/28/28/11- Take last ACTIVE birth control pill and expect a period

11/01/11- Ultrasound. -US/E2-If OK, start Estrogen too

11/08/11 Ultrasound.- US/E2-Lining check

11/15/11- Ultrasound.- US/E2-Lining check

11/15/28/11- Possible Progesterone Start

11/18/11-Possible Embryo Transfer -Day 3/ GSN

11/20/11- Possible Embryo Transfer -Day 5

YEP! A possible embryo transfer on the 18th of November. NOVEMBER!!!

I am so excited and I hope it works out . . . those dates would be perfect . . . not having to miss any teaching days, just my store days. Woot! Woot!

I am a little nervous that Dr. Kolb's medication protocal is different than Dr. Sahakians. I am used to Dr. S's . . . I got pregnant on the first try both times . . . I've never had to take Lupron. I am sure it will all work out.

Using an IVF Due Date Calculator, it would put my due date at August 7th- which would be PERFECTION!! I have never made it to a due date . . . have delivered my own at 36-38 weeks and both sets of twins at 37-almost 39 weeks . . . so it will probably be more like a July due date . . . which could have me back teaching when my semester begins, albeit, still a bit sore.
But I'll TAKE IT!

Knock, Knock! Who's There?

2011-10-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

. . . Not patience, that's for sure! I am really trying to hold on to some sort of hope for a November transfer but I think I just need to let the idea go because I'm really stressing myself out. In my last two journeys, I didn't really have a "need to be pregnant by" date, so when we had issues with the RE office not knowing George and Sanj had picked an Egg Donor or when a different Egg Donor backed out the week of the transfer, I was able to shake it off.

But this time, not so much. First let me say that in the grand scheme of things, I know it will all work out some way, even if not my Plan A or Plan B . . . but if we could transfer in November (and if it takes the first time, like my last two transfers) that would have me delivering before my teaching semester begins, which, this time is something I'm aiming for. The last two times I was teaching part time at the College, and this time I may be too but for now I'm full time (temporary) and I'm hoping my department ends up being able to hire a full time (tenure track) Assistant Professor. I know there are a lot of "what ifs" in this scenario, but I'm really hoping to deliver in July or August, which is doable with a November transfer. Hell, even then, that's me going to work just a week or two after a c-section, but it's better than losing an entire semester or part of it.

As of today, our Egg Donor is finally Medically cleared, so we can proceed, right? Wrong! Apparently her Legal Clearance hasn't been issued yet. I only have a few more days for this to work for November, so I really hope she gets her paperwork in ASAP. I'm actually not quite sure why it hasn't been done already. I mean, she screened mid-September.

********************* DEEP BREATH *********************

Sooooooooooooooo, please join with me to pray to the Surrogacy Gods to help light a fire under my Egg Donors butt, albeit, probably a very cute butt, she is an Egg Donor after all!)

Birthday Wishes!

2011-10-16T17:48:00.000-07:00

So last week Gideon and Harper turned ONE! It is so crazy how time flies. I sent off the gifts, I hope they like them and my family and I recorded ourselves singing Happy Birthday and emailed it over.

I think we may be able to see them in December when we go to LA (if they aren't in NY by then) but I can't wait to see them. It's been a few months and now they're walking and babbling up a storm. I need to squeeze some babies! ;)

I did receive a beautiful bouquet from the guys, celebrating One Year since their babies made their entrance into the world.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY WONDER TWINS! Time to update your ticker!

Oh, and only one more month until Natasha and Anjali turn Three . . . I may even be pregnant by then.

'Twas the Night Before . . .

2011-10-11T20:45:00.000-07:00

One year ago today I was admitted into the hospital after a full day of monitoring. My c-section was supposed to be the a few days later but I was progressing so they felt I should deliver earlier. At one point my IPs called and left me a message about the upcoming events. I thought the voicemail was so great because you could hear the excitement in their voices, so I decided to keep it in hopes of sharing it with them a year later.

So . . . . tonight I forwarded the voicemail to them as a reminder of where they were a year ago, the day before they became parents. So amazing!

I almost deleted it several times on accident, but thankfully, it survived an entire year. I know I've said it before, but time flies! Tomorrow my surro wonder twins turn ONE! So crazy!

Love this!

2011-10-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

George found this cartoon in the New Yorker a while back and sent it to me with words of Good Luck for my Match Meeting. I just realized that I never shared it with you all. So enjoy.

Still Here, Still Waiting . . .

2011-10-02T09:33:00.000-07:00

The Egg Donor went in several days ago, so just waiting on her clearance. Once that happens, they will move onto contracts with her, get us a calendar and we'll be sprinting towards an embryo transfer. If we hear in the next week or so, we could be looking at a mid November transfer . . . fingers crossed.

Hopefully it won't be Thanksgiving, since we're hosting at our house this year, but I'd rather that than December! I am actually hoping to find out we're pregnant before Thanksgiving . . . just one more thing to be Thankful for. Of course, being 2 for 2 on the transfer front, I'm a little nervous that I'll finally get a failed transfer, I would rather not (for my IPs and also for my own scheduling 10 months from now). So I'm going to keep positive and just know that things are going to continue to go well. After all, M and S need a baby and I'm in the state of mind to help that happen!

Waiting . . . and waiting . . . and waiting . . .

2011-09-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

A little update . . .

So as I said before, we were hoping for a late October or November transfer but now it seems like I'll be lucky if I'm pregnant before 40. Just Kidding, it won't be that long . . . but man, I hate it when things don't move seamlessly . . . which pretty much never happens in Surrogacy, so I should be used to it.

I got an email from my case coordinator at Growing Generations letting me know that the Egg Donor won't be able to make it into the RE’s office for her physical screening until mid-October. I guess Dr. Kolb is on vacation and then so is she . . . but that still doesn't count the other weeks. I don't mean to complain, just vent . . .. because It will take at least two weeks to get her results after the 12th.

I usually don't really care when this all goes down, but I was really trying for my last journey to not mess with my teaching gig as much. In the past, because I was carrying twins I was taken off of work early, so I missed the whole semester. This time around I was hoping that because our goal is one baby, and we were looking at an early fall transfer, I was thinking a summer birth and I wouldn't need to take off even one day. We'll see .. . . fingers crossed that we transfer by at least mid December.

***********UPDATE****************

Woot! Woot! I just got an email from GG saying that the Egg Donor can go get her screening done THIS WEDNESDAY! YAY!!!! I guess the squeaky wheel gets oil! I had emailed GG asking why she couldn't get in earlier (since there was 4 weeks and only 2 were blocked for travel of the DR and ED) . . . YAY!!!!!!

Echo . . . . Echo

2011-09-02T21:35:00.000-07:00

The hardest thing about having my own blog and blogging for The Next Family is trying not to repeat myself. I planned on writing an update here the other day but my life has been crazy lately . . . kids started school, I'm teaching Full Time at the College this semester, had to travel out of town to meet my IPs last week and for a family event and to order clothes for next Spring for my Store, Ruby Q's. I really did plan on writing it but I'm exhausted . . . so here is the link to the Update I posted on the other blog about our AWESOME in person meeting with my IP's last week.

I wanted to do it justice on this site too but seriously, I'm still running around like a crazy woman . . . so to summarize . . . WE LOVE THEM, WE LOVE THEM, WE LOVE THEM. I am so excited to proceed in this journey. M and S, my IPs, have given me permission to blog about our journey. They said it was okay to use their names, but I'm going to just do initials. When we were down in LA with them, one of the things I kept thinking is how George and Sanj would like them too. I now have this day dream of a year or two from now, my family flying over to Australia to go visit M, S and their baby and meeting up with George, Sanj and my surro-girlies (Sanj has relatives close to where M and S live). . . ONE BIG, HAPPY, PICNIC! Ahhhhh LOVE!

Now, the only update I have now, that I didn't have for TNF blog was that it looks like we may have our Calendar by the end of September . . . which would mean an October transfer . . . which could mean July delivery . . . which for my teaching gig would be Perfect!

More later!

Just a few more days . . .

2011-08-20T11:44:00.001-07:00

This Wednesday, Rick and I fly down to LA to meet the Intended Parents in person. It is actually working out perfect in that they already had a trip to the U.S. in the works and my kids will be with their grandparents that day . . . so it was the perfect time to jet down to LA really quick.

We met them on Skype a few weeks back, which was great but face to face is better. I hope they're ready to meet all this (I'm circling my uterus with my pointed finger) . . . and I guess I should've warned them that I'm a HUGGER! ;)

Baby Selling is NOT Surrogacy

2011-08-16T10:52:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to share the link to the blog I did at The Next Family Site. It's my opinions/response about the Theresa Erickson Baby Selling Ring that hit the news last week.

YOU CAN CLICK HERE TO GET THERE

I am not sure we will ever know the entire truth, it is hard to when admitting one thing or another could land you in jail, whether you are the mastermind, the "Surrogate" or the Parents.

Updates!

2011-08-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

First of all the Kick starter project I was trying to help get funding has reached their goal! Two hundred and twenty three backers came through with over $25,000 so this great documentary can be made. I am also happy to report that the surrogate in the project, Kelli, is pregnant! I am so excited, not only that More Than a Village- a Tale of Procreation will be made but also that Ian and Troy's family is growing as I type! Congrats everyone!

Next, in a more personal update, Rick and I had our Skype Match Meeting with our potential IPs from Australia and it went very well. We are matched and set to meet the guys in person when they are in the U.S. later this month. I am not going to blog too much because my blogging is one thing that we haven't discussed yet. That will definitely be a topic we will talk about in a few weeks when we meet. I did have written in my Profile that blogging is a MUST this time. I can keep my IP's identity as private as they would like (similar to my first journey where I didn't mention George and Sanj by name until after the birth, with their permission) but that I need to be matched with a couple that doesn't mind me blogging about my journey. It was really hard last time having to be so secretive/vague for (now) obvious reasons, but I can't do that again. And believe me, I was asked.

But I digress . . .

I love reading the IP's Profile and Match Meetings are fun, although a bit nerve wracking. It is a cross between a first date and job interview. I'm going to hold off talking match meetings now because that can be a whole other post, along the lines of the post I did about What to Expect at a Transfer but know that it went great and we're very excited to be moving forward with them. If things get going quickly (picking an Egg Donor, Contracts, etc) we may be trying for an October or November Transfer . . . right around the time Gideon and Harper turn One and Natasha and Anjali turn Three . . . and Sawyer turns Five and Ruby turns Ten . . . and will put the birth close to Preston's Ninth Birthday . . . . Holy Cow I've birthed a lot of kids :) LOL

This will be my final journey and I'm going to make the most of it. I am going to enjoy it as much as I can knowing that after this, all my blogging will be updates on my surro kiddos and advice for other Surrogates. Ahhhh, the end of an era . . . but not quite yet.

Location. Location. Location?

2011-07-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened in the last few days. I finally got my Official "Cleared" email from Growing Generations. Now that I'm good to go, they were able to send the Intended Parents (IPs) my profile.

They had actually sent me the IPs profile a few weeks ago. Rick and I looked it over and we thought they sounded splendid. I have always said one of the best things about Growing Generations is their ability to help match you with the perfect IPs. As long as you're honest with GG about what you're looking for in your journey, chances are the profile that you get will be spot on.

Getting the Intended Parents profile is like Christmas. It is so exciting. You get an increased heart rate and butterflies once you realize the profile is actually in your email inbox! When you read through it and look at the pictures, you immediately start thinking of what the next year will look like. It's like seeing pictures of a house you are thinking of buying- you start to imagine your furniture in the living room, the kids will love that backyard, with a kitchen like that, I might actually cook more, etc. And you haven't even seen it in person yet! Surrogacy matching is very similar.

First of all, my potential IPs are in Australia. Even though we aren't matched, I already feel the need to learn about their home. After all, I know there's a lot more to it than The Wiggles. It is crazy- all of a sudden I have this feeling that I need to learn the didgeridoo ;)

I am glad that I am excited about this because I'm also a little nervous. Historically, I have had major reservations about doing an International Surrogacy. I just had this feeling that I'd never see them again and I couldn't imagine that, especially now after having 2 sets of IPs that I continue to talk with and visit. I have lucked out that up till this journey, my matches were in California with me . . . but as I've learned from other surrogates, regardless of where the IPs live, it doesn't guarantee you'll see them a lot through the process or after. So, when Growing Generations asked me to rethink my view of International Surrogacy I did. They said that they had a great match for me. They were everything I was looking for except they did not live in the United States. I said okay, I'd take a look at it . . . and they couldn't be more right! After working so closely with Growing Generations over the last four years I think they know me better than I thought.

So yesterday, before they left for the day, they sent the guys my profile . . . which was 9:30 am the next day their time (they're 17 hours ahead). I was told I'd hear back in a day or two and that sometimes with the time difference, it could be a little longer. This is when you start getting nervous . . . Will they like me? Are they making fun of the pictures I choose? (Damn It! I knew I shouldn't have used that picture) Have they already shared my profile with their friends or family for input/ridicule? And you start to doubt yourself. And no matter who you are, how many times you've done this, or how many of your blog followers who are IPs say that you're awesome & you're going to make someone happy, etc. you doubt yourself. I remember doing this last time too.

Really! When I woke up this morning I was going to blog all about it. About how I got cleared and how they sent off my profile . . . about my new found curiosity with Australia- but then I decided NO. Not yet.

Because what if they came back and said NO straightaway?

What if they didn't think I was as marvelous as I think I am?

What if they were luke warm about me?

What if they saw how great I was (who are we kidding right?) but they didn't think we'd be a good match? (Oh)

What if?

What if?

What if?

It happens to the best of us. Even though I always talk up my uterus and joke and brag about my "beautiful uterus" or that my uterus was over looked for a GLAAD award, I still have these thoughts.

However, this morning I heard from Growing Generations that the guys liked my profile. YAY! So now we move to the next step. They already had a trip booked to the U.S. at the end of August, so that's when we'll try to plan the official, in-person, Match Meeting. For now, Growing Generations is going to set up an informal Skype meeting for us to talk more and introduce each other. This brings about more random thoughts . . . What should I wear? What if I say something stupid?

I do know one thing for sure. I will have to prep my husband who thinks he's funnier than he really is at times. For those of you who watch Modern Family, I swear the character Phil was loosely based on my Rick.

* No stories about his experiences (or lack thereof) with Boomerangs

* Under no circumstance should he refer at all to the movie Crocodile Dundee (in conversation or accessory choices)

* And he can't utter anything about Dingo's eating someones' baby.

* Even though he can do a great Steve Irwin impression, the match meeting is not the place for it. Actually, I'm not sure there is any place where that really works anymore.

* The words "Shrimp on the Barbie" should not leave his lips, not even once.

I am sure Rick will do great (with some ground rules) and my kids seem pretty excited too. They all voted that we should help one more family have a baby and once Ruby heard they were from Australia, where one of her favorite shows (H2O) is made, she was 100% on board. The more I think about it the more excited I get. And maybe someday, we'll take the kids to Australia, you know, to say Hi really quick.

Pool? New Belly? Pool? New Belly? Damn it!

2011-07-13T23:17:00.000-07:00

So my husband and I are getting estimates about getting an in ground pool built. We figure since our home is worth half what we bought it for and we're under a good $250,000, might as well get cozy for the next few decades we'll be living here. I'd say LOL, but it's more like WOL (weep out loud).

This is something we planned to do when we first bought this house almost six years ago- it's kind of how I agreed to move to a town of less than 6,000 with a handful of eating out choices and a good hour from the nearest GAP and Banana Republic. A pool would be worth it. Then we decided that at gazebo and hot tub would suffice and be tens of thousands less. It worked for a bit. Then later, we decided to invest money in a friends start -up (instead of getting a pool) . . . the business went bankrupt and we never got our money back.

Let me preface this next part by explaining that I've said from the get go, once I'm completely done having babies for others, I'm getting this extra skin hacked off and my boobs put back where they belong. Birthing 7 babies (which included two sets of twins) has done quite the number on my body. So I finally decided that I'd do one more surrogacy, the third is the charm, right? Which means putting off the "mommy makeover" for another year or so . . . but I know it will be there.

Now . . . here we are again in our pool discussions . . . we're setting up a few consults and Rick tells me, "You know, it's either a pool or your new belly" . . . What?! Why can't I do both? (stupid question) RIck is still not sold on the pool totally, it is tons of money, but I think he thought I'd say Belly. Silly man, doesn't he know me as a mom yet (after almost 10 years of being one?) . . . I will pick my kids over myself EVERY TIME . . . so if we do end up going through with the pool this summer or next year, I will be the lady in the swim dress, with the pounds of excess belly skin floating while teaching my kids how to do a proper flip-turn.

Unless anyone knows if there's a kickstarter for putting surrogates back together? I can post BEFORE and AFTER Pictures . . . and let the donations start rolling in? Haha! I may be onto something.

My Newest Goal . . . Getting this Documentary Funded

2011-07-11T12:27:00.001-07:00

My post at The Next Family this week is about a Surrogacy Documentary that is looking for funding on Kickstarter.com

I have pledged $50 and am trying to spread the word . . . when you read my post you'll see why . . .

YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY POST HERE!

To pledge (become a backer) you can either CLICK HERE or I have a Widgit Set up at the side of my blog (look for it, no down, a little more down, YEP! There it is) :) You can pledge $1 or more . . . I'm sure they'd gladly take whatever you can pledge.

I'm so excited to see this film be made. Positive PR on Surrogacy AND one on a gay, interracial couple to boot!

LET'S DO THIS!!!!

The Screening . . . Part 2- Psychological

2011-07-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

The Screening . . . Part 1- Physical can be found HERE.

*I just realized that I didn't mention Rick, my husband's screening. Because he had his initial medical screening in 2007 with GG, he doesn't have to fly to LA again each time. In 2009 and this week, I was given a lab request (blood drawl) that Rick can take to a local Quest Diagnostics that will fulfill his part of the screening.

On to Part 2, the Psychological Screening!

I left Dr. Kolb's office in a great mood. Nailed it! ;)
I can't report that they threw a Ticker Tape Parade for my Uterus, but I could totally tell they wanted too . . . I mean, like, if they had more time to prepare. It's not their fault. I'm sure when GG emailed them about me doing my screening, they wrote down Kelly Rummelhart but didn't realize it was THE KELLY RUMMELHART.

So, onto Growing Generations Office to complete my Screening. When the cab pulled up in front of the building, for a moment I thought I was at the wrong place. I had totally forgot that they moved across the street since the last time I was there. I got in the elevator and took it up to the 13th floor. As I walked out, I peered down the hallway . . . ah, there it is. Behind these doors, the very FIRST STEP of a creating a family takes place

I rang the bell and was greeted by a few of their Staff, including CEO and Co-Owner, Stuart. We chatted for a while and then they introduced me to another Surrogate Candidate that just happened to be from Sacramento. (I swear, Sacramento is a Hot Bed for Surros!) I told her all about how I LOVED being a Growing Generations Surrogate and how once she is cleared, to email me to join our Facebook Group.

Dr. Kim Bergman wasn't there that day (kind of a bummer since she was such a support in my last journey and right after), so instead I spoke with her intern Trudi. It was very similar to the last two times I had spoken with the psychologist at Growing Generations (Fertility Counseling Services, Inc). We discussed several things like . . .
* Why I wanted to be a surrogate.
* What my last two journeys were like.
* What I was looking for in IPs and a match (during/after) and What my ideal IPs would be like.
* If I had any plans for the money.
* Who would be the most supportive in my journey.
* If there was anyone in my life that wasn't okay with my decision, or wouldn't be supportive
. . . . and many other topics.

It was nice to talk about surrogacy and my hopes and dreams. The whole time Trudi was listening and typing notes on her laptop. She typed several more letters than just "SHE BE CRAZY, OH HELL NO!" So I think I'm good!

Later I took my psychological assessment . . . this is always my favorite. A few of the questions are exactly like an activity I facilitate in the Human Sexuality class I teach. I am in the Psychology Department, so I use the activity it to teach my students about Social Desirability within surveys and questionnaires. I know at other agencies, the surrogates take the Psychological Exam at home with a scantron sheet. At Growing Generations, it's on a computer. I'll take a mouse over a #2 Pencil any day!

The first time I took the test, I giggled through several questions but the second and third time, besides laughing, I tried to think of what type of meaning they are getting from my answers. And sometimes, questions come up that I know I'm answering "undesirably" but I am being honest.

Some of my favorites . . .

* Yes, I do enjoy talking about Sex. After all, it is my job. Does it look better if I say I get paid well for it? No! Wait!

* True?! No False! No True! Damn it! What is considered "Unusual"?
I have some pretty "Non-Vanilla" friends so my gage of "usual" is a bit off kilter. ;)

The question, "Much of what is happening to me now seems to have happened to me before," is equally difficult.
* Yes, this is my third time taking this test . . . I have flown to LA several times in the last year . . . I have stayed in two different Westin hotels in the last week, I have been to a fertility doctor before . . . AUGH!!!!! What do you want from me??!!!!

So now, with both my psychological and physical screenings behind me. We just sit and wait to hear that we've cleared. I am feeling very good about it. Rick and I have been cleared two times before and I didn't get escorted out of the building by security . . . . and I'd say that was a positive sign in itself!

Allie the Ally's 2011 Pride Adventure

2011-06-30T22:47:00.000-07:00

So as I stated in my last post, my friend Stacie thought we should bring my uterine plush, Allie the Ally to Pride with us this year . . . a la Flat Stanley adventures. Allie and I thought that was a splendid idea!

So Friday Allie and I drove to Rocklin to pick up fellow surrogates Stacie and Heather- I am sure you remember them from our adventure to Pride last year.

Anyway, the ~~three~~ uh, I mean four of us started our drive to San Francisco . . . but not before stretching out the ol' uterus and "smelling the flowers"

We settled into The Westin and waited for our other surro friend, Katie, to join us. When she arrived, we went out to eat and had a few drinks.

my apologies about "the rack" shot but we were trying to get one of Allie without me holding her up . . . drinks hit her pretty hard, especially since she doesn't drink very often and last Pride she was carrying a set of wonder twins, so it was a "Dry" Pride.

After dinner the five of us decided to head to Castro via Muni. Here's Allie at the Castro Station

and of course, whenever in Castro, you have to stop by Hot Cookie!

We walked around for awhile, taking in all the excitement and then, because we are four old, married, straight ladies, decided to head back to the hotel around 1:00 am. Of course, Allie wanted to party it up but I have the brain, so I decide where my legs take us. Here she is at Harvey Milk Plaza!

Saturday we just walked around the City and you'll never guess who surprised us at Brunch . . .

George was there too but he was taking this picture of Sanj, my surro girlies and me, so he's not pictured :( But he was there and we had the best brunch ever. It was great to visit with them and get some surro girlie time!

Sunday was PARADE time so we got our 2011 Pride shirts on, Allie ironed her rainbow cape and we picked our spot

After, we attended the Official San Francisco Pride VIP Party in the historic City Hall Rotunda. I'm not sure we'll attend this party again, as it left lots to be desired, but at least the "cover" was a donation.

Virgin Atlantic was a sponsor so Allie and I decided to do an impression of the two of us flying to LA for my Surrogacy Screening

Here we all are

And here's Allie in all her Glory!

We are discussing perhaps attending Pride in New York next year, or maybe Heather's home town of Chicago? We'll see, we have a year to plan (and we may have to work around a pregnancy or two or three (since Heather, Stacie and I are all thinking of third journeys).

Of course, if a Pride Parade decides to have Allie, Me, or any of my surro friends as one of their Grand Marshals, then I guess we'll go there.

Have uterus, will travel!

The Screening . . . Part 1- Physical

2011-06-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

I flew down to LA this week for my physical and psychological screening for my third journey as a gestational surrogate. It's always great to go to Growing Generations, say Hi and meet the people I have been phoning and emailing for the last few months/years.

* Now before I go any further, I feel I have to mention that I will post about our Surro Trip to Pride this year, I promise. I just can only do so much at once and now it's a little hard to determine what I'll post here and what I need to save for my blog on The Next Family. I'm still working this all out, so I hope there isn't too much repetition in the next week or so. *

Now, back to the Screening. Right before I left for SF Pride my period started, so I had to schedule my screening appointment several days later. Even though I was going to be gone from Friday morning to Sunday evening, I thought it would be easier to travel once I got back versus Fourth of July Weekend, so I planned to fly out Monday afternoon. Now usually, I fly out, screen and fly back all in the same day, but boy is that exhausting. They'd usually have me on a 6:30 am flight, which means at the airport at 5:30, so I'd have to leave my house at 4:15, which means getting up around 3:30 am . . . . . and then having a full day and making it back to my door around 10:00 pm. Historically, this has worked because I hate to be gone overnight but lately, I have realized it's nice to get away and not stress the whole time I'm away from my own children.

Before Pride, my friend Stacie mentioned we should take Allie the Ally (my uterine plush) with us and take some fun photos like Flat Stanley (which we did and you'll see soon) . . . so I decided that I should take her along with me to the Screening too!

When I arrived in LA, I took the car to my past IPs house and hung out with my Surro Wonder Twins and their Daddy for awhile. They are getting so big and are getting more beautiful everyday. I'll post some pictures of them later, but for now hopefully this pic (about a month or so old) will do

After that I headed to the hotel before meeting some friends. Here is Allie relaxing at The Westin Pasadena, which by the way has THE BEST BEDS EVER!!!

And here I am with two other GG Surrogates that I've known online for months but finally got to meet in person

So after closing down the restaurant, I headed back to catch some zzzzzz's before the big day.

My physical screening began the next morning. When I arrived at Dr. Kolb's office The signage out front showed there was also a Cosmetic Surgery practice in the same building and I (and my saggy belly) started wondering if I was going into the right office.

After checking in I filled out all the new patient forms

and got my blood taken and I MEAN SEVERAL vials of blood . . . you know, to make sure I don't have HIV or other diseases that could be passed onto someone's fetus.

Afterwards, I met with Dr. Kolb in his office. This is usually where they will explain the whole process. However, being a 2 time Gestational Surrogate and Human Sexuality Instructor, he just summarized since I've "been there done that." I really liked Dr. Kolb. He was friendly and personable and I can see why Growing Generations likes to use him to help create families.

After I left them a quick urine specimen,

Dr. Kolb lead me to my exam room.

I undressed from the waist down for my pelvic exam (notice my lucky undies?) and Transvaginal ultrasound

and here's the picture of the instrument used for the ultrasound aka "the weenie wand"

Dr. Kolb let me know, after he filled my uterus with saline that it looked great. That my uterus looked smooth (which is what they like to see, especially after c-sections) and very inviting- okay, I made up that last part ;)

So now we wait to hear the results from thephysical screening, which they say will be about 7-10 days.

Next, I'll post about the Psychological Screening . . . or at least the voices in my head are telling me to.

***UPDATE***
Pride 2011 Post is up! CLICK HERE

You Want a Baby. I've Got a Uterus. Let's Do This!

2011-06-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

It's time for an update and I figure Father's Day (or rather Fathers' Day) is the perfect time for it.

The decision has been made. Much to the chagrin of a few people in my life, I will be proceeding with the process of a third journey. I know their only concerns are for my safety, and there's nothing wrong with that. They all seem to be supportive, they just don't want anything to happen to me. For the record, I totally understand that, I don't want anything to happen to me either.

However, just to point out there is a larger chance of me:

. . . getting killed in a car accident. Yet, I still drive a car every single day of my life- and with my kids!

. . . getting killed in a plane crash. However, I still fly various places to visit people- sometimes with my kids in tote!

Heck, my father's sport of choice when I was growing up was Skydiving. Not the safest activity to participate in and I remember being pretty freaked out about it at times (especially before my wedding when he started diving again) but he did it anyway because he enjoyed it even though he knew there were risks. Come to think of it, my dad has lost more friends skydiving than I have friends who have given birth. My count- zero . . . and when your friends are made up of women, including surrogates, we're talking a looooooot of birthing going on! :)

My OB has signed off on another journey, although he did say he'd rather me carry a singleton this next time instead of twins again and I agree! He said that I could do another twin pregnancy, whether it was a surrogacy or my own, but if I did, he'd watch me more closely. I take his opinion over everyone else since he has seen my uterus first hand and has my medical files. If he had said No, I would've shrugged and said, okay. But he didn't!

While, I know some may be bummed by my decision to proceed, they know I am an educated woman that makes informed decisions and that I am not feeling pressured by anything or anyone.

I am not being held against my will in a Criminal Surrogacy Ring!

I am not a woman from a third world country (possibly?) being exploited so a western couple can have a baby. (My feelings about Indian Surrogacy will have to wait for another post as I still don't have a concrete opinion about it- I'm all over the place).

I am not destitute. As I've stated many times before, my family is financially fine without the money from surrogacy. We bought our house before any of my journey's, we do just fine without it ;) A surrogate friend once shared they had a family member ask her, "If I give you the money would you not do this." She laughed and reminded her that she's not in it for the money, that like me, she's in it for the entire journey. The journey that ends with helping create a loving family.

SOOOOO . . . what are the next steps? Well, for me, even though this will be my third time with my same agency, I still have to go through the process of applying and being screened again.

In the next few weeks I hope to pass the Medical and Psychological Screening and of course the background check. I'm not too worried, although I do think my blood pressure will shoot up once they put the cuff on my arm, definitely "white coat syndrome".

I've already filled out the application with Growing Generations.

My Insurance situation has been straightend out.

I've signed and gathered all the paperwork (Surrogacy agreement, pay stubs, consent forms, etc.)

I've revised my Profile and Pictures. This part is my favorite to complete . . . introducing myself, sharing my family, and reminicing about my last two journeys. This is actually where the title of my blog came from. Someone asked what you should say on the profile and letter to the Intended Parents (how winded to get) and I joke, " I just say: You want a baby. I've got a uterus. Let's do this!" . . . I mean really, does it need to be more than that? Maybe a photo pointing to my pregnant belly with the subtitle, "ehhhhhhhhhh???!!!"

****UPDATE*****

Just wanted to share an email from my dad:

I just spent about 30 minutes discussing with Mamaw your decision to take "the final journey", defending your position on surrogacy with a small discussion on gay rights and the need we all have for a willingness to "learn new tricks". As "an old dog", I may not always agree with you, but I am a seeker of truth and understanding and try not to allow the prejudices, bias and habitual thinking that we all struggle with to control my thoughts and actions. Your happiness and success, as defined by you, are and will always be at the top of my desires. I may not always voice my thoughts when they are conflicted, but know that I always support you even when I'm at odds with your methods or motivation.

I'm very proud of you, Kelly. You're an extremely intelligent and compassionate woman. I take pride in your independence even when it bumps up against my own.

I love you, Kel.

Sneak Peak!

2011-06-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

Our Pride Shirts Arrived . . . .

Proud Surrogate INDEED!!!!

2011 Surro Shirts for Pride

2011-06-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

I think we have a WINNER!!!!

Or Maybe Two?

Some of you have seen the magic that is The MuthaCrafter . . . I, like many other Surrogates and Moms have used her art as a profile picture on Facebook and even have a few things posted throughout my blog, based around her idea.

On her Facebook Fan page she explains the idea began in 2007, while she was a few months pregnant and selling her jewelry at a craft fair. She looked around and thought, "I'm the craftiest bitch here, I am making people!" (Doesn't she sound like someone I could hang out with?)

She sells her items on several different sites, including Etsy and Cafe Press.

My surro friend Stacie and I decided that we wanted to use a compalation of her ideas (and have her design them since it's her original artwork) for our PRIDE shirts this year. So we messaged her that we wanted her graphic, but with the rainbow circle we have seen her use in the past along with either, "Proud Surrogate" or "I make families. What's your Super Power" on it.

TO BUY YOUR OWN GLBT SURROGATE SHIRTS- CLICK HERE.

I'm going to probably get one of each . . . Proud Surrogate and The Super Power one. I find that one can never have enough customized clothing to show off ones' uterus.

Do you have a Surrogacy Blog?

2011-06-08T13:17:00.000-07:00

Hey all! I know I follow quite a few blogs regarding Surrogacy but I wanted to give you the chance to leave your own blog address and description in the Comments Section.

Feel free to do a little intro (Surrogate? IPs? Former IPs that have graduated to Parenthood?) and include the link to your blog that discusses Surrogacy*.

*Blogs that are not about Surrogacy will be removed as I'd love for this Comments Section to be a resource for people who are looking for stories of personal surrogacies.

Can't wait to read your posts!

Your comment could look like this:

I'm Kelly a 2x GS (identical girls 11/28/08 and B/G twins 10/12/11)
http://www.justthestork.blogspot.com/

and I blog about surrogacy for The Next Family
http://thenextfamily.com/topics/family/surrogacy-family/kelly-rummelhart/

Living Vicariously Through Photos

2011-05-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

On my Private Surrogate Group on Facebook we share pictures of bellies, Intended Parents and surro babies. I love seeing all their photos and of course love to share my own. I especially have a place in my heart for big ol' belly pictures. I think it's because I love being pregnant and I love having a big belly full of babies! Hell- some of the times I've felt the sexiest was when I was pregnant. I really do miss it. A lot of women say they want to get back to their pre-baby body, sure, I do too . . . but you know what I'd like even more than that? A Pregnant Belly! When I see the pictures and read the posts about those that are currently preggo, I get a little jealous.

I think I've said this before but one of the reasons I enjoy being a Surrogate is that I get to be pregnant, have the big belly for a few months and NOT have to raise another child. I totally enjoy being pregnant. I have cherished the 5 times I had "the belly" and even though now I have a flabby, stretchy, C-section apron tummy, I wouldn't change anything. Which brings me to the next Surrogate sharing phenomenon- "getting stitched back together." I have a few friends, some of which were Surrogates, who have visited "Dr. Lookin' Good". I have seen the before and after pictures of the abdominalplasties, Boob Lifts, Boob jobs and I'll admit it- I'm jealous.

So- I'm at a kind of cross-roads. With insurance issues (supposedly) behind me, do I go for one last journey? One final affair with the belly? Make sure I do all the things I forgot to do the last two surro-journeys? Henna on the Belly? Belly Cast? Monthly Belly Art with the kids? OR do I retire from being a Surrogate and make the much needed Tummy Tuck/Boob Lift appointment with the plastic surgeon? OR do I have the best of both world's? Do one last hurrah and then go under the knife . . . right in time for my 20th high school reunion and a few years shy of my 40th birthday? My thirties were for babies and my forties and beyond will be for me. Like Angel said, "Today for you. Tomorrow for me!"

So which is it?

Start the process of dieting, exercising and the much needed Tummy Tuck to regain (or the closest I can come) my College Spring Break body?

Or bring a loving couple a child and a big belly for me?

Decisions, Decisions. I guess I need to really think about it all . . . but you know what they say . . . the third time is a charm.

Visiting my Girlies!

2011-05-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

On Easter, my family and I had the pleasure to go visit George, Sanj and the girls. We were only able to hang out for about an hour or two (Easter with the in-laws) but we had some Easter goodies for Natasha and Anjali and we were dying to see them . . . especially after the videos they sent me.

The day started out memorable with my son Sawyer spilling a completely full cup of hot cocoa all over the floor. Luckily, by now George and Sanj are used to having twins that spill things. When you don't have kids, the spills can get annoying. It reminds me of our trip last summer in LA visiting out other surro-family. The guys insisted it was fine for the kids to eat pizza in the living room while we hung out and ate in the dining room . . . Fast forward to about fifteen minutes later and there are greasy handprints all over their couch. Last month, when their house was on the market, I swore you could see the handprint in the listing. :) And when I flew down last month to visit, the couch wasn't there anymore. I laughed and asked if they threw it away because of the grease but I guess the buyers wanted it (and the handprints came out) . . . or at least that's the story they gave us!

Anyway . . . . after the hot cocoa spill everyone took turns playing games on my iPad (no one played Smurf's Village)

and then next was an impromptu Yoga class. Ruby does yoga as part of her Physical Education at school and was teaching the girls some of her favorite poses

Eventually we had to go (about 5 hours less than most of our visits) so they walked us out knowing they would see us again soon. Gosh I love them!

My Venus of Willendorf Mother's Day Gift

2011-05-05T17:46:00.000-07:00

Wanted to share with you the awesome Mother's Day Gift that my father and Step-mom sent me. The picture is the actual Venus of Willendorf, but my parents sent me my own replica figurine and I LOVE IT!

They know me so well! I guess once you buy yourself a custom uterine plush, you send the message that "normal" gifts just won't do! ;)

You may have seen this work of art before, but if not, it is a limestone carving of a female figure. This piece of prehistoric art was carved around 22,000 BCE. Several people believe that it celebrates fertility (hence the larger breasts, abdomen, etc). I know modern day c-sections were not the cause of her abdominal roll, but it certainly looks like the c-section "apron" that several women I know have been left with, including myself!

Of course with Art, just like Poetry, everyone can have their own opinion of meaning. When I see this figurine, it makes me think of a someone very similar to me . . . someone who has had several children (maybe some of them not her own), someone who carried either big babies or multiples, someone who used their body to bring about love and life and was left rounded, stretched and soft but above all a self-less mother.

Love! Love! Love!

2011-04-17T23:53:00.000-07:00

I'm in a great mood. I'm flying down south for the day to visit my Wonder twins this week AND I'm trying to see if we can swing a visit with Natasha and Anjali when we head up to the Bay Area for Easter. Of course I had this idea in the back of my mind and then these videos arrived . . . Now I definitely have to make it work!

First a quick video from Natasha

And then Anjali took a turn

How in the heck can you say No to that?!!!

6 months!

2011-04-12T19:18:00.001-07:00

My Wonder Twins turned six months today. I can't believe it's already been half a year! It has been weird not being able to see them as much as Natasha and Anjali but I can't afford to just jet down to LA all the time. Luckily, their Dads' are so good as sending me pictures. They are getting so big and I'm so excited to go down and see them during my Spring Break. As much as I hate to spend the money to fly down for a one day trip, it's how it had to be with my schedule. Rick and I are hoping to take the kids to Disneyland in October so that way they can be with me to see the babies around their birthday,

It is definitely easier to see my girlies since they're only about a 3.5 hours drive from my home and the fact that they only live 20 minutes from my in-laws, really helps out. My plan will always be to try to see them at LEAST once a year, if not more. I have some friends that are surrogates that never get to see their surro kiddos because they live in a different country so I guess I shouldn't bitch about being too far . . . in the same state.

I really have been blessed to end up with 4 great Intended Parents who continually fill me in about the babies and their family. I love getting the photos and videos. I appreciate the emails, texts and calls. And I adore them for it.

A Post Dedicated to My Best Friend

2011-03-28T18:32:00.001-07:00

I have been blogging over at The Next Family for about a month now. If you haven't ventured over, please do.

This week's post is regarding my best friend, who is also a Surrogate. More specifically, my empathy for reading horrible comments online when you give birth to "Celebrity Babies"- which she has also done.

Here's the link to A Surrogate Mom's Best Friend . . . or Click HERE

And here's the link to my page that has all my blogs for The Next Family- Click HERE.

Ask Me About My Uterus . . .

2011-03-23T15:29:00.001-07:00

As much as I'd LOVE to do a third journey, I'm having an insurance issue that is making it almost impossible. I won't go into specifics just yet and we haven't exhausted every option but it's starting to look like my days of being a Pregnant Surrogate are over . . . a type of "menopause" you might say ;)

Surrogacy has made such a huge impact on my life and I am not ready to give up. If I can't be a Surrogate for the third time, I can still help support current Surrogates and be a Consultant for Surrogacy Agencies. I have created a new business, Just the Stork Consulting, that I'm very excited about. We have already been contracted with one of the oldest and largest professional surrogacy agencies in the world, Growing Generations. I am not going to discuss my business model and research methods but I am very excited to work with Surrogates as an advocate and to make sure they truly feel supported in their journey. Later, Just the Stork Consulting will approach other agencies to offer them assistance as well, reaching even more Surrogates.

Something that I've been doing for years and will now do a lot more of, is talking openly about Surrogacy. When I told my family that I was going to do a second surrogacy journey, my mother in law said, "Kelly, you can't help every gay couple have a baby . . . " but I beg to differ ;) Sure, I can't carry thousands of babies but I can help find great Surrogacy candidates! My goal has always been to try to educate people on Surrogacy in hopes that someone might hear my story, and say to themself, "Hey, I could totally do that!"

So now, my new goal is to Recruit! Recruit! Recruit! Besides blogging and tweeting about Surrogacy, I need to step up my game. I have been brainstorming ways to get Surrogacy "Out There" and a few things have come to mind. One is educating other Surrogates about openly discussing Surrogacy and some other ideas about what else I can do myself.

One funny thing that I came up with is playing off all the bumper stickers you see for various products- so here's the new Bumper Sticker I'm having made. I'm sure it will get a lot of people confused . . . maybe even confused enough to visit my blog and in doing so, have their eyes opened to Surrogacy.

It's been awhile since my last Bumper Sticker Creation, so I thought it was time to create a new one. Your thoughts in the Comments!

What's Your Number?

2011-03-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about following my agency, Growing Generations, on Twitter is that they announce babies that are born. As of March 14th, 933 babies have been born in their surrogacy program. A few of us asked on their Facebook page what numbers we were . . . and they told us!

I found out that Natasha and Anjali were babies #678 and 679 and Gideon and Harper were babies #903 and 904. I LOVE that I know that now. My friend Stacie just gave birth to her Surro girlie "Baby V" on the 12th, exactly 5 months after my wonder twins were born. Her number was 934 . . . so 30 babies in 5 months . . . I'm guessing baby #1000 will be born in June or July? Maybe in time for PRIDE? ;)

*update . . I was tired while thinking about this, and of course "blinded" by PRIDE, so although I'd love the 1000th baby to be born around Pride, if it's about 5 months per 30 births- it is probably a better estimate to say that the 1000th Growing Gen baby will be born somewhere between January and February 2012. And although now it won't be my friend Heather who's due with her surro twins in June, it is always PRIDE Somewhere, right? Hell, if I could figure out my insurance issue and get this ball rolling, I could get matched and pregnant in the next 2 months, it could be me! LOL

Nanny Envy

2011-03-04T12:05:00.000-08:00

I admit it. I've got it. I've contracted a mild case of Nanny Envy. This isn't my first time and I know I'm not the only Surrogate who has been afflicted with this embarrassing condition.

Now, I know this post is going to come off as totally shallow but I'm not going to apologize. I try to be truthful in my blog and tell it how it is, or at least how it is for me and several surrogate mothers I know. So, buckle your seatbelt and get ready to take a trip back to high school, because it's about to get a little . . . . childish.

So my wonder twins are vacationing. I got the cutest picture of them this morning in their tropical gear (almost peed myself it was so hilarious/adorable). I knew they were going on the trip weeks ago when I was talking with their parents. The four of them and the nanny were going to meet some other friends. The Nanny. Right. Of course she'd go with them. It's her job. But I want to go. Not only to visit this wonderful place (sorry I don't want to be specific) but to see them, to hang out, to give some lovin' to some surro-babies. To be with them all. But alas, I can't because my job is over.

This same thing happened with Natasha and Anjali too. I remember talking with George and Sanj and hearing them name drop the Nanny. Part of me was glad they found someone great to help with their girls but somewhere deep down I'd think, "Ugh, her again". Now don't get me wrong. She is sweet. I even have some pictures of her with the girls as babies. No, I didn't scratch out her face (a la Junior High Yearbook Bitch) but I did get a little bummed when I'd hear how great she was or how marvelous she was with my surro-girlies . . . now HER girlies.

That's the true issue really . . . my job is over. If they wanted to (and luckily they don't) they could never talk to me again. I have nothing for them really . . . no updates about being pregnant. How I'm feeling. When the next OB appointment is. No ultrasound or belly pictures,etc. (Sure I can still send them belly pictures now . . . but after two back to back twins, not to mention my own three, NO ONE wants to see this belly!) When I was pregnant I was important. Now that they have their children, not so much. Of course if asked, I give parenting advice. And like I said earlier, if they ask if I'd like to visit, I'm there! But she's there, a few times a week to help out, not me. And it's not just my surro-girlies or the wonder twins, it's the parents more so. I have these day dreams of all of them hanging out, laughing, having a blast with their nanny . . . oh, she's so funny. She's so caring. She's so great. Kelly who?

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a Nanny. I'm just jealous that she gets to be with the Parents and kiddos and I don't. I said this was childish, right? I warned you. I'm like that brat who wants it all her way. "Gooses! Geeses! I want my Goose to lay gold eggs for Easter!" I know it's irrational. I know that the parents still like me and still talk about me because they call and text and email and send me photos and videos. And I know that I will always be THEIR Surrogate but sometimes, hearing about/seeing the Nanny, makes me feel jealous.

Could you imagine if they went with another surrogate in the future? Oh, my! I'd probably go off the deep end! Spouting off some sort of gibberish about having Tigress blood flowing through my uterus, how me as a Surrogate = Winning! :)

I know how stupid these feelings are and that's why, until now, I've only talked about this to other Surrogates . . . because they know my ~~pain~~ envy. They have contracted Nanny Envy too. It's an epidemic! We know it's immature and unfounded but Hell, it just may be contagious, so if you're a pregnant Surrogate reading this, watch out!

**UPDATE**
Wanted to put this here in case you don't read the Comments. Someone commented, " . . . you seem to accuse you (sic) IPs in some way . . ." I have to say NOT AT ALL. Just like The Surrogacy Blues, I fully admit my IPs are doing EVERYTHING right by me and I'm IRRATIONALLY feeling this way. Again, they are doing nothing wrong. (The rest of my comment is in the comment section).

Look Who Came to Hang Out!

2011-02-22T12:22:00.000-08:00

When the girls were about a month old I held an Open House for local friends, family and co-workers to come meet Natasha and Anjali. I thought it was wonderful that George and Sanj agreed to make the trip to visit us and show off "the project" that so many people were interested in. For most people, I am the only Surrogate that they know and I felt it important that they got to see the "end product" . . . a happy family overjoyed by the arrival of the children they longed for.

Here's a picture from 2008, the last time the girls came to my house

Since then, we tend to visit our Surro-family at their house. However, George and Sanj thought it was time to take a Sunday drive. So about two weeks ago, George, Sanj, Natasha, Anjali, Appapcchi and Auntie came to spend the afternoon with us. They also said it was okay if I wanted to invite some friends again . . . you don't have to tell me twice! ;)

A few things have changed since the last time the girls were up my way. Besides being older and now able to play with my kids toys and enjoy our backyard

this time they could also partake in the food . . . complete with "A" and "N" cupcakes that Ruby made for them

The day was filled with lots of giggles

Some things felt the exact same, including my Surro-friend Stacie who was 36 weeks pregnant with her surro-girlie "A" a little over two years ago and was 36 weeks pregnant with her surro-girlie "V" this time! Luckily, both times she didn't give birth at our Open House :)

No visit is complete without a group shot- here's one that we took

and one of just me and my surro-girlies

Ahhhhhh, Love!

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-21T16:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I totally forgot to post this . . . .

I had a great Valentine's Day! Received pictures of Natasha and Anjali wearing the Heart bows I gave them at our visit (still have to post all that) and a special Valentine's photo of Gideon and Harper too! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

The Next Family

2011-02-15T19:53:00.000-08:00

Last week I started to blog for The Next Family. If you haven't checked out their site yet, make sure you do.

They describe their site as, " . . . a diverse community where modern families meet. It is the start of an on-going, open-minded and sincere dialog between urbanite families, adoptive families, in vitro parents, interracial families, same sex parents, single parents and so on. It is a way to remind people that the Next Generation of families already exists in larger numbers than the old model of a “family unit”. The Next Family is the modern family."

My blog is located here.

There are several others blogging about their experiences too. To check out the list of Blogs you can Click Here.

I am excited to expand the audience I write for, another way to bring Surrogacy to the masses. As a sometimes taboo topic, I hope that along with my own blog, I can help people realize it can be discussed openly. I figure the more I talk about it, the more likely others may use Surrogacy or maybe even become a Surrogate themselves.

Surrogate Get Together

2011-02-15T16:46:00.000-08:00

About a week ago I got together with other Growing Generations Surrogates that live around the Sacramento area. It is always great to talk with other women who really "get it" . . . it is soooo amazing. However, I don't think our waiter was as amazed since we were at our table for at least five hours. I do think it's important to mention that we did tip very well. How could we not after monopolizing his table that long and forcing him to edure stories of IVF, pregnancy and birth as he filled our drinks several times.

I also think it was funny the amount of times everyone went pee. I guess our bladder's aren't what they used to be! LOL

FYI- Between the 6 Surrogates in this picture, we will have birthed at least 13 babies for 8 different Gay Couples! (Yay Babies!)
At the time of this luncheon 3 of us had already delivered twins (myself, more than once), 1 just found out she was pregnant and the other two were 25 and 36 weeks pregnant, respectively. That was one fertile table! :)

Super Hero Status? YOU BET!

2011-02-12T13:06:00.000-08:00

You know when you have friends that know you (and your uterus) so well that they send you incredible finds because they know it's right up your alley? Well, my friend Adriana shared a fantastic link,Vulva Love Lovely, with me. When I clicked on it, my heart skipped a beat, because what I saw was the coolest thing since ~~sliced bread~~ my uterus.

Now, as excited as I was to find a Super Hero Uterus Plushie, I was even more ecstatic when Jessica Marie agreed to Customize one to fit MY OWN Personal Journey as a Gestational Surrogate. I told her what I wanted- make the cape rainbow and put ALLY on the crest and she went to work.

Ladies and Gentlemen. Children of all ages. I give you . . . .
MY UTERUS' PLUSHIE DOLL!

She gets pregnant through IVF Faster than a speeding bullet.

Her Contractions are More powerful than a locomotive.

She is Able to leap over Homophobia in a single bound.

She's Not The Mom. She's Just The Stork . . . . She's Kelly's Uterus!!

Oh, I just thought of something- I may have to add my own scar . . . I want it to be realistic after all! *wink*

*To Kelly's Why I Posed for The NOH8 Campaign- CLICK HERE !

*To Kelly's Bumper Sticker Post- CLICK HERE!

Surrogacy/Pregnancy isn't always Pretty

2011-02-10T09:17:00.002-08:00

This week a surrogate friend of mine had to stay a few nights in the hospital (31 weeks with twins). To stop the contractions, they gave her different medications that caused her to get really puffy and she had made the comment, "Will not be taking any more pictures of myself this pregnancy...Good grief, bed-rest, magnesium drip and stress for 3 days= one very swollen lady."

Of course I told her that she needs to still take pictures because otherwise she won't have awesome "HOLY CRAP" photos not to mention, an accurate account of her journey- the good and the bad. Sure we like to take pictures when our hair is done, make-up on and we're looking great. But that's not the WHOLE journey.

I, myself, have been guilty of not putting up photos when I don't look great (or I cut off my head to "save face"). It took everything that I had to post up the Post Delivery Picture after I had Gideon and Harper because I still looked very pregnant and my face was very swollen. But I figured what the hell, it happened. It wasn't "Pretty" but it happened.

So, I thought for Melissa's sake and other surrogates out there, I'd share a few "not so pretty photos" that remind me and my surro twins' Dads about the marvelous journey we went on. FYI- these are in no particular order and cover both journeys, not just the latest.

Fun times with injections (this one was done the night before the transfer by David)

I wish I would've taken a picture of the one that Sanj did for me after the transfer. However, I still have my PJ bottoms and lucky polka dot green underwear that have a blood stain from where I bleed all over after the injection. Ah, good times!

Fun Times with Swelling (this was after a trip to Disneyland in August about 29 weeks preggo with twins. I think it was the 8+ hours in a car with hardly any stops that really did it!)

More Fun with Swelling (after I was finally able to get one of my rings off)

Hooked up to the NST machine

Babies listening to their Daddies reading them stories

Fun times with IV's

When I look at these pictures, they are beautiful in their own way. They help me remember how marvelous the experience was and how I'm not sure I'm ready to give it up.

Because for every photo there is of me with an IV punctured into my hand or my a huge monster foot, there are also several of these . . .

. . . and isn't that worth it?

*(I have several from my last delivery that I can't share :( but They are just marvelous and would've been placed here if I could).

My Surro Family is Coming for a Visit!

2011-02-08T23:54:00.000-08:00

I am so excited! George, Sanj, the girls and Appachhi are driving up to visit us Sunday. As a teaser they sent me the following video of the Natasha and Anjali playing "baby". Too cute!

We usually visit the girls at their home since they live so close to my in-laws. We have done a pretty good job of seeing them every few months. The last time they were up this way was for the Open House in December 2008, on their 1 month birthday. George and Sanj allowed me to invite some friends and co-workers to meet them and their new daughters. It was a wonderful day and amazing to share the final product with people in my life. I think even people who didn't really get Surrogacy, completely understood why I did it after seeing the babies in George and Sanj's arms.

Family is what it's all about. I'm smiling ear to ear right now just thinking about the families I've helped create . . . and become a part of. I am so lucky.

An Open Letter to Harps

2011-01-27T16:38:00.000-08:00

Regarding a store in Arkansas, Click here for a link to the story.

Dear Harps,

Are you kidding me? Why in the hell are you using the "Family Shield" on your US Weekly magazine this week? Are you trying to protect my children from seeing what LOVE looks like? Are you trying to protect them from what a FAMILY looks like? I assure you, my kids are well aware that two men can have a baby together. So you aren't protecting them from anything. You are just coming off as another Homophobic business.

I don't usually buy US Weekly, but I bought this issue for the SOLE purpose of sharing it with my 4, 7 and 9 year old children . . . to use it as a teachable moment about what a FAMILY can look like and of course, about Surrogacy and giving. Not to mention, how do I know that my kids are going to be straight? I like to share images of couples together, regardless of gender, so that once they figure out who they are and who they're attracted to, they will have seen that there are possibilities and it's not always just one way. That they won't go through their lives thinking one way is "better" than the other or that there is only one way to be.

So, NO THANK YOU. My family doesn't need you to protect us from this. And for the customers who complained, how about you tell them, "It is 2011", because it seems to me they think it's 1951 and maybe give them the number to PFLAG, in case their kids come out later. With views like that, if they end up being gay, those kids are going to need all the support that can find.

Glad that I shop at Safeway,

Kelly Rummelhart

*********
I will post about the article too, but maybe later. Figure I might as well since I bought it.

Has My Uterus Has Been Snubbed?

2011-01-21T15:16:00.000-08:00

I think my Uterus has been snubbed but I have decided not to take it personally. Instead I'm going to investigate.

It all started this morning when I got my copy of EW magazine. There is a great article/cover on Gay Teens on TV. It got me thinking about the presence of the GLBT community in the media in general, which then got me thinking about the GLAAD Media Awards . . . which then got me wondering . . . How in the HELL has my uterus never won a GLAAD award? Sure, sure, someone needs to submit an entry on my uterus' behalf, which I guess, is the problem.

You know me, you know my uterus. It is strong, passionate and able to carry multiple babies at one time! It is a Super Hero of sorts. (A future post will discuss it's powers . . . complete with its Rainbow Cape!)

So, 2 sets of twins in 2 years for 2 different Gay Couples! My followers, friends and surrogate agency, Growing Generations, know that my Uterus, up to this point, has been pretty exclusive . . . being Gay has been a pre-requisite. A few people have considered my Uterus to be a bit Homosexist, some may venture to say Heterophobic!

Hell! If I decide to do a third journey, and you're straight & looking to use me as a surrogate, I've decided on the following criteria . . . because "Having a gay friend will not cut it".

You must have/be at least 3 of the following (if you're straight):

* Posed for the NOH8 campaign

* Worked along side several GLBT people for an extended amount of time

* Been Cast in RENT ( Maureen or Collins gets extra points)

* Your Name is Kathy Griffin or Margaret Cho

* You know what the letters in HRC, GLAAD, GLSEN, and PFLAG stand for

* You have donated time or money to The Trevor Project

* Created your own It Gets Better Video

* YOU have 2 Dads or Moms

* Have The Next Family, After Elton or Greg in Hollywood bookmarked on your computer.

Some of you may think I'm not being serious, but you know what, I kind of am. I entered the realm of Surrogacy in October of 2007 and started my blog March of 2008. I have fought for "Gay Rights" since the early 90's and am not going to stop now. So, I think it's okay to be a bit picky about who I decide to help.

After all, it's my body and I can do whatever I want with it . . . I just think holding a GLAAD award would totally bring out my uterus.

Three Months Has Flown By!

2011-01-12T00:01:00.000-08:00

Guess What? Three months ago I gave birth to the Wonder Twins. Can you believe that? What I can't believe is that I still haven't posted pictures. I haven't shared my pictures of Harper and Gideon because parts of my journey, was and continues to be, just for us. I have to be totally honest and tell you it is hard to go from being so open about everything to keeping some things private . . . but I get it and will kindly oblige. If George and Sanj had asked me to not post pictures or not share our memories, I would've gladly followed their wishes as well. Now, with that being said, I figure pictures that the Neil and David share on television (not pictures that the media snaps without consent) are "up for grabs", so I might as well post them here too so my readers can see how big and beautiful my surro babies are getting.

So, here are a few pictures that Neil shared when he co-hosted Live! with Regis and Kelly this last week. I especially love the fact that over half of the pictures had items (outfits & hats) that I gave them. Yay Babies! Here is a picture that someone put online of the 5 pictures. However, they aren't as clear as they were on TV. I do have my own (clear) copies of some of the pictures shared, but would feel weird putting those up. I know it sounds stupid since they are the same but these ones Neil actually shared.

If you want, you can watch the opening of the show HERE. FYI- at 3:51 is when the pictures are shown . . . again, they are bigger and more clear on the video, not to mention you get to enjoy Kelly and Neil's comedy.

Now, I can't just show off one set of twins . . . . . Here are Natasha and Anjali shopping with Appah (Sanj) at Trader Joes last weekend. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! (wait for it, it takes a little time to load I guess)

After their second birthday, the girls traded in their binkies for bike helmets! Apparently, they LOVE them and like to wear them all the time . . . while playing, sleeping, bathing and eating :)

Who says you have to be riding a bike to be rockin' a bike helmet?!

My New Year's Resolutions

2011-01-03T22:38:00.000-08:00

I noticed most bloggers did an end of the year post. Ooops! Guess I didn't get the memo in time. Actually, I've been a little busy. Between working at Ruby Q's, a New Year's Weekend Trip to Seattle and loving all the pictures of the babies/family in People Magazine (more on that later) . . . my mind has been elsewhere. So, to make it up, I figured I'd share my New Year's ~~Resolution~~ Resolutions.

* Get back into shape. Whether I do a third journey or not, I need to get this body back in shape. Back to back twins can do a number on your body . . . so can not being "thin" in 9 years. So, whether it's for myself, for a future surro pregnancy or both, I need to get off my ass and start working out. My Uterus is a Magic Fountain, but my body is my Temple. And my temple needs a lot of work! :)

* Read More. I used to be an avid reader but with a boutique, teaching, three kids and a television addiction, reading isn't in the cards. I am making a promise to myself to read more this year and hopefully, for life.

* Drink More Water. I do a great job of drinking lots of water when I'm pregnant but not so much all the time . . . that is until 2011. This would be a perfect time, since I don't have to pee every five minutes anymore.

* Get Hired as one of the 12 Days of Giveaways Elves on Ellen next year. It would be fun to be in the audience and get everything, but I'd love to dance on the stage in an elf outfit . . . "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year . . ."

* Find a literary agent/publisher for my Surrogacy Book idea. Need help on this one, don't even know where to start.

* Reach 200 Followers for my blog! As of today I have 113. I'll need help on this one too . . . so feel free to share my blog and tell them to start at the beginning, March of 2008. (See Blog Archive by Month/Year to the right under the Map).

* Reach 50,000 hits. As of today I'm at 27,759. Again, I'll need your help here :)

* Figure out why the Kardashians are/continue to be famous.

I think it's all doable. Well, except for Kardashian thing . . . we may never have the answer for that. Usually once I put my mind to something, I do it. So First stop to more followers and hits . . . post to Twitter. Here I go! :)

My Take on the STAR article, since you asked . . .

2010-12-28T14:12:00.000-08:00

Several of you have asked to see the article outing me in Star Magazine and for me to discuss it. I have the issue (of course) and the PDF file that the guys sent me before it hit the stands, so I have saved sections as jpegs so you could see it best. More of my comments at the end.

First of all, here's the article in its entirety- Do you like how I kept it small so you can't see the horrible picture of my face?

Now here are some sections that you can actually read.

Box with Picture "Hey! Who cut out the face?" Yeah, that would be me! Whenever I complain about this picture, people always say, "You were about to have twins," like I'm pissed because I'm so big. Let me clarify . . . I could care less about how big I look in the picture because #1 I'm not a skinny girl and #2 I was almost 37 weeks pregnant with twins. I post up belly pictures all the time, even naked belly pics, so that wasn't it. It was the grimace on my face . . . my face that had no make-up on and my hair was pulled back like a woman on bed rest who was able to get out of the house on the days she had Doctor's appointments. Anyone want to guess what October 1st was? Yup, a Dr's appointment.

Oh and I love that my HRC sticker on my van is showing . . . it's like they knew keeping it in would soften the blow of the picture :)

Left Side

Right Side

So- big Thank Yous to Star for the following things . . .

* Running the article before I turned 36.

* Not disclosing my actual City where I live and work.

* Mentioning my boutique, Ruby Q's . . . I'll take the free advertising.

* Mentioning my blog . . . Again, I'll take any traffic I can get.

* Keeping the HRC sticker in the picture.

* Giving me props for helping out another gay couple (Yay, George and Sanj!)

* Sending the PDF to the guys so they could give me a heads up.

* Saying I had a "healthy sense of humor" and mentioning my "Big Heart" numerous times. (Better that than Big-Boned) LOL.

Things that are either wrong or I find it interesting that they left out . . .

* I find it convenient they left out that I'm a College Instructor. What, do they not want to let it out that some Surrogates are actually educated? Hmmmmm . . . . .

* My NOH8 photo is my profile picture on blogger and twitter, both of which they mentioned visiting . . . so they could not have used that picture? Or referenced it somehow? Dang it!

* They always get the part about shopping around for Surrogates wrong. At Growing Generations, Intended Parents do not get to look through tons of profiles at one time. They get one. If they don't like her, they get another.

In Conclusion, in all the articles I read in Star about my Intended Parents there are numerous false statements, some of which I won't even talk about because they are personal in Nature. But my biggest complaint in the article about who I am, is that when they discuss me "carrying NPH's babies," and "before she gave birth to NPH's daughter and son-" . . . ah, remember there are two dads in this story. I think it would've been more accurate to say, when I was carrying their babies and before I gave birth to their daughter and son.

Being involved in this and knowing the truth regarding these things, it has taught me a lesson about these types of magazines. I was reminded that the stories they publish are not accurate but I never realized how off they could be. How they would say they have a "source" and what the "source" supposedly said was totally false. When you read these magazines, blogs and websites, I'd be careful what you believe because yes, I am big hearted, have a healthy sense of humor and in fact, am beautiful . . . but other parts of these stories are not always so true and sometimes, very hurtful.

**UPDATE**
One last thing. I have to say I am grateful that the article, although it had issues, was very kind to me. Other Surrogates for famous couples have not had the same experience. So, Thank you Star for being nice to me and not trying to make the wonderful thing I did seem horrible. I help make gay men fathers, it's a calling really, so thank you for not tarnishing that.

**UPDATE**
Okay, the People article came out and they discuss how they used each partner's sperm. . . . That was the other thing that bothered me . . . all the articles would just talk about Neil using his Sperm. What's up with that? Why would they assume that they'd just use Neil's? Haven't seen the pictures in the article yet, but David better be in them. I get so pissed when they have a picture of "Hollywood Babies" and they only have the most famous parent with them. HELLO?! If I were Mario Lopez's girlfriend, I would be upset if I wasnt' photographed with their baby. What, she just carried her and gave birth to her . . . and is her mother. But I digress . . .

My Ornaments Arrived!

2010-12-27T22:11:00.000-08:00

I am so excited about my new ornaments. Now, every year when my family puts up our Christmas Tree and decorates it, I will remember my extended family, my two sets of surrogacy twins and their Daddies!

Here is the Ornament for my First Journey- "Natasha and Anjali
My Surro Girlies 11-28-08"

Here is the Ornament for my Second Journey- "The Wonder Twins
Gideon & Harper 10-12-10" although it photographed blue, but it's really lavender.

And here they are hanging on my tree!

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-21T11:53:00.000-08:00

I just received a photo holiday card from Gideon, Harper, the dogs and their Daddies . . . and I'm in Love all over again. Of course it's nice to see pictures but I also get this awesome feeling about how I took part in their card this year. I helped them have two beautiful, healthy and smart (I can tell) babies for that awesome card. It's like a pat on the back for a job well done. Yay, Babies!

I can't wait to see the card from George, Sanj and the girls and even more so, seeing the pictures from the holidays from both families I helped create. It's like the gift that keeps on giving . . . every few days/weeks I get to see pictures of two beautiful families enjoying each other. It is quite amazing.

Remember when I blogged about . . . How To Remember . . .? Well, along the same line, I decided to have Christmas Ornaments made. So every year when my family decorates our tree I can be reminded of Natasha & Anjali and Gideon & Harper. When I receive them in the mail, I'll post some pictures. I thought it was a great idea. My friend Ashley sent me a picture of her ornament and I thought, I need one of those . . . or actually two.

Lastly, I know all my followers are not on my Holiday Card mailing list, so I thought I'd share our card and my letter this year. As, you can see, my Holiday letters are a little like my blog . . .

2010
Well, well, well . . . here we are, the end of 2010. Man, I can’t believe the year is almost over. Honestly, it feels like a little over 350 days, but what do I know? Regardless, it’s time for the letter of all letters. Yes, hold onto your seats, I give you the Rummelhart’s Yearly Wrap-up.

Ruby is doing great. After starring in her critically acclaimed, one-woman show on Broadway she received early admission into Juilliard. Preston has also had a spectacular year, or should I say Dr. Rummelhart? In the last 12 months he has graduated high school, college and Medical School. He is currently doing his residency and will no doubt finish by the time you read this letter. After Sawyer’s youtube video hit over 10 million views, he was asked by Lady Gaga to join her for the remainder of her World Tour. The costumes are a bit much for a four year old, but how can you pass up on an opportunity like that? Even if he’s in rehab by 6, he’ll be out soon enough to star on Skating with the Stars, so it’s really win-win.

All kidding aside . . . Sawyer is learning a lot in preschool this year as he gets ready for kindergarten next year. We thought Ruby and Preston were “smarty pants” but Soy-town seems to be blowing them away. He loves being outside in the sandbox and enjoys playing games on my phone and iPad. I’m sure you saw him in newspapers across the country and all over the internet. How funny was that?

Preston turned 7 in June and is having a great time in the second grade. He excels in reading and math and adores his teacher. He still likes to play xBox 360, build things with his legos and loves to read in bed at night.

Ruby is still our little dancing queen, well not so little anymore since she comes up to my shoulders now. She is loving the 4th grade and is in her 7th year of dance. We can’t believe she’ll be 10 next year- yikes!

Ricky and I are still doing the same things as the last several years . . . working, trying to be the best parents we can be, working, having babies for people, working and loving each other. Speaking of which, we celebrated our 10 year anniversary this year. Well, not quite celebrate as I had just given birth to twins, but squeezed hands and got Chinese Take-out.

As I mentioned before, on October 12th I gave birth to Gideon and Harper and a week later landed in Star Magazine. I would’ve included a copy of it here but with the picture they published, they should be happy I didn’t decide to burn down their offices. They are doing well and I’m excited to fly to LA to see them in January. At the end of November, the family and I were able to celebrate the 2nd birthday of my first set of surrogate twins, Natasha and Anjali. It has been amazing seeing them grow. I’m lucky that George and Sanj have added us to their family.

We are excited to see what the next year holds, so bring it on 2011!
The Rummelharts

2 Months and You've Got Me Thinking . . .

2010-12-13T23:10:00.000-08:00

The Wonder Twins reached the 2 month mark yesterday. They are doing well and getting bigger. I sent them the cutest Elf outfits for Christmas and am counting the days until I get the pictures of them wearing them- I'm also counting the days until my trip down there next month.

It feels like more than 8 weeks since I gave birth to Gid and Harper. Now that I'm back to work I get asked (over and over) if I plan on being a Surrogate for the third time. Actually, this question usually starts even before I've given birth. I think I'm being asked even more this time around for some reason.

So will I? I don't know. I've thought about it the whole time. Twenty years ago when I thought about being a surrogate, I certainly didn't think I'd do it more than once. A few months into my first journey I thought I would do it a second time and Natasha and Anjali's birth sealed the deal. So when Growing Generations asked me a few weeks later if I saw myself doing this again, I told them Yes, but that I wanted a several months of not being pregnant. A few months later I was matched and my second journey began. Even back then I thought about a third journey. Would that be crazy? What would people say? Would I be pressing my luck? Would I be too old by then?

My answer is, I don't know, because I really don't know. I would LOVE to go round three . . . there are couples out there who need help and I enjoy being pregnant but I'm not sure how everyone would react. I'm not usually a person who cares what people think but I have to admit, a third surrogacy might push some of my family and in-laws over the edge. However, they know me well, so I'm sure they realize this is something I'm thinking about.

I may do a Positive/Negative chart post, so you can see exactly how Rick and I are coming to our decision but for now I know if I do go Round #3, I may need to change it up a bit. A friend of mine who is also a Surrogate asked to be matched with a straight international couple. That way it would be a totally different journey, so it wouldn't take away anything from her first journey. Well, even though my second journey was also for gay men, it was TOTALLY different . . . I think most of you know why.

I see my matches like my children. I have 3 kids. They are all different but I love them the same. I remember when I was pregnant with Preston (my #2 bio) I thought, is there anyway I could love him as much as Ruby? And I did. I love my #3 bio kid Sawyer too. And my Intended Parents are the same. I remember after Growing Generations approached me about being a Surrogate again. I was thinking, Would I feel the same about them as George and Sanj . . . it didn't seem possible. But I found out that my heart was big enough for the 4 of them, and luckily, so was my uterus :)

Now, I have been asked by Growing Generations if I'd be interested in being a Surrogate a third time. Just like last time (and the time before) they already have an idea of a great match for me. They've done a great job matching me so far, so I trust that this new couple they have in mind would be great too. There's just one "catch" . . . it's a straight couple. **crickets** I know, I was surprised as well. This is not something I've really thought about before. In all honesty, I haven't thought about it too much until now, well besides debating if my Uterus was Heterophobic. But I've been having some interesting conversations with myself (again, another post for later). Last time I felt a little like I was "cheating" on George and Sanj. With this opportunity, would I be "cheating" on Gay men everywhere?! Who knows, it may just be the different type of Journey I need . . . we'll see.

In Conclusion, I have a lot of thinking to do. Do I help one more family or do I retire? I know one thing for sure . . . I don't want to be the Brett Favre of Surrogacy. Wait, let me clarify. I don't mean I'm going to text someone a picture of my uterus . . . I mean I don't want to keep going back and forth about my decision. I want to make an educated decision and stick with it.

New Catch Phrase for me?

2010-12-06T17:35:00.000-08:00

I was following the live coverage of Prop 8 today on Twitter and one of the things brought up was Procreation and if it was a valid argument. To summarize, Judge Smith asked if the argument was about procreation, doesn't that survive rational basis review. Stewart said, "It does not. Gay couples procreate too." Which then stirred a rash of tweets about can the GLBT community procreate. My first thought was, if Gay Men can't procreate, then who the hell did I just give birth to? I know 2 babies and 2 toddlers that would beg to differ.

Which brings me to my new catch phrase that will join "My Uterus Is An ALLY" in my own Hall of Fame.

Drumroll please . . . . . . . .

Kelly. Helping Gay Men "Procreate" since 2008!

I think it has a ring to it! :)

Surrogacy Blues (aka My Longest.Post.Ever)

2010-12-03T18:11:00.000-08:00

I swear I haven't been avoiding this topic this time. I just knew I'd really need to think about what I wanted to post and discuss it in a serious manner . . . Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm usually sitting here drunk at my keyboard, half-assing my other posts, I just need this post to be as accurate as possible. You see, this is one of the subjects you won't hear too many Surrogates discuss, well, this and money. In retrospect, I think last time, I was too embarrassed to blog about it. I didn't realize at the time that what I was feeling was perfectly normal.

First of all, "The Blues" that sometimes follows your Surrogacy birth is hard enough to talk about with other Surrogates (if you even know any) . . . let alone trying to explain it to Non-Surrogates who won't get it. When I had Natasha and Anjali, I didn't know any other Surrogates. I didn't meet Stacie (online or otherwise) until after I gave birth. So when I went through it the first time, I was alone. From then on, I've tried to make it my job to seek out other Surrogates and introduce them to each other or at least Follow their blogs publicly and make supportive comments, so they knew they were not alone. It really makes a difference during your journey to have someone who knows what you're going through (for the most part). Yes, each journey is different, but there are several things that are very similar, if not identical, for us all.

After I gave birth to Natasha and Anjali, I came home feeling great about what I accomplished. I went through all my pictures (there were tons) and revisited my blog to remind myself what happened . . . Later, I would do this whenever I felt down. I think the first few days back after my second surro-birth were a little tougher. Out of respect for Gid and Harper's Parents, I didn't take any of my own photos. So when I got home, I had nothing to look at except for the special blog I created just for them. I was so thankful when hours after I left the hospital (a day after they left) they texted me pictures of the babies. A few days later they emailed me tons of pictures from our time in the hospital . . . it was exactly what I needed. Pictures of me with them, of them with their babies, of my kids with their babies, everything I needed to remind myself of the beautiful outcome to our journey.

Pictures or not, the first week or two are the toughest. I am a crier. I cry at cheesy movies and Oreo commercials. So, imagine a woman who has all these hormones from being pregnant, who just gave birth, who doesn't know what to do with herself and who has time to sit around and think of it all. For me, I would be fine, then I'd just start crying . . . for no reason and I couldn't control it. At first it was several times a day. Then after a week or two passed, a few times a day. Then a few weeks later, maybe once a day. Anything and everything could trigger it, like I said, I couldn't control myself. Then eventually, for me about 5 weeks, you notice you went an entire day without crying.

And here's where it is easier to talk to other Surrogates . . . most people, including my friends and strangers would see me crying and might think I missed the babies. Not so. What I THOUGHT it was, was me missing the contact with the IPs, but that wasn't it either. Both times after the birth the Parents would email, text and call me on a weekly basis. So in my head, I thought I was being abandoned, but I wasn't, NOT AT ALL . . again, no control over the feelings . . . even those that are totally unfounded or flat out wrong. I remember thinking the first few weeks, that they were ignoring me . . . but if I would rationally think about it, they had sent me flowers, cards and emailed me new pictures, called me to tell me about how the babies were doing. Heck, we'd even make plans to have them visit me or have me fly down and visit them. Is that being abandoned? NO! And even though I could rationally think of all of that and how it didn't add up to the way I was feeling, my behavior wouldn't change. Having no control of my feelings was tough, especially when you're a woman who is usually in control of everything.

I emailed some of my Surrogate friends 3 days after I got home from the hospital (6 days past Birth) when I finally figured it out. Here's an excerpt from that email. . . .

"In the past I've compared it to planning a wedding . . . how you spend almost a year planning for your wedding, this one day and in a matter of hours it's over. Yes, you're happy but later you're left with a "now what do I do" since you spent so much time on the planning . . it's like you feel empty in a way. But I finally realized what it's really like for me. . . it's like I got fired from a job I loved. My job was over and the company needed to downsize. I had done my job well but there isn't really anything else left for me to do . . . I don't like (feeling this way) this stage and I'm glad it doesn't last long."

Then about a week later . . .

"Can someone remind me how long "the blues" lasts? I can't remember . . . I'm over this not being in control of my tears. Went grocery shopping (for the first time since bed rest) and lost it in the store. LAME"

Here's that story- I knew I was still crying over whatever but needed groceries. I figured, it would be good to get back to normal, so I took off. About 15 minutes into my trip, with my cart half-way filled, I had a woman in her early sixties approach me. She said she had seen the article of me in Star Magazine and wanted to Thank me. She then told me her older brother was Gay and that when she told him about me, he started to cry. Well, that was all I needed to start bawling inside Safeway! I couldn't stop. I told her I was sorry. I thought about leaving my groceries and getting the hell out of there but my kids needed food. So I took several deep breaths and continued. A few aisles later, I ran into a friend who could tell I had just been crying. She made the mistake of asking me what was wrong . . . TEARS! I kept apologizing and telling her I couldn't control myself and that unlike my appearance, I was in fact okay. (I don't think she believed me). I don't think anyone would believe you in that situation . . . but that's how it would always play out. Whether it was Safeway or my dining room table, when I'd start to cry (for no reason) I'd start apologizing to whoever I was with and tell them I was okay. It was almost like an out of body experience. I was looking at myself thinking, "Jesus Kelly, pull it together" but just couldn't.

I think having a c-section doesn't help you get over the blues any quicker because as much as you try to get things back to normal, you can't. You are physically not capable of doing so. Hell, I had Sawyer (MY last baby) on Saturday morning and walked Ruby and Preston to school on Monday. This doesn't happen with a c-section. I am also well known for pushing my limits (Hello! Disneyland at 29 weeks pregnant with twins) so I have to make sure I take it easy. This means no going to the gym to get your mind off of it.

Lastly, one of my surrogate friends told me that she finally felt back to normal when she went back to work because for her, her job is her life. I think that's a great point but for me, I think I've made Surrogacy my life, part of my identity. It's what I do. It's who I am. It's what I blog about. It's how I spend my free time (following other blogs). It is something I can't get away from . . . and why would I want to? The Blues pass, but I will be me forever.

My Name is Kelly and I'm a Surrogate Mother.

********UPDATE***********
For other Surrogates who read this, when you get to this part of your journey . . . if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. I am here.

Look Who's Two

2010-12-02T22:18:00.000-08:00

Finally, the pictures I promised. I am only going to include a few since I don't want you to overdose on cuteness.

Here's Ruby with Anjali- the girls are wearing the silly sacs we gave them for their birthday. A monkey for Natasha and a cow for Anjali (which I hear, days later, they are still wearing)

When we ate lunch, Anjali insisted on sitting on Rick's lap

Here's our try at a group picture. Even though it was 1 day before their second birthday, they have already mastered the skill of not cooperating for family photos :)

And Last, here's a video of singing Happy Birthday. My apologies (in advance) for our singing voices :) Not sure how to make it smaller so if you'd rather, here's the LINK

25 Random Things about Kelly

2010-11-30T16:19:00.000-08:00

I did this activity a while ago when it went around Facebook . . . I am not going to edit it, since most is still true (except for my age, I'm 36 now. And the fact that I've completed my Second Surrogacy Journey, not just thinking about doing it again).

1. I'm a very loyal friend, if someone is messing with someone I care about (in high school or at the age of 34) I will take them out and not think twice about it.

2. Some people say I'm the funniest person they know (They've got a great sense of humor).

3. Some people totally don't get my jokes/comments (what's their problem?)

4. I thank "enter your deity here" everyday Girls Gone Wild wasn't around when I was younger and "going wild" . . . my breasts were amazing and I didn't mind showing them off every now and then, ahhhhh memories.

5. Being a surrogate mother was one of the most emotionally rewarding things I've ever done . . . and I think I may do it for just one more couple (It was that awesome)!

6. I worry that my daughter will grow up to be bitchy, so I've tried to talk to her since she started school about how to be a great friend and never say anything about someone that you wouldn't say to their face.

7. I'm used to being good at things, so when I'm not, I get frustrated and want to quit (I hate that about me).

8. I do too much and it's hard for me to say no when I know people need my help.

9. Every now and then, I look around at my house and family and wonder how I can have all of this? I still feel like I'm not an adult sometimes, like I was just in high school 3 years ago.

10. I want to punch people in the throat when they say something is "gay" . . . get a new fucking adjective, one that fits.

11. Did I mention I have the mouth of a sailor?

12. I have a dolphin tattoo and a butterfly tattoo- and apparently tons of women do- but I chose mine because I used to swim competitively and butterfly was my best stroke.

13. I had sex too early but wouldn't take back anything that I did in the past because it made me who I am today . . . . it helped me realize I wanted to teach other people that sex doesn't equal love and it's not something to be ashamed of or taken lightly.

14. I'm addicted to my computer, seriously, I am.

15. When I watch BIG LOVE I think about what it would be like to have other wives with me, and I think I could make it work.

16. I hate it when people use religion as fact in a discussion. I don't believe in God, so your argument holds no validity with me . . . but feel free to have your own beliefs- just don't assume everyone has your faith.

17. Speaking of which, If your god was so against homosexuality wouldn't it have been in his "Top Ten" . . so maybe people should use their "church money" to keep people who steal, murder, commit adultery and work on Sundays from getting married.

18. I am for equal rights- and no one can make me believe ANYONE should have any less rights than I do.

19. I'm glad we don't have any pets.

20. The three movies where I cried the hardiest (heaving chest, can't breathe, barely consolable) were Schindler's List, The Green Mile and Brokeback Mountain.

21. I'd like to teach full time at my college but SOMEONE won't fucking retire.

22. Songs on the radio "take me back" and sometimes to places and people I shouldn't think about.

23. When I read the description of a Scorpio, it is true (for me).

24. There is nothing wrong Masturbation at any age.

25. I don't want to lose my children, but I can't wait to see what kind of people they grow up to be.

I see your 25 and raise you 1 more . . .

26. I have a wild imagination. Sometimes I'll think about if a robber comes in, or if this happens- what will I do and I'll work out an ENTIRE plan in my mind about how I'm going to get my family out safely . . . .. did I mention we're sitting in Baskin Robbins?

It's a Great Day!

2010-11-29T12:39:00.000-08:00

I am having such a marvelous day.

First of all, I'm coming off a high of spending a day celebrating my surro-girlies 2nd birthday (will post about that ASAP with pictures).

Next, not only did I get an adorable Thanksgiving Day picture from the guys but I'm in the process of making plans to visit "The Wonder Twins" (Gideon & Harper) in January when I have to go to Los Angeles for the California Gift Show to shop for my store, Ruby Q's.

FYI- The Wonder Twins is what I called Harper and Gideon during the pregnancy. I grew up watching the cartoon and since they were boy/girl twins, I couldn't call them "my girlies" or "the boys" . . . so the Wonder Twins it was.

"Wonder Twin Powers Activate, Form of a Fetus . . . Form of Another Fetus!"

Oh- and I actually ordered Holiday Cards, picked a photo from this weekend instead of stressing about a formal picture . . . finding matching clothes, hoping for no black eyes or facial scratches, don't care who's actually looking at the camera . . . much less stressful!

An Open Letter to Audrey Magallon, Surrogate Scammer

2010-11-23T18:38:00.000-08:00

Dear Audrey,
How dare you hurt a couple this way. You are lucky that I am not in the same state as you or I would seek you out and KICK YOU IN THE UTERUS!
Sincerely,

Kelly Rummelhart
Surrogate Mom

********

In all seriousness, this is why I think it is very important to use a reputable agency as Intended Parents and as a Surrogate. My agency, Growing Generations, screens Surrogates and their partners medically and mentally. They do background checks on both the woman and her partner/husband.

Lastly, Audrey, I'm serious, you better hide that uterus if you see me . . . because my beautiful uterus (proven fact FYI) is stepping up to your cheating/scamming uterus and I think all my readers know who'd win that Contest. It's a Uterus-Off Y'all!

***UPDATE***
FYI- for those of you who don't know me, this is a joke. Now, I would think that would be a "no-brainer" but I guess not, as I received a comment about how horrible and sick I am. LOL! Whatever! I would never kick someone in the uterus . . . although, if I did- it would probably hurt her less than the hurting of the couple she scammed.

The SCAM that is Smurf's Village!

2010-11-20T12:23:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this isn't really related to Surrogacy but I'm so shocked, I feel as if I have to warn as many parents as I know (or have access to).

Let me give you a little history . . . even though I have only purchased and used APPLE (MAC) computers since 1985, I do not own an iPhone yet. Once they make a deal with Verizon, I'm sure I'll be in line, but for now I refuse to pay money for a phone and then have to pay more money to use it with my provider. In September of this year, I received an iPad as a gift. Something to help me "make it through" the boredom that is Doctor Ordered Bed Rest. I like the iPad. It is fun and has lots of games for myself and my children too. Ruby loves the math flash cards, Preston enjoys Angry Birds and Sawyer loves Checkers. All these games were Free, as was Smurf's Village.

So . . . . . I found out last night while looking at my online bank statement that almost $70 was charged to my account from iTunes. Upon investigation, I discovered my 4 year old (who has played various games for months with no issues) had purchased smurfberries while playing the "FREE" game. Specifically, he purchased 1 bushel for $11.99 and 11 buckets at $4.99 each. Luckily he didn't click the most expensive option, Wheelbarrow for $59.99, because if he did, with the amount of times he clicked it, my total would've been over $700!!

Since this has happened, I have now learned that you can change the settings on your iPad or iPhone to deny In Ap Purchases. I did so immediately! Another thing that someone shared with me is that the iOS will keep you logged on for 15 minutes after you download the app. Additional purchases won’t require a re-entry of the password during this 15 minute interval . . . so you may want to not let your kids use your device until 30 minutes past an authorized purchase. I have also emailed iTunes to try to get my money back. I consider it an unauthorized purchase. Every time I've ever made a purchase, I have to put in my password. I have never made an IN AP Purchase, didn't even know it existed, so I assumed my kids didn't have access. I WAS WRONG.

Last night, I started googling about this very thing and have found I am far from alone! I have found others on Twitter complaining about their kids purchasing Smurf Berries too! I even stumbled upon a father who complained to the media because his son did the same thing. Since, there are other parents out there in the same boat, I've decided to start a Facebook Group, "I got SMURFED by Capcom!" It's a group for Parents who found out (the hard way) they need to change setting to "NO IN AP PURCHASES" on their iPads and iPhones because they were shocked to learn their children were making unauthorized purchases on their Apple products.

I am really hoping that Apple had no clue, because it seems very obvious to me that this is a BIG SMURFIN' SCAM! If it was an oversite, I hope they fix it quickly. When I read how Smurf's Village has outsold Angry Birds, I believe it . . . perhaps Capcom, the company that created the game, knows EXACTLY what they are doing!

BEWARE! Don't get Smurfed like me!

*****Update*****

Heard back from Apple and I will be refunded . . . "Please note that this is a one-time exception, as the App Store Terms and Conditions state that all sales are final." I hope APPLE speaks with Capcom about this or their iTunes Customer Service is going to be working a lot of overtime on this issue.

*****Update*****

Story got picked up by the Associated Press . . . since there have been tons of newspapers/websites/blogs picking it up . . . Here's a link to one of the stories- Bushels of "Smurfberries" cost parents buckets of cash

I also did a quick interview with KGO Radio in San Francisco and a quick blurb on the local news station (below)

Some of my Favorite Posts, Reposted!

2010-11-18T11:29:00.000-08:00

I was looking through all my old posts (it's what I do the weeks following a Surrogacy birth) and several stood out as some of my favorite posts. What makes them my favorites? Well a few things . . . comment response, tickled my funny bone or just took me back to a really sweet time. I may make this into a tab on the side . . . . hmmmmmmm

Originally Posted on 4/22/09 My Uterus is Just Very Friendly! . . . proceeding with second journey.

Originally Posted on 11/6/2008 Shaved Legs and Memory Lane #1 - Ruby's birth/first birth experience aka Poop fest.

Originally Posted on 8/26/10 These are a few of my favorite things . . .

Originally Posted on 6/30/09 It's the Least I could've done . . . - recalling the Thank You BBQ George and Sanj threw my family where I got to meet their friends.

Originally Posted on 7/16/09 How to remember . . . - where I decide how to commenarate my Surrogacy journeys.

Originally Posted on 12/28/09 Where is all the Good PR on Surrogacy? - because it can be read enough.

Originally Posted on 5/8/10 It's Hard to Name Babies - and guess what? They went with one of my unused names! YAY!

NOH8 Campaign: WHY I POSED WITH MY UTERUS

2010-11-15T23:09:00.001-08:00

If you remember, back in June 2010 I went to San Francisco Pride with two of my surrogate friends. One of the most eventful activities we participated in was the NOH8 Photo Shoot.

When we got to the front of the line, we introduced ourselves and explained why I was exposing my belly and putting the stickers on it. I am not sure if we were the first Surrogates to pose for photographs but just in case, I sent them pictures of us waiting in line and one from the Pride Parade. Later, I saw they posted it on their blog (towards the bottom). At the time, I told them I'd compose a "WHY I POSED" but never got around to writing it down. Well, I finally ordered copies of my picture and it arrived today . . . so I figured, I should take the time to complete it.

One day, it would be awesome to take another NOH8 photo with the my both my surro-families; 4 Dads, 2 sets of twins and the Surrogate that loves them all, me.

WHY I POSED WITH MY UTERUS

In the last 9 years I have given birth to seven children. Three are my own and four (two sets of twins) are babies I birthed for two different Gay couples. My Uterus is an Ally.

I consider my Surrogacy for Gay Men my own Uterine Activism. I feel strongly and passionately about Equality and figure, if I don't have tons of money to donate to the cause, I at least have a Uterus and Blog that can send a powerful message. I belong to HRC, make donations to organizations fighting for LGBT Rights, including Marriage Equality and posing for the NOH8 Campaign was one more thing I could do to let society and my own kids know that I SUPPORT GAY FAMILIES.

Please know that I will continue to "fight the fight" because no one has the right to tell my friends, the fathers' of my surro-babies or (many years from now) my own children that they can't marry whoever they LOVE. I pledge to repeal Prop 8 and restore marriage equality in California . . . and I promise I will fight for your rights until the day I die.

*Natasha & Anjali 11/28/08
*Gideon & Harper 10/12/10

-Kelly & her Uterus

***** UPDATE *****

They have put it on their site . . . here's the direct link to mine CLICK HERE and if you want to read other people's stories CLICK HERE! I also have it below, so years from now I'll still have it, when the link isn't working anymore.

Repost: Scars Are Cool

2010-11-15T23:04:00.000-08:00

I was checking out my c-section scar this morning and it reminded me of this post . . . so I thought I'd share it again.
Repost from January of 2009

All my surgical tape has fallen off (okay, some of it pulled) to reveal a C-section scar about 5.5 inches long. This is one of the things my OB, Dr. Knight will be checking this Tuesday at my 6-week follow up appointment. This got me thinking about scars in general.

The definition of the word Scar:

1. A mark left on the skin after a surface injury or wound has healed.

2. A lingering sign of damage or injury, either mental or physical.

I agree with the first meaning but I'm not quite "on board" for the second (regarding my own experience). When I look at my scar the last thing that comes to my mind is "damage or injury".

I look at My Scar and see a lingering signs of Hope, Joy and Family.

I'm not going to say I don't have any vanity, because I do, but I am a bit bummed that my days of wearing bikinis are over. This has nothing to do with the scar from my surrogacy pregnancy, it has to do with my belly from my own three pregnancies. The last time I wore a bikini was probably the year 2000. The scar is so low that even with a bikini on (when Hell freezes over) no one would see my scar. It's kind of a bummer because it could be a great conversation starter.

The subject of scars even takes me back to the night before our embryo transfer. I was watching The Replacements on TV while trying to "talk myself down" to administer the shots. There's a great line from the movie that comes to mind. The Quarterback is in a huddle trying to say something inspirational to his teammates before a win or lose play of the game. What he comes up with is . . ."Pain heals, Chicks dig scars... Glory lasts forever".

Well, the pain is gone . . . I'll have to get back to you on the other two! ;)

Slideshow of Belly- Journey #2

2010-11-13T09:45:00.000-08:00

Since D and N (the Intended Parents from my second journey) lived farther away, I did a much better job of taking belly pics this time around. When I look at this slideshow I really wish I would've done this with my own children and Natasha and Anjali.

As of now the "Wonder Twins Complete Journey" starts at our positive home pregnancy test and ends with me in my hospital gown, going in for my C-section. Enjoy!*

*For those of you that are other surrogates carrying twins, don't let my belly scare you . . . I can get big! :)

Getting Back to Normal Can Take Weeks

2010-11-12T11:02:00.000-08:00

First of all- I know Two Babies that are a month old today! Time fly's when you're having fun . . . or aren't raising babies you just birthed!

I can't believe it's already been one month since Gideon and Harper were born. I have a feeling my last 4 weeks have been completely different from N and D's . . . just as it was different than George and Sanj's first month.

I have been losing weight and they have been losing sleep. I have been trying to get my life "back to normal" and their "normal" has changed forever.

For me, it's been a hard getting things "back to normal" this time around. Being on bed rest for several weeks was great because the babies stayed in for almost 38 weeks and helped my swelling come down but boy did it SUCK! It's almost impossible to take care of 3 kids and a business while on bed rest. Thankfully, my mom came up again (like last time) for a few weeks to help out. I was able to drive to doctors appointments, so Tuesdays and Fridays were a dream. I would actually do my hair and make-up because I had someplace to go . . . well, usually I would. I guess the one day STAR Magazine decided to take a picture of me (for an article that came out in an early November issue) I had neither my hair nor my make-up done. Luckily, the article was very nice but the picture, well, I guess it could've been worse . . . I could've been bending over or picking my nose. I even had several customers tell me they couldn't believe that was a picture of me, because "I'm so pretty in person" . . . LOL . . . yeah, usually I'm photogenic too, but what are you gonna do?! But I digress . . .

Once I got home from the hospital, I wanted things to go back to normal (after weeks of doing nothing) but recovering from surgery doesn't quite make that an option. So for the last few weeks, I've been taking it easy, trying not to re-open my "baby wound" and longing for the day I can lift heavy things at work and re-join the Gym. I have a 2-4 more weeks until that can happen, but I know it's coming and that makes me happy.

I also rejoined Facebook, for sanity's sake. I thought it best to dump my Facebook back in August, after the news of my IPs expecting leaked. It was hard enough not telling anyone about who my Intended Parents were, but with all the coincidences piling up (surrogacy, twins, October due date, Disneyland trip) . . . it became impossible. Friends would ask, "Are you their Surrogate" or "I think I know who your IP's are . . . am I right?" I would just email/text/say back, "How cool would that be?" It has been great to get back on and interact with everyone. I really missed seeing what all my friends were up to.

Lastly, I am going to do a post about "The Blues" that a lot of Surrogates, including myself, go through after the birth . . . so there will be a bit more of "getting back to normal" in that post too. But for now, I have to sign off . . . have normal mom stuff to do- laundry, Doctor's appointments and Dinner to think about. I guess my NORMAL, for the most part, has returned.

Email Time Capsule Arrived!

2010-11-10T14:24:00.000-08:00

What a difference 5 years makes!

Well, this morning I checked my email and the usual stuff was there . . . spam from Old Navy, emails from my former IPs, Facebook notifications and business stuff. Nestled in there was an email from Forbes entitled 2005. It was an email I wrote to myself from 2005. I love stuff like this. It's the same reason I'm one of those lame mom's who writes the full page letter that accompanies the Holiday Card. I love to look back and remind myself where I was, where I thought I was going, etc.

Thought I'd share it with you (in bold) and my comments about it (not bolded).

Greetings from your past. In the fall of 2005, you agreed to receive this message, which has been preserved in the Forbes.com E-Mail Time Capsule. For more details, visit the links below.
Here is the text of your message:

You are living in a one bedroom apt while you wait for your house in Gridley to be finished (next week). We look back on this time as the "dark weeks" . . . we had to move out of our first house 6 weeks before our current house was finished. We chose to rent a furnished apartment and thought, "how bad could it be?" Glass 1/2 empty- we went from 2500 sf to a little over 800 for 6 weeks . . . 1 bed, 1 bathroom, fold out couch and no cable. I missed the entire last season of Alias! Glass 1/2 full- went from 800sf to 3440sf . . . it was like moving from our living room to a palace! LOL CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE

Ruby is 4 and Preston is 2 1/2 and you just turned 31. CLICK HERE FOR PICTURE Oh, sweet memories . . . when Ruby didn't have an attitude and Preston was loving wearing his new "big boy underpants" . . . and I was so young, 31 sounds way better than 36!

Ricky and you just celebrated your 5 year wedding anniversary. The second 5 years went just as quickly as the first five!

Kids- debating about having another . . . . want one but sometimes think about how much easier it would be with 2. Obviously, we decided to go ahead and go for the #3 baby. Actually, this is around the time I applied to be a Surrogate. Then when Growing Generations called me about it, Ricky and I decided to finish our own family before we proceeded with the Surrogacy. So we put my online application on hold and got busy . . . less than a year later Sawyer was born. *Actually, according to this, I've birthed 5 babies in 5 years! Now of course, that includes 2 sets of twins, so it's more like 3 births in 5 years . . . .but it sounds much cooler the first way!

Jobs- working PT at American River College but just applied for FT at Chico State in the EOP program Still working Part Time at ARC but never even got an interview for the Chico State job . . . their loss! I can't feel too bad, I've actually gotten every job I've ever interviewed for . . . well, except for APPLE, which went on a hiring freeze (10 years ago) after my second phone interview for a Curriculum Developer postition. Man, I still think how different my life would have been if that freeze never happened and I had 10 years worth of Apple Stock. But things happen for a reason . . . maybe I wouldn't have had the time to be a Surrogate? Things worked out exactly as they should've, I know that much!

5'4" and about 1XX-1XXlbs depending Yes- I blocked it out . . . no one knows my weight!!! I'm still the same height and about 3-5 pounds heavier . . . not too bad for birthing 5 kids in 5 years! LOL

I'm glad I did this. Just wish I did the 10 year option too . . . maybe I did! Maybe in 2015 I'll get another one. I totally forgot I had done this but now that I think about it, I think I did do another one with encouraging words. Guess I'll have to wait and see!

Does My Uterus Need a Life Alert?

2010-11-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

So today is my birthday. Usually, I could care less about being another year older but this year, for some reason, I'm feeling old. Actually, it's my uterus that is getting old. I've heard that 36 is the new 26 . . . . well, unless you're a Surrogate, then you might as well be 80!

Here's the thing . . . at 36 is when the insurance Growing Generations uses for Surrogacy goes up. Now, they aren't calling you old, they're just saying your uterus has seen better days, years, in fact. You can still be a Surrogate, it's just that your IPs will have to pay a little bit more to insure your old, worn uterus.

I'm not saying that I would for sure be a Surrogate for the third time but it's nice to know it's an option and I guess it is, as long as I don't waste time deciding. In my mind, if either set of my IPs asked for me to carry for them again, I would say YES. I have developed a wonderful relationship with both couples and think it would be cool to help provide another child for them. However, I know George and Sanj's family was complete with Natasha and Anjali and my other IPs have 3 week old twins . . . so I'm going to guess they aren't thinking of extending their family just yet. (Even though, as crazy as it seems, it would be something you'd need to start thinking about because the Surrogacy process is far from lightening fast).

Most of my friends and family have already asked me (even before I delivered) if this was the last time. I'd just tell them, I don't know, but it probably is. I think I'm in denial that my Surrogacy days are probably over, if I don't say I'm 100% not ever going to do this again, I don't have to think how sad that would be. Kind of like after giving birth to Sawyer, my youngest, I knew he was it for us but I didn't want to say it aloud, or that would make it true.

So for now, I'm not going to say never . . . but that it's pretty unlikely. I have dreams of a tummy tuck and it would be great not to be pregnant at my 20th High School reunion. Not to mention my uterus may go from "beautiful" to "she looks good for her age" . . . which I suppose is a lot better than "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Ricky Martin on Oprah Winfrey

2010-11-02T22:23:00.000-07:00

Oprah isn't one of the shows I normally watch (I'm an Ellen girl) but since Ricky Martin was on today and he is a gay male who used a Surrogate to have his twins, I had to DVR it . . . . that's right up my alley! :)

It was great to watch him be so at ease with himself after denying who he was for so long. I swear I teared up several times during the hour long program.

Now onto the Surrogacy part. He stated that he used a Surrogate and it was similar to a Private Adoption and implied that the surrogate didn't know who he was, that she just wanted to carry the babies and get on with her life and that a lot of Surrogates preferred it like this.

Hmmmmmm . . . I guess that type of Surrogate exists but I have yet to meet (online or in person) a Surrogate who didn't want to form some sort of friendship with the Intended Parents. This sounds a lot like the "Womb for Rent" views that drive me nuts. I can't imagine carrying babies for someone and never meet them, not share the months that their babies are growing, and not seeing their faces the very moment their children are born. I understand he's famous but it can be done.

Sure, certain parts may leak, but it is doable . . . it is possible to meet and form a friendship over the journey. Have them there for the embryo transfer, various ultrasounds and appointments, spend time with the surrogate and her family, etc. Surrogacy can already seem surreal for IPs . . . meet your surrogate, possibly see them a few times (if you don't live too far away) and then, BAM- you have babies. This must have been super Surreal for Ricky . . . interview your Surrogate on the phone and then get your twins months later. Who knows, maybe they talked on the phone or emailed or had a secret blog . . . something to share the information about the pregnancy. Or maybe I'm letting my personal feelings about Surrogate/IP relations get in the way and this woman really was perfectly fine carrying babies for a man she met over the phone . . . who just happened to be Ricky Martin. Stranger things have happened.

Happy Halloween!

2010-11-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd share a few pics from Halloween 2010. Can't share any pictures of Gideon and Harper yet, but I was excited to receive an email with their first Halloween photo shoot- very cute and ghoulish :) They are almost 3 weeks old already!

Here's Natasha, Anjali, George and Sanj . . . very adorable Siberian Tigers & Dads!

Here's one of Anjali with her Appah

and here's Natasha, stalking :)

And here's one of my own children

Hope everyone had a great Halloween, whether it was their first, second or 10th! :)

My Favorite Post Delivery Question of All Time

2010-10-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

Now this hasn't happened yet, but I know, eventually it will, because with me, it always does.

My Favorite Post Delivery Question of All Time . . . (drumroll please)

"So When Are You Due?"
This is an excellent question- for someone who is still pregnant. However, for those of us who have already delivered, it is the biggest kick in the stomach . . . squishy, stretched out stomach.

With Surrogacy it's even more likely. Most people know not to ask, "When Are You Due?" when you have a baby in a stroller with you. With Surrogacy, there are no baby/babies to show what you were just up to- so chances are, someone is going to think the baby/babies haven't arrived yet. Bummer.

Now I know that most women will still look about 5-6 months pregnant after they deliver, that is pretty average . . . the baby/babies are gone, so is the placenta(s) and lots of fluid . . . but for some, including me, it will take months (or years) to not look pregnant. There are also women who will leave the hospital looking like they just went in to visit a friend who had a baby . . . I have some friends like that . . . there are lots of words I could use swirling around in my head, but these are friends, so I will just smile and be happy for their flat stomach. Yes, Happy, that's the word I'll go with.

Last time, after I gave birth to Natasha and Anjali, I ran into an older customer who asked when I was due. I was dumbfounded. Sure I had heard it before, but I was a good 26 pounds lighter than the last time she saw me and about 16 inches less around the waist. How in the hell could she not tell? I mean, come on! All I have to say is that it was good that she was in her 80's and fragile, because in my mind, the only thing I could think about was kicking that cane out from underneath her. LOL

Here I was about 2 weeks before the birth of the girls

Don't you think she would've noticed, even if the belly was, say, half it's size? I guess No.

Here I am the day of the birth of my second journey-

And here I am leaving the hospital, only down about 18 pounds at the time (can someone say 6 bags of fluid?)

Yes, I know, I look pregnant still . . . but not 9 months with twins! HELLO!

It hasn't been long since the birth, I'm already down 38 pounds as of today and yes, I still look pregnant. I'm going to hope will all my might that I make it through the next month without the dreaded question . . . but I'm certainly not going to bet money on it.

*** UPDATE- 2 weeks post birth and I'm down 47 pounds . . . which is weird because I only gained about 36 in the pregnancy . . . but I'll take it!!! ***

It Gets Better Video . . .

2010-10-19T13:46:00.000-07:00

I saw this and of course, ended up in tears. Growing Generations clients Bill and Bill, with their family that they created through Surrogacy, explain to teens who are thinking of suicide or who just feel alone . . . . It Gets Better . . .

CLICK HERE

As an ALLY, I try to share my experiences with Surrogacy so that other women may think this is something they might consider doing as well. So far I know of at least five women who have applied to be or who have become Surrogates since meeting me or running into my blog. I hope that it spreads, that they may be a positive catalyst for others to become open about the idea of being a Surrogate too.

Who knows, 20 years from now, when my children talk about how their mom helped 2 different couples become families, maybe someone will decide Surrogacy is for them as well . . . . and become a surrogate for a man who remembers that as a teen, he didn't think it would get better . . .

. . . but it will, because I promise I will fight for your rights until the day I die.

The Importance of the Matching Process

2010-10-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

I just saw a blog that featured an article regarding a Canadian couple that found out the fetus their Surrogate was carrying was likely to be born with Down syndrome. The Intended Parents choice was to terminate the pregnancy, however, the Surrogate didn't want to abort the fetus. Now, this is a hard issue for any couple to deal with, I can't imagine having to make that decision as a parent. As a Surrogate, I know what my decision would be . . . whatever the parents wanted because it's not my fetus.

Growing Generations, my agency, discusses such things through the entire process. It starts when you fill out your profile and you let them know your thoughts on several possible issues. They ask about your feelings on the termination of the pregnancy for whatever reason and they even ask about selective reduction . . . how you feel about going from 3 embryos to 2, 3 to 1, 2 to 1 etc.

The above questions, along with a lot of others, help my agency find a couple that have similar views of what I want my surrogacy journey to be . Both the IPs and Surrogate get to see each other's Profiles, so we can see what we agree on and things that may need to be discussed further. Now, I can't speak for other agencies or Surrogates who choose to go independent, but all this is discussed AGAIN at the actual match meeting. You need to discuss all of this so that everyone is on the same page and it is much easier to discuss what you would do/what is best for you (IPs and Surrogate) BEFORE you are pregnant and in the situation of possible termination/reduction.

But here's the thing, there is someone out there for everyone. I would never carry triplets but there are other Surrogates who would . . . so obviously, I would never match with someone who wouldn't reduce if we ended up with 4 or 3. At the same time, there are some Surrogates who would not participate in a termination for any reason. I, on the other hand am Pro-Choice and realize that the fetus(es) I carry are not mine, so Ultimately, it isn't my decision. Yes, it's my body, but it's their future child/children. What I may chose for my own family (if I found out my fetus had Down's Syndrome, Spinal Bifida,etc.) has nothing to do with someone else's child.

I have really lucked out that none of this has ever been an issue for me in my journey as a Surrogate or as a Mother. I can't say the same for some of my surro-friends.

One Surrogate I know had to reduce from 3 to 1 and it was really tough on her. Of course she complied, as all this was discussed numerous times before she was pregnant, but I'm positive that it affected her negatively as her blog told the story of someone dealing with something I never had to deal with . . . even including a little ticker that mentioned 2 angels going to heaven. When I saw that, the first thing I thought was, "Whoa! I hope her IP's don't read her blog" and my other thought was that she obviously was deeply affected by what had transpired and I hope I would never have to feel the way she was feeling.

Another surro-friend carried twins, one that was diagnosed with Down's Syndrome. They told the parents the baby wouldn't survive the pregnancy . . . she lived until she was 4. When I asked this surrogate her opinion about this new story she said, " . . . Now, having been there and done that . . . it absolutely, unequivocally, HAS to be the PARENT'S choice. This is a sacrifice we make as surrogates. We are not the parent." I couldn't agree more.

Thank You and Congratulations Robert Edwards!

2010-10-06T08:32:00.000-07:00

This week, the 2010 Nobel Prize for Medicine went to Robert Edwards for his amazing work in pioneering In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF).

Without his work, Natasha and Anjali and the babies I am carrying now would not have been created, as well as about 4 million other babies world wide. So thank you!!!

A Growing Generations Story on Nightline!

2010-09-29T08:21:00.001-07:00

Growing Generations and one of their amazing families was featured on ABC's Nightline this week in a segment entitled Ultra-Modern Family. It was about Scotch, Todd and surrogate Kristy's journey as they create the lives of 3 beautiful babies . . . Yes- three! If you're unable to watch, the segment is available online at: http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/video/real-modern-family-11762563 LINKED HERE

And here's a link to something Scotch wrote about his and Todd's Journey to Parenthood. CLICK HERE

Lastly, a teaser on Oprah- CLICK HERE.

I'll be DVRing it and will write comments later. Hoping it's great PR on Surrogacy!

***UPDATE- My comments on the Nightline Segment***
So, first thing is first . . . I actually really liked this segment on Nightline. A few reasons? Well, it dealt with my agency, gay fathers and a surrogate who isn't "down and out". Not to mention the person they had on to discuss the "other side" didn't come off as a total as*hole and make me want to throw something at the TV.

* I liked what Stuart, one of the CEO's of Growing Generations had to say. I thought he did a nice job, even discussing the adoption arguemnet that a lot of people bring up. However, if I can interject, and I know I've said this before, why don't people ask straight couples who are having babies why they didn't adopt?

* Kristy, the surrogate, is a teacher, married, with 3 of her own children. Do you know what that means? She has a College Education, makes decent money without Surrogacy and Nightline even commented about how she wanted to work with a gay couple. Were we seperated at birth? LOL Although, I did find it funny they mentioned that Growing Generations' Surrogates make around $30,000 . . . let me tell you, first time surrogates with a singleton or twins don't receive that in compensation, even a second time surrogate with singleton wouldn't be compensated $30,000. But I think it's safe to say that most Women at Growing Generations are Surrogates for other reasons besides the compensation.

And I loved how the IPs talked about how Kristy and her family are part of their family and will be forever . . . see, it's not just George, Sanj and my family!

*Glenn Stanton from Focus on The Family, which is an anti-gay organization, seemed to be the counter point of the segment. However, he either didn't communicate well or parts of what he said were cut in the editing room because the statements he made could've really been taken either way. It wasn't overt hate or yelling and since I know it was supposed to be the anti-gay parenting/surrogacy view, I was a bit confused. I felt that the way I interpreted what he said wasn't all that negative. The only really "in your face" part was when they showed a clip of several of their posters/handouts . . . "You don't have to be Gay" "Preventing Homosexuality," etc.

He mentions the re-writing of the human script on what makes a family . . . is that supposed to be negative? There are lots of things that need to be revised through time (i.e. who has the right to vote? who has the right to marry?) Glenn says, "Now, we're saying that parenting is not about being male and female but about any grouping of adults who have a good heart and the love towards the child. And that is a radical, humanly radical statement." Not sure what makes parents who "have a good heart and love towards the child" a radical statment- to me seems to be a no-brainer. Of course, he's talking about the fact that the parents are the same gender as radical . . . eh?? I don't see it. :)

Oh- and when I went to Focus on the Family's website, their tagline is "Helping Families Thrive", but since they don't want all families to thrive, only straight ones (with a mom and a dad) perhaps they should revise their tagline . . . . how about "Helping Straight Married Families Thrive" or something to that tune?

Not a Surrogate, but Pregnant and had to share

2010-09-23T16:39:00.000-07:00

I think this video is hysterical! I love seeing Pregnant ladies dance . . . . and this one can actually hold her own. I'm not sure if I'm more impressed by her dance moves or that fact she can still wear sneakers (I'm always banished to flip-flops around 25 weeks), Now I hate to spoil it, but her water doesn't break at the end . . . .

The other one I love is a skit Amy Poehler did on SNL called "I'm no Angel" . . . where she's pregnant and hanging out at a bar, with a little dance sequence in it. LOVE IT but can never find it online. *sigh*

It's a great month to be an Ashley!

2010-09-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

Sharing some great news . . . .

First of all, my friend Ashley (who I referred to Growing Generations) had her transfer and found out a few days ago her Beta Test was positive! Yeah! She'll have her ultrasound soon to confirm the pregnancy is continuing and to see if there's one or two.

My other surro friend Ashley (who I've mentioned on my blog before) gave birth to her surro triplets and everyone is doing well.
To read her birth story, see pictures of some huge almost 32 week triplet princesses click HERE!

I can't imagine triplets- whoa!

These are a few of my favorite things . . .

2010-08-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

I was day dreaming the other day and The Sound of Music came in my mind, so I figured I'd do a little post . . . minus the " . . . Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels . . "

These are few of my favorite things, about Surrogacy

* Reading the Profile of the Intended Parents . . . how they met, describing each other (for George and Sanj I loved reading about their wedding!)

* Having a great Match Meeting- you leave just knowing this is the Couple you're going to help turn into a Family.

* The Excitement when your meds arrive . . . something is finally happening!

* Telling the IPs that you're pregnant . . . and that your "high number" may mean twins! (I'm 2 for 2 on this one!)

* Witnessing the IPs hear the heart beat or see their embryos/fetus' on the ultrasound for the first time.

* Being able to Blog about my experiences.

* Seeing how excited your Intended Parents are . . . and how nervous they get as you approach the due date.

* Finding out what the genders are . . . hearing the Ultrasound Tech now call them the IP's son(s) or daughter(s) . . .

* Meeting Other Surrogates who "totally get it" (Thank you Facebook and other Blogs!)

* Feeling that you are making a difference in several people's lives. including your own.

* Seeing people's reactions when I tell them I'm a surrogate- and the conversation that follows.

* Having the IPs meet and spend time with my kids- that way they get to know me better and also my kids can see, first hand, that two men can love each other and have a family if they wish.

* Being able to educate people on Surrogacy (answering questions, blogging, etc.)

* Babies!!!!

* The look on the Parent's faces in the delivery room as their child/children make their entrance.

* The tears shed by the grandma and other family members moments and days past the birth . . . including the hugs and thank you's for helping make their sons the parents they deserve to be.

* Having my kids meet the babies in the hospital . . . a great lesson on giving and what makes a family. Plus, Ruby loves holding babies! :)

* Being able to go home and not raise additional kids :) - i.e. wake up for feedings, changing diapers, etc.

* Getting email and phone call updates on how things are going, including pictures and visiting my surro- families . . . . whether it be for days, weeks, months or years.

* Knowing that even after the birth, we will always be a part of each other lives, even if just by a memory of the wonderful and exciting year (or more) that we grew a family.

Over 20,000 Hits!

2010-08-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

Woot! Woot! We finally passed 20,000 hits. Now, I know it's taken us a few years to reach it but we did. I also know that there are blogs that get over 20,000 hits a day but I'm a little blog, so cut me some slack. I also don't have enough time to put together one of those blogs with all the coupons . . . now those get traffic! LOL

For now, I'll continue to talk about surrogacy and hope my blog spreads by word of mouth. So if you enjoy it, feel free to pass it on!

Back to School brings back memories!

2010-08-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

My kids go back to school in a few weeks, so we've been procrastinating the event that is Back to School shopping. Don't get me wrong, I actually like shopping for school supplies . . . that is once it's all bought and at home. Even though it's been about 18 years since I graduated high school and about 11 years since getting my Masters, I still love seeing pens, pencils, binders, protractors all lined up. It takes me back to when I was in school. I got to relive this for the five years I used to teach high school (before Ruby was born) . . . buying stuff for my classroom, decorating it, figuring out seating charts, etc. Ohhhhhh, I get excited just typing about it. And believe it or not, there's a certain part of Surrogacy that makes me feel the same way . . .

Getting your Meds! Of course I hate taking all the injections, I'm not big on shots at all. Remember back to my first time? But there is a certain excitement you get when your FedEx box full of needles, hormones, alcohol swabs, band aids, etc. arrives. It's a lot like Back to School Shopping. Years ago, I'd take all my stuff out and lay it out in front of me. I'd anxiously unwrap everything and take the price tags off. Put all the school supplies in my new back pack- ahhhh so fun! I'm sure you can see the organization of the 12+ weeks of shots is very similar!

I remember in my first journey, I had my Meds shipped to my work (it had to be signed for) and couldn't wait to get home that night. I tore open my box and layed it all out on the table. Separated everything, made sure to read all the directions and proceeded to organize it by bag. By my second journey I had happened upon another surrogates blog and she had a picture of how she organized her Meds. I LOVED IT! I knew that was exactly what I was going to do the next time around. It was organized and even better I could daydream about getting my Meds . . . laying them out . . . and then putting them in my brand new organizer. I'm almost getting goosebumps reliving it all now! LOL

Well, here it is . . . a Surrogates "Back to School" Shopping if you will

All of my Surrogate readers are going to relate, I'm sure. The rest of you, just take my word for it. I know that when any of my Facebook Surrogate friends mentions her Meds arrived, there seems to be quite the celebration and remembrance by the rest of us. Sure, part of it is the Back to School organization fun but the other is the excitement of your journey really getting started. It could have been weeks or even months since you applied to be a surrogate, got screened, got matched, etc . . . but your Meds arriving really shows that soon, you will be helping create a family . . . and that is WAY COOLER than a bunch of graph paper, pencil sharpeners and high lighters!

A little bit of a Vent . . .

2010-08-07T12:24:00.001-07:00

Okay, so now that I'm calmed down I thought I'd share something from my comments section. I received a Comment that came in under my Gary and Tony have a Baby Post. I will copy and paste it here, along with my response and then discuss it . . .

Anonymous said...
If Your not attached to them then why not let them be a family without you? (Does the doctor from your own children births still hang around in your family pictures?)
And why all the pictures anyway? Are you going to be an AUNT to them???
Seems funny to me!!!
8/3/10 10:51 PM

To which I replied in the Comments Section:

Kelly's Uterus said...
Anonymous- If it seems funny to you I'm assuming you haven't followed our journey from the beginning and just stumbled upon this or a few posts.

When I gave birth to their girls, I was invited to their future wedding . . . I get emails and phone calls from George and Sanj and get invited over often. And yes, actually (smart ass) I am going to be an Aunt- at least that is what George and Sanj would like. If George and Sanj wanted to be a family without me, I would think they would sever contact. I was told in our match meeting that they wanted a relationship that went past the birth and things haven't changed.

Why so many pictures? Well, because I have lots of followers who would love to see how the girls are growing and have been with our journey since March of 2008.

Oh, and for the record Dr. Task and Dr. Knight don't hang around in my family pictures because they were my doctor and nothing more . . . I saw them once a month for 10 minutes . . . they did not become friends and they certainly didn't put their life in danger to help me create a family. I hope this answers your questions
8/3/10 11:12 PM

Now I was a little mad when I read this although it was very obvious to me that they are not a regular follower or didn't take the time to read the last 2 years of posts because if he/she had, they would see that the relationship I have with George and Sanj is a bit different than some other surros have with their Intended Parents. I sent George and Sanj a copy of the comment and my reply and they also thought it was ridiculous. I also reminded them that if/when it ever comes up that they need me to not be around as much, to let me know and I will gladly follow their wishes . . . to which they joked that they would, " . . . sooner tire of each first, silly! . . ." LOL

George even sent me an email about how he would've responded if he was me (the surrogate):

"Dear Anonymous, thanks for your comment and your interest in my writing. Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) is bringing so many wonderful things to so many people who otherwise wouldn't be able to have families. I am honoured to play my part in all of this.

Different surrogates are motivated in different ways, and as you can tell from my articles, I want to help the world. I had no idea that my first time as a surrogate would not only fulfill that dream, but also introduce me to a couple of people that I wanted as friends. And I can say on behalf of Sanj & George they feel the same way.

The whole process could have been at arms-length, more of a transaction. Instead, I have more people in my life that I care about, and they do too. Our families have become close. I don't want to imply that this happens to all surrogates and to all intended parents. It may be the exception. But no matter how you meet new people and are drawn to them as friends and family, it is a blessing."

And it's comments like this from George and Sanj that tell me that the relationship our "extended" family has is exactly how we want it to be. If Anonymous wants to think it "seems funny" or thinks I should "leave them alone to be a family" he/she obviously hasn't had a powerful relationship like ours and that saddens me.

My NOH8 Photo is Finally Here!

2010-07-28T22:13:00.000-07:00

Yay! The NOH8 Campaign uploaded the pictures from the photo shoot during SF PRIDE. I loved looking through everyone's pictures. I do like my photo, although I am a bit bummed there wasn't much belly in it. Perhaps they were doing me a favor and it had a funny shape or something :)

Here's THE LINK to my picture but bigger

Stacie and Heather's photos turned out Great too!

They're doing another photo shoot in Seattle in August, part of me wants to go since my belly will be even bigger, but it's the same weekend as an important clothing buying event for my store. Oh well :(
Seeing my picture makes me daydream about taking a Creative Group shot with both my sets of IPs and their children, with me in the middle. How AWESOME would that be?!!

The next step . . . I have to write my Why I Posed blog, but I'm pregnant and tired, so I'll do that later.

Oh so CUTE girlie pics!!

2010-07-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

Here are the girls at around 20 months old!!! I can't believe they're almost 2!

Here's Anjali laughing

and here's Natasha taking some pictures on Appah's iphone

and here are two more of the cutest surro girlie twins around

I'm loving the piggy tails by the way!!!! ADORABLE!!

Kids say the greatest things . . .

2010-07-12T14:13:00.000-07:00

I know, we've all heard this but it is doubly true when it's about a Surrogacy. Whether they're saying funny things about you being pregnant or educating others about surrogacy, it can be priceless. Here are a few and I will add more as things are said or as I remember from the last time. Feel free to post yours in the Comment Section!

Some of my favorites so far-

* Preston (my 7 year old) . . . "Wow Mom, your belly is like Kung Fu Panda's belly."

* Sawyer (my 3 year old) when he ran into my belly in the hallway . . . "Those babies hit me."

* Ruby (was 7 years at the time) when she was answering a classmate who told her 2 men can't have babies . . . "What do you mean? George and Sanj are having babies."

* Preston (7 yrs) when a stranger was helping me move a box into the back of my van at Sam's Club . . . "My mom has 2 babies in her belly . . . . but they aren’t ours . . . ”

* A little girl at Preston's dance class (age 7yr) . . . "So, those babies aren't yours? You aren't keeping them? . . . "You don't like them or something?"

* The same little girl when she saw me wearing my bellybuds . . . "They can hear Music? Cool. . . . (then whispering) Can they hear me right now?"

* Ruby (my 8 year old daughter) when she found out my IP's had recorded children's stories on the bellybuds and when I told her no . . . "Ohhhhh, Can I listen to the stories? . . . . But I don't want to read them myself."

San Francisico PRIDE 2010- Surro friends weekend!

2010-06-28T12:26:00.000-07:00

We had such a great time this year at San Francisco Pride! It was my surrogate getaway weekend, so we tried to make the most of it. It was a weekend of fun, great eating and showing the love. We had a blast, it was like a slumber party- I hadn't stayed up that late in a long time! :)

Here we are in our shirts at the Parade- you can see the front and the back said "Proud Gestational Surrogate for Growing Generations" with their logo on it

And Sanj even joined us for the festivities Sunday!

Some of the yummy places we ended up eating at:

House of Nanking on Kearny
*just a warning, the more pregnant you are, the more difficult to find comfortable seating. They really pack you in there- I think the person next to me got to know me (and my uterus) very well . . . but the food was marvelous!

SPQR on Fillmore
* not to be confused with the neighborhood a few blocks down ( a bit iffy) . . . where we almost got out of the cab and just knew (call it gut feeling) it would not end well. LOL Here we are at the correct location

Aliotos at the Wharf
*this is my favorite restaurant in San Francisco . . . had my college graduation dinner and 30th birthday (surprise dinner with friends) there. So GOOD!!!

Hot Cookie Castro Street
*If you're in the Castro, Hot Cookie is a must! The macaroons are soooooooo yummy and the staff is great. However, if you're there around midnight on the Saturday night of Pride weekend- be ready for quite the crowd.

We went to Wicked Friday night. It was good. I LOVED the story but Elpheba (or whoever played her that night) . . . . well, she had her moments. It just made me wish I would've seen it with Indina Menzel, that's all. We also stopped by Walgreens on the walk back to the hotel to pick up a pregnancy test for Stacie, who had her transfer a few days before . . . and there was a very faded positive line. Then on Saturday and Sunday she retested and the positive line got even darker each time! YEAH!!!

I was so excited because the NOH8 Campaign was doing an Open Photo Shoot at the W hotel. I've been wanting to do this for a while, so luckily Stacie and Heather wanted to go too. I only wished I would've been farther along, so there was a HUGE Belly in the picture, but my current belly will have to do :) Once I get the picture, I'll post it. But for now, here's just a group pic we took in line

and then when I got to the front they gave me a logo on my face (and duck tape over mouth of course) and another logo once they heard my story. Here's just the belly with both stickers . . .

Once I get my actual professional picture, I'll write a blog about why I posed. Here's what someone else said (it touched me deeply) on why their family posed. CLICK HERE

Oh- and here was one of my favorite posters from this weekend

UPDATE- Stacie had her blood test and she is indeed pregnant for her second Surrogate Journey! Congrats to her Intended Parents!!!!

Gary and Tony Have a Baby

2010-06-24T23:52:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not revealing who my new IPs are (that always happens after the birth). . . I just wanted to write a little post on the program I watched on CNN tonight:
Gary and Tony Have a Baby

I was quite impressed with the piece and I'm hoping that a lot of people who have been interested in learning more on Gay Parenting and Surrogacy watched it too. Of course I put the link and description on my Facebook Page, so others that were unaware about the program could watch/record it if they were interested. I actually got the link from my Dad, who also posted it on Facebook, with the comment, "If you're still against allowing loving, intelligent, successful gay couples to parent, then you either have never seen the unspeakable child abuse that heterosexual couples regularly do or you are beyond narrow minded & possibly a full blown bigot." God, I love my dad!

Anyway, I don't have the time to critique the whole piece but I did want to touch on a few parts that bothered me . . .

* Soledad O'Brien asked them at some point why not just adopt . . . like adoption is something that is easy and readily available to gay parents. Not only that, but why are gay men always asked this but never once in my own three pregnancies, did anyone ever ask me why we wanted our own kids vs adoption?

* My biggest issue is always about Positive PR on Surrogacy. Even though, it wasn't overtly negative, like most TV programs on Surrogacy, I still wasn't 100% satisfied. I guess I won't ever be unless it's about me or some of my close surrogate friends who had a similar journey as me. The part that got me the most is when the surrogate discussed how she did have thoughts of keeping the baby and how she thought of him on a daily basis still. Now I know this was her feelings but there are plenty of surrogates out there that don't have those feelings, including me.

To Clarify- NEVER, EVER, NEVER did I think about keeping Natasha and Anjali. They weren't mine. I have three of my own. I don't want anymore kids hence the vasectomy (sorry to out you honey). And I do not think of them on a daily basis. When I go visit George, Sanj and the girls it's more to see how the girls are growing up and spend hours with GEORGE & SANJ. That is who I have a bond with, not the girls, really. It makes me want to email my new IPs and let them know, if they saw the show, they won't have to worry about that at all with me. I don't want to sound cold but I'm helping make a family, not tear one apart!

Of course there was the quick statement of the surrogate getting $30,000. She must be with a very generous agency because, with Growing Generations, you wouldn't receive that much for your participation in a single baby pregnancy until your third surrogacy journey and that was her first time. I remember seeing agencys that paid more but for me, I wanted to work with an agency in California that dealt with gay families, regardless with what they paid.

Another issue I had was that the surrogate only shared the fact that the parents were gay with some family members. She had some family who didn't agree. Well, neither do my Grandparents but I see it as a teachable moment (the teacher in me). None of my family were surprised by my desire to help two men create a family. Why? Because they know me and my passions, which include fighting for equality.

Oh and by the way- I didn't delete the program because I thought it would be great for my kids to see too. I love how CNN has a Parent and Teacher Discussion Guide available. This is great for those that want to share it with their kids or students and talk openly about it. Perhaps I'll show it in my class next semester.

SF PRIDE, Here We Come!

2010-06-16T14:37:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited because two of my surrogate friends Stacie and Heather are going to join me at PRIDE this year in San Francisco!
I haven't been in years, since I lived in San Francisco, but we're making it a Surro-mom weekend! We even had shirts made!
Stacie used my Uterine Activism slogan and designed the shirts for us. For those of you who now realize you can't live without a shirt like this, you can purchase one HERE. You can get them as a maternity shirt, like the one shown above, or a regular t-shirt, hoodie, etc. I will probably get a hoodie once I'm not pregnant anymore- but for now, not sure they make them big enough! LOL

A Must Have for Your Surrogate!

2010-06-12T13:44:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite memories from Ruby's birth was the moment Rick finally said something aloud. It was crazy . . . Ruby, just a few minutes old, turned towards Rick because she recognized his voice! Doctors and Nurses were talking, craziness was all around (remember her delivery?) but the moment she heard her father's voice, she knew.

Remember, babies can hear in the womb and some studies have shown that at 34 weeks they can even recall that information after birth! There has been lots of research on prenatal hearing/development. This is why a lot of expecting parents decide to "pipe in" music, foreign languages, etc . . . and it just got a lot easier!

I recevied this great item called bellybuds™ and I can't praise it enough. Basically, bellybuds™ are wearable speakers for pregnant women that want to play prenatal music and sounds to a developing child in the womb. They plug into any standard digital music device (I'm using it with an ipod shuffle) and are "specially designed to adhere gently to the varying curvature of a pregnant belly." So instead of having to hold headphones to your belly you can stick them on . . . beneath clothing or in full view and go about your day.

For any expecting mother it is a great item, but for Intended Parents and Surrogates . . . THEY ARE PERFECTION!

Depending on how far away and how often you see your Intended Parents, chances are the "Ruby Moment" I remember so clearly, won't be happening for them. Their baby/babies will have heard 9 months of you and your family, not their own. The surrobabies I have/am carrying will recognize my voice for sure. They will also be born recognizing the “da dum” from Law & Order, and they will, no doubt, recognize the most played CD’s in my car which currently are a burned CD of my kids’ favorite GLEE songs, RENT, and Depeche Mode.

So here's my thought- I think all Intended Parents should buy bellybuds™ for their Surrogate. They can accompany this with a digital music device that is full of hours of their own voices. It can just be any random conversation between the parents (mom, dad, other dad, other mom, etc) or, even better it can be a recording of the parents reading children's books or singing lullabies. You could even have messages from your other children or family members. So your baby will recognize your voice, even though you can't be there everyday to talk or read to them. Of course you can also fill the device with classical music, french lessons, whatever you want to share with your growing baby.

Now, some of you are thinking this might be embarassing if the ipod (or whatever you choose to use) is "listened to" by someone other than the occupants of your surrogates womb. Maybe . . . but just explain this to your surrogate. It's also the reason it may be better to fill the device yourself instead of emailing her tracks to download on her own ipod. And, if you don't want to buy your surrogate a brand new MP3 player look around for an old one you have, there are several older versions available on ebay or just tell her that she can borrow it. If my IPs had said, this is for the next few months, we'll get it back after birth, I wouldn't have bugged me a bit!

I like bellybuds™ so much, I emailed the company to see if I can sell them in my own baby boutique.

UPDATE- Ruby Q's is going to sell babybuds, yay! To get your pair- CLICK HERE

Visit with my surro girlies!

2010-06-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

Had a great Memorial Weekend with my family. Got to visit the inlaws and my surro family all in one fun filled weekend!
Rick, Ruby, Preston and Sawyer joined me this time too! We all couldn't believe how big the girls are getting. We were able to have lunch and hang out for several hours.

We got to see how much they love playing with their dolls and stroller . . . and how the one gets the play bottle wins! The weather was beautiful and we enjoyed George and Sanj's beautiful backyard.

Playing and smelling flowers

Sawyer even taught the girls a new (not so hygenic) trick

Ruby was having a great time having the girls follow her around but the boys, well, eventually the cuteness was no match for Dad's old Game Boy and cuddles

Here are the girls modeling some of the hair clips I brought for them

And of course our must take "The Five of Us" Group Picture

We had a great time hanging out with our surro family and can't wait for the next visit at our place this summer.

Is My Uterus Heterophobic? (and other things to think about)

2010-05-29T09:53:00.001-07:00

In the class I teach at American River College we discuss several things like Heterosexism, Homophobia, Straight Privilege, etc. So when a friend on Facebook asked me why I'm not a Surrogate for straight couples it got me thinking. . . .

Like I've stated in other posts before (Q&A), I've known I was going to be a Surrogate since High School and even back then I knew it would be for a gay couple. I don't think my Uterus is Heterophobic . . . it carried Ruby, Preston and Sawyer just fine . . . WAIT! HOLD ON . . . it actually kicked them out weeks early but carried the twins 3 weeks over Full Term for twins . . . hmmmmm.

I have thought of this before, you have to when you are filling out your Surrogacy Application. They ask you who you want to be matched with . . . Straight? Gay? Lesbian? Single? Couple? International (not living in the U.S.)? Interracial? The only ones I didn't mark were Straight (both times) and International (second time) . . . I can't remember if I marked Single.

My first set of IPs, George and Sanj were Gay, Married, and Interracial . . . they are Canadian but lived only 3 hours away from me in California. My Current IPs are Gay and live in the United States.

Part of my reasoning with selecting Gay Parents Only is I feel that there are already not too many women able to become a Surrogate and of them, only a select few may chose Gay vs Straight. So, I feel like the Straight Couples I don't help, will eventually get that help, and possibly quicker than their Gay Counterparts.

Another thing, and I've mentioned it before, I consider my Surrogacy for Gay Men my own Uterine Activism. I belong to HRC, made donations to organizations fighting Prop 8 (and years ago Prop 22) and this is another thing I can do to let society and my own kids know that I SUPPORT GAY FAMILIES. I belong to several groups on Facebook about this very thing and if I can't donate the Millions of Dollars I'd love to donate to my causes . . . I can put my Uterus where my mouth is.

I do have a few fears of carrying for Straight Couples . . . I'm not sure I would want to deal of any feelings of Jealousy that may come up, call it Uterine Envy, whatever, but I'm a woman and I know if I couldn't carry Rick's children, I may feel some weird feelings about the woman who was carrying our child. Sure, some of those feelings would be joy about being a parent . . . but to see him rubbing some other woman's belly . . . might be a bit much. I knew for sure that Sanj wasn't going to form some bond with me and leave George, I wasn't his type, at all (even though I have an amazing personality and am wildly attractive- LOL). Now, maybe I've seen Juno one to many times but that's just a fear I have. I know there are a lot of Surrogates (some that I know and follow my blog) that have had no issues with this but it is a thought that I have and when you are going into Surrogacy- the last thing you need is any reservations.

The second time around I didn't want an International Couple (who didn't live in the United States) because the best part of the Surrogacy for me is the relationship I form with my IPs. I really got spoiled with George and Sanj . . . seeing them monthly, having them able to come to appointments, ultrasounds and still being able to see the girls every few months. I think it would be much harder for that to happen (and expensive) if I chose an International Couple. Sure, there's iChat, Skype and the like but I'd prefer my IPs to be able to show up to some appointments and know for sure they could make it to the birth within a few hours. That's just me.

I think that as a Surrogate, you need to think of all of these options and what your feelings truly are. You want to have a great match and there is so much more you'll need to agree on besides these things . . . but even if you have a small doubt about your ability to work with someone because of gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. you need to choose what you feel comfortable with. It can be a hard situation to be in, so you want to start out feeling 100% about what you write on your application. You need to be completely honest. I know for me, if I marked International and got the profile of a couple that looks great on paper (has similar thoughts as I do on how the journey will go) I may say Yes because I want to help them out and I feel bad wondering how much longer they'd have to wait for a Surrogate if I said No . . . instead of going with my gut feeling that I want a couple I can see several times throughout the process. I may be matched with them and they'd be great but I'd have this "I thought so feeling" if the journey went how I thought it would go with an International Couple. Luckily for the IPs out there that don't fit my preferences, there are other Surrogates out there that want to work with a Straight or International Couple. One of my surro-friends picked a straight International Couple so it would be completely different than her previous 2 journey's with a Single Gay Man. I guess it's like any relationship . . . there is someone out there for everyone!

Oh, and I'm not sure exactly how to classify my Uterus . . . not sure it would fit the description of Heterophobic but it definitely has some prejudices regarding Straight Couples.

More Pics!

2010-05-23T12:26:00.000-07:00

I'm very excited! Rick, the kids and I get to go and visit the girls Memorial Day weekend. We'll be up at the inlaws and have made plans to swing by and visit George, Sanj, Natasha and Anjali one of the days. I'm giddy with anticipation!

Until then, here are some updated pictures to hold you over!

Happy Family!

Here are the girls with their beautiful Aunt Menaka

Here's a few of Natasha

eating corn

and here's some of Anjali

eating corn

It's Hard to Name Babies

2010-05-08T14:08:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest jobs about being Pregnant is trying to plan ahead, which usually includes picking a name for your child. As a Surrogate, this is one stressor you won't have to deal with . . . or even really think about. Although, I did get asked one time by a stranger what I would name my surro girlies. I thought this was really funny . . . why would I think of names for them when they weren't mine? Weird. Hello! I passed the Psych Exam, thank you very much! :)

It seemed as if George and Sanj knew immediately what the girls' names would be. I thought Natasha and Anjali were great name choices and loved hearing stories about the history of the names. Heck, they could've told me they were going to name them Gertrude and Birtha and I would've smiled and said, "Great Choices." See, that's the problem with telling people your name before the ink on the Birth Certificates is dry. . . unsolicited advice . . . and it's rarely nice.

When we were pregnant with Ruby, we had several name choices including Mallory and Kinsey. We were told by tons of people why our choices sucked. We ended up picking Annika until the last month when Ruby Rummelhart had a ring to it . . . dancer, author, actress, whatever, it sounded great! We had several people hate (yes, they used that word) the name Ruby . . . but now she's such a "Ruby", and we all couldn't imagine her named anything else.

Boys are harder to name, if you ask me. What makes a great name at 4, may seem ridiculous when he's 50. We had several names we liked for Preston and even re-evaluated them again when it was time to name Sawyer.

Oh and if you're really looking to hear how all your selections are the worst ever, sign up for a Baby Name Poll on Babycenter.com We did this with all of our kids, but with Sawyer, the people at Baby Center contacted us asking if his could be the Spotlight Baby Name Poll. This meant that it would be on their main page for a few days and anyone could vote. Sure I said, I love feedback. Well, if you thought a hundred friends and family posting negatives about your names were fun, you should try this. How about thousands of people who don't know you telling you how your choices are, "snobby" or asking if "you were drunk when you came up with these names?" Yes, very fun. Years later, the comments are gone but the voting %'s are still up- look here!

I guess my biggest thing was that as a Kelly born in the early 70's, the last thing I wanted for my kids was to have a name that a lot of kids already had. Some name choices were immediately off the list because they were in the TOP 100 Names the Social Security Reports . . . the Top 10 names removed themselves! LOL

Speaking of which, there have been several articles about how Isabella/Bella and Jacob are at the top for 2009 and that may be partly because of the Twilight Series of Books and Movies. I think books, movies, television do sway us in baby name choices at times. Heck, when I was pregnant with Ruby I loved Moulin Rouge. As we left the theatre I remember telling Rick, "Satine, that's an interesting name." He quickly told me that we weren't going to name our daughter after a whore, no matter how talented she was. Point Taken.
Later, when I was Pregnant with Preston, before we knew it was a boy, Ruby would dance for hours to Chicago. I was sold, if Ruby had a sister, Roxy Rummelhart, would be her name. It was a boy, so it became a mute point. Instead, Preston was a name I heard on the movie Can't Hardly Wait. I loved the character and the name was much cuter than Lloyd, another male character I thought was sweet. Sawyer was from Tom Sawyer, of course, but hearing it on LOST over and over helped me see it could be a first name. Even if we ended up having a girl, Sawyer would've still be on the girls list too.

So for those of you (including my new IPs) that are in the process of picking names, feel free to use any of my unused names.

My Favorite Girl Names I didn't get a chance to use:

Piper
Tatum
Kinsey
~~Harper~~ (my IPs did use this one!)
Ren

My Favorite Boy Names I didn't get a chance to use:

Holden
Vaughn
Gavin

**Again, feel free to use my unused names for your own kids or pets . . . if I were 25 and hadn't had my kids yet, I would harm you, but since I'm done having my own kids, feel free to steal my unused names. Again, unused. . . not Preston, Ruby or Sawyer, I don't want their names breaking into the top 100 . . . they are getting awfully close!

Oh- and feel free to leave your unused names in the Comments!

New Girlie Pics!

2010-04-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

Nothing makes me want to go visit my surro girlies as much as when I receive pictures of them . . . growing up so fast!

Here's Natasha

and here's Anjali

These pics are killing me! I'm stoked to see some hair clips in their gorgeous hair because I'm a big fan of hair clips and bows and have tons at my store that I can send them! :)

I definitely have to figure out a trip up there soon. It's been since early February that I saw them last. My life has just been so busy as of late with my business, teaching and life in general but I need to make the time! I will be going up in June for Pride (different post to follow) but I can't wait that long!